Begging Money

Financial Hardship Help

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College Student Indeed of Help

To Whom May Concern,

I hope your holiday season is going wonderful. I am not one to usually ask for help but here I am asking for help because I am struggling through school, working three jobs to pay for school, my rent, and just everyday needs. I am in a predicament where I am not getting enough hours through my jobs to keep up and I am about $3500.00 behind and that is why I am reaching out for help. I have had to use most of my savings due to COVID where my state was on shut down and still having to pay for tuition and my summer classes. I am one to help anyone and need and unfortunately, I am the one asking for help currently. I am hoping that if I do get money from a granter my loan will be paid off and I can at least make some more money so going into the New Year I am not finically struggling day today. I live on my own and I have worked so hard to get myself to this point on my own I am a junior in college aspiring to be a veterinarian. I want to help as many animals as I can and people who struggle to care for their animal, I want to make a difference in that field. I feel really bad for asking for help, but I am in a time of need and I can make the promise that when I do take off in my life career to help those in need that need help and their animals that need help. Honestly, this year has been the biggest struggle it’s had a lot of loss and just negative influences and I really have been working my hardest to turn it around day today and make it as positive as I cannot matter the circumstances. Yet, that challenge is hard, but it is doable. I am trying not to cry as I write this, and it may not seem emotional to anyone else, but I know the struggle that I have faced this year and it’s been rough, and holding my head about water is all I can do anymore. I hope you have the best holiday season, and I am thankful for you helping those who are struggling in their own way. Thank you just for the consideration. **My pictures will not load so I am unsure how to fix that.**

paypal.me/HaleyFrazier

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Needing 5,000

Hello there! My name is Caitlin. I’m 30 years old and I am a nurse. One of my dreams was to always buy a house thats perfect for me and my 2 dogs, Mario and Luigi. My credit has always been poor and I’ve worked extremely hard the last few years to raise my credit. Recently I was finally approved for a home loan! How exciting! However, the only loan I could be approved for requires a down payment of 3.5%.  Unfortunately, that means around 5200 dollars needed for down payment alone, not including closing costs. I know this sounds very selfish, especially during such trying times, but this is my final end goal. I’ve found a house recently that is absolutely perfect, but I have zero percent of the down payment. My dogs and I have been through quite a lot together, starting with living where we could and with who we could, only to have those bridges burned. With that, we had to move back home with 1 condition, the dogs weren’t allowed in my parents house. So I stayed in a broken down camper with my dogs because if they weren’t allowed in the house,  well then I wasn’t either, cause those are my babies. We slept on a wooden slab cushioned with old couch cushions strung together with blankets. Finally, after spending a dreadfully cold winter in the dilapidated camper, barely enough electricity to run an electric heater, I came across a little cabin for rent that allowed my dogs.  Definitely warmer than the drafty camper! So I’ve worked hard and have done everything I could to get to my situation now. Please, if you’ll consider helping me make our dream home a reality!

https://www.paypal.me/caitlinds3

 

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Trip with My Best Friend

Hello my name is Cassandra B. Im 24 years old and I’m deaf. I’m too shy to socialize and communicate.

I desperately need money after finally my mom can allow me go visit and see my friend (next year.. feb 2021) after two years.  I need $9,000 or less.

I left university because I was heavily depressed and almost put end on my life. But she, Savannah, saved my life by her kind words.  I’m okay today.

I don’t have a job and didn’t get driver licenses.  I kept failing driving written tests. I’ve been stuck in my room every day.

If I visit her, she can help me by traveling with her in car so we can see other friends.

15+ years ago, 5 of us went same school in Missouri.  I used to live in boarding school dorm.  Few years later, we left boarding school and moved away.  Really far away.  I lived in California. Savvy lived in Tennessee.  Other friends live in Missouri/Michigan.

It’s the last trip I really want to visit. After this trip can be happening or not, I’ll focus on my family. My mom worked so hard for rented house and other bills. My dad lost his job last year. They are very tired.  I didn’t want burden them too much.

I really appreciate your support and I’m super grateful when you listen my story.  I’m sorry if grammar don’t looks good.

My friends and I missed each other.

This is first time I’ve beg or create this donation. I’m nervous to share this.

Thank you.

https://www.paypal.me/CassTheDoge

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I want to be by my boyfriend’s side

Hello everyone, my name is Nicole and this is my story.

I’m from Lima, Peru. I started to study dentistry at university in 2018, and there I met Adriano. We became best friends really fast and we ended up falling in love. Adriano is originally from Italy, and he came to Peru for his education. We had to pass through a lot of stuff together. Even my parents tried to keep me away from him by practically taking my freedom away from me. He went back to Italy after we kinda fixed things. And we are really sad because we are too far away from each other and I don’t want to see him again in June.IMG-20190731-WA0083.jpg

You don’t know how much I love this boy. I truly want to marry him because we are made for each other. When my parents locked me down in my own house (well, Covid purposes too), they took my phone, social media and all types of communication away from me. I couldn’t talk to my friends and Adriano for months. For 4 months aprox. It was a torture for both of us. We didn’t know anything about the other and that was killing us. I tried to convince my parents that he was a good person, that people change, but they were really stubborn and never wanted to support me. So, I decided to leave. Yeah… I escaped. I lived for 2 weeks with Adriano. My parents were absolutely terrified and even seeked for the police’s help. Of course I wanted to return back home, but I wanted to be listened and understood. I wanted more freedom because they treated me like a baby. When I finally went back home, I talked to them about the fact that I am big enough to decide what’s best for me, and that they can’t help me in avoiding bad situations of life.

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Adriano and I had two months of happiness (with a lot of restrictions due to Covid), but he had to leave Peru and return to Italy. He left a month and a half ago, and I miss him as hell. You have no idea. So many time apart and now that we finally can be together… He’s gone.

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So I know is hard but I want your help, guys. I need $5000 dollars to afford a one-month trip to Italy in February. That will help me for the tickets, food, and everything I’ll need there. My father told me I could do that if I pay it with my own money, but I don’t have any job (now it is tough to get one) and he never gives me tips. So, I thought you guys can help me in this trip I want to do. I hope you can help me. I NEED THIS BEFORE FEBRUARY GUYS!!

THIS IS MY PAYPAL.ME: paypal.me/nicoleugolotti

Nicole xoxo

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Some money for my future

Hello, my name is Luis Garcia, and I live in Venezuela, I was born here, and lived a somewhat interesting life? My parents separated when I was a child, I was about 5-6 years old, I lived with my mother in my grandparents’ house, I remember my childhood a bit problematic, fights between my uncles, between my grandparents, my parents etc, then the economic situation of the country declining faster and faster and the country reaching extreme poverty, I never had good things, I never had a phone, good pc or some console, I am a very, very shy person reaching the point of not speaking almost in conversations, not giving any opinion, etc, I have lost many friends because of my shyness, I have distanced myself from them to the point of not knowing how to return to them To speak nor to say, that’s why I have lived a lonely life most of the time, it has cost me even to relate to my family …, So after giving a short description of my life, I would like to have some kind of help to be able to cope my aspirations, to at least get out of This country, I am currently in university but it is not good, I would like to study at a good university, I want to be a programmer, I really love it, I never had any kind of inclination towards a specific career, nothing attracted me, but one day I tried programming ( with simple things) and I fall completely in love, it is what I want to dedicate myself to the rest of my life, but in the situation that I find myself is really complicated, at my house sometimes there is nothing to eat, my grandmother’s pension currently It is not enough for anything, the minimum salary I think is less than 1 dollar, and it does not give to buy something, it has been hard to live like this, I have decided to start saving to leave this country and study abroad to help myself family in the future, little by little I am saving but certainly at this rate I do not think I can reach anything …

Now comes what it costs me, to come here and beg for money, I don’t think it’s the best way to get money to save and buy food, but with some hope maybe later I can return it in the future if someone gets to read This, to donate something to me, really even if it is 1 $ for me is already too much.

If someone really does, I want them to know that I thank them from the bottom of my heart and, I hope I can return it one day.

https://paypal.me/KimuraRyuu

Thank you for reading!

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Comfort of Home

Hello

I’m writing this email on behalf of myself and humbly requesting assistance with starting my Non for Profit (Comforts of Home).  This is a place for homeless parents with young and/or school-age kids to live while parents are working towards securing a reliable job where they can comfortably provide for their families.  This community will provide shelter, food, daycare, job readiness for parents, tutoring, and other life skills needed for success.  The goal is to partner with local employers, government-assisted programs, and other organizations to help the parents and children thrive even in challenging times with spiritual, mental, and financial support.  We will offer Inclusion & Diversity programs that address the concerns that plague and haunt communities,  inequities, and disadvantages that black and brown families face daily to help them rise above that limiting mindset to hope and determination.  We will be educating while appreciating and celebrating cultural differences of all to unite our communities.
My why behind my passion… I don’t feel anyone should suffer or be homeless especially children of any age.  Children should only worry about school,  playing with friends/family and learning age appreciate responsibilities.
My humble request is two-fold, one to seek assistance in building out a community or the purchase of a small hotel/ apartment complex strictly designated to house homeless parents within the Phoenix, AZ metro area.  Secondly, request a donation or loan that will allow me to pay off all my debt that includes student loans of $150,000.  I’m offering to pay the loan back to the donor directly, repay it back into my organization OR repay it back to the donor(s) charity organization choice.  This will allow me to be in a position to request bank loans for housing, land, and other equipment for the Comfort of Home organization.
PayPal Acct is Nicole Gallimore

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Need home

I am a young adult. Just trying to get out of a bad home life with no money to fund it. I want to build my own home that will be big enough for my family when I start one, because I am trying to look to the future. That way I will not have to move and I know will be as secure and as safe for me and my future family as possible. I have a big family and that did not help me in life. Before I even reached double digits, I was molested and raped by my own brothers and made to do things with others. When it was found out after a long time my own dad just told them to stop and that was that. It didn’t stop off the bat. It did get better for me for a little while, because it was not happening. But I still lived there with them and had to deal with them and their friends and me and my so told lies. I spent years being threatened by one of them and that was better than paying for it. It did eventually get better for a period of time. Till I hit my mid-teens, about my high school years. Then my sister’s boyfriend moved in and I guess my so-called stories were told. I looked up to him as the brother I would have rather had. I felt safe and protected with him so I clung to him like my safety net. That late came back to bite me, because he used my trust to get what he wanted from me. Weather I was awake or not for him made little difference to him he got what he wanted. The sad part is that it ruined more years of my life. Especially as when I told others it did not make a difference. I was either telling more stories for attention or whatever other means or it was lies how could it be true if I was always around him and hanging off of him. It helped to keep me even more isolated from others and have no friends much less real ones. I have had to work for everything I have and want, but I cannot get a job anywhere else in my small town especially when my family is well known and everyone knows everyone and everything. I am stuck working for my family making minimum wage. The same family that has managed to sweep all my stories under their rug are who I work with. It makes it extra hard to save money when I have to pay for everything from gas, my car, food, rent, my phone, etc. $800 a month does not make it far. It is more than $800 to rent a small house in my town. Any help you can give in money would be greatly appreciated to have my own home and maybe start to meet friends and have a real life and get help.

 

paypal.me/DHNV

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Help me give my kids the life they deserve

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Paypal.me/ToxicMesh

 

I messed up and didn’t add my paypal. I’m sorry.

Incase no one sees the other, to shorten this as much as possible I’m a single mom to two boys I had from an abusive relationship and from a rape. I work non stop to pay the Bill’s but I’m a freelance graphic artist and 6 other random jobs online to pay the Bill’s.

I’m doing anything and everything I can to give my boys the best. But due to covid I’ve been getting so much less work via my main job I have no way to save.

The realtor selling this home says he can wait atleast till this coming Tuesday/Wednesday the latest. But if I’m able to get the first months payment via the mortgage on this home its mine.

I am able to pay it regularly after but theres no way I can come up with $1800 before then

Not to mention what I need $100 or so to get my car running again.

 

If anyone can assist me in anyway….you have no idea what you’d be doing for myself as well as my kids…they are 3 and 4yrs old and are my entire world.

I’m doing ANYTHING I can to make this happen.

ANYTHING

because they deserve it.

They deserve a real home to grow up in.

…..thank you.

 

Paypal.me/ToxicMesh

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Wishing to become Independent

Hello,

my name is Elfa Snape and I am 35 years old. I have Asperger’s Syndrome and I live with my parents. My biggest wish is to one day be independent – I am afraid of what will happen when my parents die because I don’t know if I can take care of myself alone. I am very dependent on them for a lot of things. I do not have a driver’s licence and as such I cannot drive myself to doctor’s appointments, to the bank, to the store for food and a lot of other, important things that are needed to survive.

We live in the countryside and if I were to be left alone, I would probably die – not only would I not be able to go buy food for survival, I don’t know how I would pay for the bills. The minimal wage in Slovenia is 940,58€ as of 2020 – which is about 1107$. I am retired as an invalid and I get 594€ every month. This is 700$. It is not enough to be able to rent a small apartment and pay the bills every month, buy food and other necessities, even if I did not spend any money on anything else. So as you can see I can not become independent even when I want to.

I am unable to find work due to my invalid status and I have not been able to finish high school due to medical problems that I have – hormonal imbalance, thyroid problems, depression, back problems,…

I would love to move to a city where I can get to the food store easily, or go to a doctor, or a bank, by myself and on foot (I am afraid of using public services like trains, buses and taxis – I was sexually harassed on a train once and I never stepped foot in it again unless there was someone I knew with me) but in my current situation I just can’t.

I am really bad at asking for help, but I am really scared of what will happen when my parents die and I need help in being able to become independent.

I am gathering all the courage I have in asking you for your support here. I have never done this before, so I have no idea as to what to write or say. But I would be really happy and thankful for every little bit you can support me with.

paypal.me/bakaprincess85

Thank you very much for reading this post and have a good rest of the day.

Elfa

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Sweetheart in need!

I’m just a girl from a small town in the Midwest looking for some help. I’ve struggled with having substantially uneven breasts. All I’ve ever wanted was to feel comfortable and proud in my own skin. To wear a backless dress, to have the freedom to run around without a bra on, etc would mean the world to me. I just want to confidence to buy and wear a normal bra without feeling like a disgusting mutant that nothing fits. I take my clothes off in front of the mirror and I cry. Trying on swimming suits sends me into a pure state of anxiety. Anything at this point would bring me a step closer to feeling that significant release of this toxic body deformity. Thank you for taking your time reading this. It’s incredibly embarrassing and took a lot of courage to write and finally ask for help.

The amount of money I’m trying to reach is 20,000

https://paypal.me/linzsugarplum

 

 

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I don’t NEED this, I just desire it and know it will bring joy.

Hello,

First of all, thank you for taking time to read this.

I am a mom of four,I raised all of them on my own with no child support, (I had A some help from my mom till she passed away) despite the lack of money and the struggles and hardships along the way, they all grew to be good members of society, they all have professional jobs and families now.

I have 8 grandkids. We are all pretty close, no one does drugs, drinks steals or has ever been arrested and they all generally good people. So I think I did ok .

i have some health issues now and my body is failing me. I am in chronic pain with EDS, fibromyalgia, scoliosis, plantar fasciitis and a heart condition. I am on partial disability and work from home to make up the difference.

My husband is gone 10+ hours a day for work and the commute. We make enough money to be ok.

I would love to have a “circuit  maker“ machine and t-shirt press that also does hats and cups.

i have a lot of time on my hands but cannot do a whole lot because my body won’t allow it anymore . My doctor says I will eventually e in a wheelchair so I need to find new ways to stay busy and happy. Depression is always trying to take over since I can no longer hike, garden much or help others like I use to.
I want to make gifts for my family and I want to help the community a bit. I use to have a store and loved donating  and helping people. I feel if I can make things to sell, I can make enough to buy more materials and to donate to places like our humane society and the meals on wheels program and to our homeless shelters. Maybe make uplifting things to donate also to give people encouragement in hard times.
I had to depend on the generosity of strangers when I left my abusive relationship and started over with my kids in a secluded camp ground, I worked hard to get a new start and some people gave me a hand up. I want to keep doing things for others but can’t work my store any longer. I have no extra cash. And I have been researching the Cricut machines and tools and know I can make a little difference. I have been saving money from selling eggs from my chickens to be able to buy these things but it is taking so long…..

i am kind of embarrassed to even ask for help with this because it’s not a real “need” just kind of a dream.
we are not poor. We are not in debt and we have no small children. No pets in need. It’s just me desiring something to do and to be creative and spread a little joy for my self and others. But it is a cost I am having a hard time putting together to get it started. any amount will really help and be a blessing .

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Long Distance Struggles (Especially during Covid-19)

Hi there.

So I am a young man from the United Kingdom. I am a full time working, driven, family oriented individual. I am and have been in a long distance relationship with a young American woman, next year marks our 10th year anniversary as a couple and I just want to be there for her and I hope to marry her.

What can I say. I’m a hopeless romantic.

We are both in a situation where we have little finances. I have been trying to make enough money to go back to the US and stay for some time however existing bills and other finances make this difficult. The initial cost of the journey, upkeep of existing bills and the price of daily living is extensive.

I was planning to go back over there this year for 3months (it has been 2 years and I hate that we had to wait this long but we have to do what we have to do to get by) but then the pandemic hit. Travel thus far is restricted between the US and the UK for now. Then being put on furlow has cut my income further making the possibility of earning enough money for my stay even less probable.

To make a hard year worse, I had an extreme scare earlier this month. My fiancée is scared that our goals of being together look bleak. She almost broke up with me as she is scared that my devotion to her is holding me back from living my own life and creating memories. She thinks that she isn’t worth the wait and although I assured her I would move heaven and earth to become her husband and live our lives together, its extremely hard. She has been patient with me and relies on her own income to maintain her own property and family leaving her finances very slim, its all down to me.

I love this lady with all my heart, I just want to give her the world. The touch she craves, the presence she fights so hard to wait for. She is my life and I am hers. I want to prove to her that she is more than worth the fight!

So that’s my story…..

Lets cover the finances. I make probably around $1200 a month. With my expenses taking roughly 3/4. So $300 remains at a rough estimation…

The flights is the easy part probably around $1000 with Insurance etc. An extra $300 should I choose the 6month VISA option

The living costs probably $750 for each month I am there. Which I’m planning either 3 or 6months depending on how much I am able to make.

Wedding costs. I’m not entirely sure, I mean I would love to give her a fantastic ceremony with tonnes of guests and beautiful sights and a honeymoon to boot. However I would also be happy with a romantic, quaint, small attendance wedding. I’m guessing the range is between $7500 – $15000.

I’ll be honest, I’m asking for a lot and I’m not even sure if I will receive anything. However I thought after an honest request we will see what happens….

To any benefactors, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Depending how well this goes, I know she has always dreamed of going to Disney World as well! But one thing at a time!

Ben

paypal.me/BAitken91

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**I hope this speaks to your heart

Hi all,

*** I truly appreciate your time it takes to read this, and your consideration***

A little about me…

I am 36 and I live in a small town in Ontario, Canada. I am a girly girl at heart, I love to smile, and my friends describe me as passionate, sweet, caring, smart, fun, nurturing, funny, athletic, organized, and a perfectionist (just to name a few)!

I spend a lot of time with my family, who are all in my city. My parents are still married (38 years this year), I have a younger brother who is married (to one of my childhood friends), and they have 2 girls (5 and 2) who are the loves of my life. I am also “Auntie Jess” to my best friend’s 2 little guys (who are 9 and 6).

I have a caring heart and I am always doing so much for others, and tend to forget to take care of myself (which is something I am definitely working on). I give so much, because it feels so good to give, and never expect anything in return. I also live vicariously through them, as they have what I have dreamed about my entire life — spouses and kids.

I have a great career, a wonderful group of friends and the absolute best family who mean the world to me… I am truly blessed – but I am missing the most important pieces of my life.

A bit of my story…
I moved back ‘home’ to my small town in 2011, following a breakup (with someone who I was with for 5 years). Despite my family‘s concern of how limiting my city is (for work, and for meeting people),  I knew my heart was always here, and took the leap of faith to move home.

I have scored my dream job, and am so grateful each day for that piece of my life working out and giving me such purpose and happiness.

My #1 goal in life is to be a wife and a mom. It always has been.

As fulfilling as my life is, unfortunately it has been very limiting to meet “the one”, and my life is incomplete. I am selective, and have decided I am waiting for the one, and not willing to settle

I just got home from a weekend away at my aunt and uncle’s for my cousin’s baby shower. My aunt (mom’s sister) is like a second mother to me, as well as a great therapist – haha – (because of her masters of social work, and her wealth of work and life experience) and I am forever thankful for her in my life. With my (much younger) cousin having a baby soon, of course we talked about me, and my path, and future.

I always pictured myself to be the first one out of my family and friends to get married and start having a family. So did my close friends. I wanted to be married by 25, and start having kids by the time I was 27. It has always been something that was “supposed to” come natural and easy to me. Even after ‘starting my life over’ at 27 by moving back home, I never pictured my life as what it is now:
Reality is, is that I am 36, with no potential husband in my sight. My family and friends (even much younger close family friends of ours) have gotten married and are now starting families, and my concern about getting older, with no potential, is really starting to weigh heavily on me.

After this weekend, I am seriously considering taking the steps towards becoming a mother, even if that means doing so on my own. Either that, or I now realize why I haven’t been blessed with meeting my man — I am not in the best financial place.

My dreams came to a sudden halt when reality hit again and I realized that I wouldn’t be able to afford the treatments/process, (for IVF with a donor, or adoption, or some other avenue) and I couldn’t afford to be off on maternity leave, because I wouldn’t be able to pay my debt with less income.

I do have the best family, and wouldn’t change them for the world, but unfortunately we are not well-off, and we don’t come from family money. My parents felt it was important for my mom to be a stay-at-home-mom/wife/homemaker, and I wouldn’t change that for the world, but with that came sacrifices. Don’t get me wrong … We never went without. But we weren’t ever a family with extra money.

I work hard, and even try to make money on the side, but I simply cannot get ahead.

Could you change my life and help me get in the right financial place for me to have the foundation to become a mother like I have always been meant to become?

$50,000 would completely change my life, and I am asking for any contribution you are able and willing to give. I know that this would be a complete turning point in my life, and I would continue to give back more than I do and can now. A huge weight would be lifted off my shoulders and I would be able to live my life to my true top potential. I would be forever grateful and indebted to you for helping to make my dreams come true.
I want to thank you for your understanding and consideration.
xo
https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/jesleibar

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Love From God

Hello my name is Douglas. I’m asking for help of $5000. If there ever is a need the time is right now for my Beautiful Wife and I to ask if this could  be a way for us to live OUR dream with her two children as i live in Canada and shes is in the states.

We are struggling with our plan as time is running quickly out and hopes, that we prayed for is just so close for us as we wait to see all things come together for us in time. Well, that’s why we are here asking for help.

Donna and I are married. She has two beautiful  children ages 7 and 9. I have two wonderful young Adults myself.

I come from a broken family that just after 22 years with my first wife as fallen 5 years ago. It was after i felt that i deserved a second chance and so, i have asked God that if their was ever a woman out there for me that need a husband for good that this person would be me. A couple years latter I have meant my wife (Donna).

We are trying to find a way through with paying taxes on her fathers will that he left to her. I;m trying my very best to keep this going for us as i struggle very hard financially as i support her and my other two kids as they still go school.

Our plan has been up and down and now there’s only hope for all this to happen as i plan has been put into place but i’m very afraid about time running out for us.

We would love to see this happen as soon as we can so we can take the next steps foreword and that is to bring my family home here to Canada with me. We believe that there are very good people that do come to  sites and do help. I for one would love to return this favor for someone in need or two just because of your caring and understanding kind ways to help out in a situation like this for us.

I pray that this letter will warm your hearts and to know that with your help you’ll be helping others as well as i vow that if this can happen in time for us. I will help others that desperately need it in time to come.

We would like to thank you for reading this great letter with the hopes and dream of our’s do come true from the love of god.

Thank you,

God Bless.

https://paypal.me/LoveFromGod?locale.x=en_US

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Just trying to do right for once.

Hi,

I came across this website by looking at ways to get help. I am at the point in my life that I am willing to give almost anything a try. I am reaching out to try and get help with just bills. I am a mother of four kids. I am currently on disability and receive a total of $1102 in benefits every third of the month. My oldest is 24 and does not live with me, she is currently in school to earn her Master’s degree in Healthcare Administration at Texas Tech. My 20 yr old, just moved out after we got into a fight about her life, I know I should let her learn on her own but I am just trying to get her to not make the same mistakes I did. I stay up and worry crazy about her, I just want her home and safe, but she’s just not ready to come home. My 17 yr old is a Junior in high school. He is a straight-A student, he has been since 5th grade. He also does dual credit for his college credits and is looking for a job. My 10 yr old is in 5th grade and is my baby. I know many moms would say this but my kids are just great, they deserve the world. Honestly, they deserve a way better mom than me, but I’m what they got. I am a 39 yr old, bipolar, recovering addict, rape survivor, domestic/financial/emotional/mental abuse survivor, who is finally just trying to do what is right, but I am struggling. These kids deserve so much better and I am trying to give it to them but I am failing. I don’t receive child support, my two boys’ fathers haven’t paid in months. My younger daughter’s dad stopped paying when she turned 18, and my 24 yr old is the product from rape. I was a 14 yr old virgin, and to this day, no one has been charged for it. I don’t even know who it is, the sad part is, it happened in a really small town, it literally could be anyone. I never saw his face, plus at the time my parents didn’t believe me, so not much was done.  I was diagnosed with being bipolar at 35, if I would have known when I was younger and been medicated, I think my life would have been so different. I just justify it saying if I didn’t go through what I went through I wouldn’t have my amazing kids. Well, that’s how I see it now. I didn’t always feel that way, it took two suicide attempts to get me to change my thinking.  My life changed after that. I got help and medicated and religion. I am so thankful that my kids have forgiven me for my past and are allowing me to show them I want to be better. I have been doing good. I struggle but I have always been able to float by, not this month, I’m sinking. So, this is where I come to ask for help. Any help. I am okay now mentally and at a C- emotionally, but financially I am at an F. I just want to pay my bills, not get behind, and be okay. I have credit cards and loans and pawn and my reoccurring bills. I am just trying to pay everyone I own and I just can’t do it anymore. I’m lost.