I Honestly don’t know where to begin!
I am usually not one to admit needing help, but I have to help anyone I see in need even if I am not “financially” able.  I see with my heart not with my eyes. This hurts me more than I will ever actually accept. I feel like we have very little time in this life, so why not try and make the best of it while we can.
I have worked in restaurants and gas stations/convenient store since I was 12 years old.  If you personally know me outside of “work life” you probably wouldn’t believe I was the same person. Some may think or say I am anti social, weird or rude. (This may honestly be how I think or feel about myself).
This is far from the truth.. I am a Leo! I am a mommy of 2 amazing children.  I can be loud, over dramatic, seem demanding at times.
For the past 2 years I have been a cashier at a small gas station in my childhood home town.
I have never in my life been able to say “I love my job” or “I love working here”. Well I do now, I love working at this lil place!  I wouldn’t be able to fully explain my experience. I wish I could project my thoughts on a wall!
I have met and meet many people of different races, faiths, beliefs. I love keeping an open mind and heart because at the end of my shift, if I feel like I could have done better or if i havent successfully completed my duties… I am disappointed in myself and know I can do better! When I am behind that counter I feel like it is my place to make sure my customers, my friends and family are in a comforting, clean, friendly environment. You are going to walk out of there wishing you had more time. I am going to do my best to change any negative thoughts or feelings you may having. I am going to do my damndest to make you at the very least leave with a smirk. I feel so deeply so if you are sad, angry, upset, I feel it and I want to do everything I can to make you feel a lil better.
These past 2+ years, Sep. 2017-present 2020. Have been an eye opener, adventurous life experience, a continuous everyday struggle. This all started around Feb. 2017 when I had unknown consistent water leakes in my main water line that is over 600ft. My water bill would be $300+ at times and I paid these high bills for a couple months until my husband left his job for us to start our own dream business with a family friend. We eventually couldn’t pay the high water bill and couldn’t rent the equipment for us to dig the 600foot main line that is all rock filled land. So I called our water company and told them to just shut the water off we couldn’t pay the now over $800 water bill. We learned to live without running water. Now with starting a new business with a family friend we finally have hope’s and promised income that would change our lives. So we thought…. after a few months of my husband and I putting all we have into this business, sacrifices made. Our “business  partner” disappears without a trace. (Yeah I know it may all sound like B’S, but there is so much more). We slowly started loosing everything we had worked so hard for for the past 5 years.
We lost water, then we had our power shut off, I had to move our kids out of our home and out of their school. To live in not much better conditions other than them having water and power. It had to be done for obvious reasons though. My husband and I have lived like this for 2 years now doing everything we can just to survive day to day. Trying to get back on Our feet and bring our kids back home with us. Luck has not been on our side. On top of it all, Our truck was stolen from our front yard while I was at work. My husband walked to my job to inform me of the news and to use a phone to call and make a police report because his cell phone, lap top, everything of value, our personal belongings were inside the truck. We lost everything! Social security cards, drivers license, title. So much I wouldn’t be able to name it all. We practically lived out of our truck. It was our mobile generator pretty much. A Day or so later we call the police station because we haven’t heard back from them, they would tell us that they would contact us as soon as the officer who took the report was not in the office, or off duty. This continued for a few days. They didn’t know what to tell us… come to find out the officer never filed the report!?!? Really?!  Yes I do have a full time job working over 45+ hours most weeks and at times have worked for weeks/months without a day off. I make 7.50 an hour up to 38 hours anything over 38 hours I get paid cash. No overtime, no time and a half, no benefits, no vacation, no holiday pay, no bonuses. I just received a .25cent raise a couple weeks ago but havnt been back to work since June 18th 2020. My daddy unexpectedly passed away June 15th 2020. He was 54 years old, I wasn’t and I am still not ready to let go and hasn’t fully set in. I tried to go back into work the day after being the 16th and I think maybe pushed through the 17th, 18th and 19th. I told my boss I had to be off the 20th to have a memorial for my daddy and I haven’t been back to work yet. Two days after saying our “goodbyes” to daddy. My sister-in-law calls me to inform me that herself and my brother would like to place my children in separate homes. That they want my son to live with them and my Aunt wants to let my daughter live with her. I was upset I didn’t understand I felt like they were trying to take my babies from me.l Like I wasn’t doing my part as their mommy, like I wasn’t or haven’t been doing everything for the betterment of my children. My family hardly ever has anything to do with me and my children. It has been this way as far as i can remember. Since I was 2 years old when my mom and dad separated. I have seen my Aunt a total of maybe 10 times in the past 32 years. I still hold my “feeling” in, take a night to take everything going on into consideration and then I decide to talk to my children ages 16 and 13 and ask them how they feel about it all. I let my children choose to do what they felt like they needed and wanted to do. So I allowed my son to move in with my brother (that is younger than me). My daughter moved in with my Aunt ( has only met my daughter maybe 3 times total). During all of this I get a text from my only real friend who is like a mother to me telling me that Donnie (her husband) had passed away. At this point I am about ready to surrender, I am beyond heat broken, my baby girls 13th Birthday July 5th was coming up and have no way to get to her. I lost cell service it has expired. My son had been trying to get in touch with me because he needed to talk to his mommy. I finally hustle up enough gas money on the 6th to not give my baby girl nice gifts, a party, not even a cake. All she wanted was for my husband and I to be there in person to just spend a lil time with her. While visiting my baby girl I am about to sign over temporary custody so she can be enrolled into a new school and for medical purposes. I had literally just picked up the pen when my Aunt says… hold on a minute, she’s just going to have to go back home with you. Her husband apparently was afraid of getting covid-19 and my Aunt decided that it was best to just do as he says to not cause problems in their home. My daughter had to pack all her things after being there from June 21st to July 6th. To go back to the place where my brother and Aunt didn’t see fit for my children. My daughter was and still is heart broken. My son I don’t even know what’s going on at the moment. I’m just about at my breaking point… I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m lost, confused…. My heart is hurting and I just don’t want to feel the pain anymore. I am about ready to give up and loss all faith. What more do I have to loose?
I know I am struggling now more then ever Mentally and physically. I haven’t had income in weeks now, struggling daily with what to do next but have no motivation to do anything. I haven’t been able to sleep, haven’t been able to eat even if I could afford to eat. I love my job or not my job but my  customers the people I seen daily and grew to love. They were like family, I loved being able to see them and loved making their day, because in all honesty they made my days better. Now to think about the job part of it. I was being taken advantage of and had been for 2 years( it would be in Sept). So would it really be worth going back? Not in my eyes with everything I had to do and not even making enough to get through a full 7 day week. I only wish to have my children back with me… they are my happiness and it has been way to long.

Thank you to anyone that takes the time out of their day just to read my story if nothing more.

Paypal.me/ArgPng

Welcome!

In a sentence:  Teaching myself web development skills using HTML/CSS/JavaScript everyday 20 hours per week, homeless without family/friends to live with as I pursue career change.

Why I’m homeless & studying:

Earlier this year 2020 I was working a low paying job living hand to mouth. After thinking about where my life would be in 5 to 10 years, at 30 years old, I decided I need to master an actual skillset that’s in demand. Sick and tired of living paycheck to paycheck.

After reaching out to family and friends about my desire to change careers  into web development, and asked if they wanted to help me out. To my dismay, I didn’t receive any support from family/friends. So I decided this was a risk I had to take to bet on myself in order to better my life. Only spinning my wheels working 40-55hrs a week for less than $10 per hour at my last  job. I took my last several paychecks and stimulus money to cover 9months of cellphone service and a used Macbook Air to learn everything web development. So I didn’t have to worry about immediate bills or have anxiety, I would be able to focus on studying.

(Note: Using a Mac is commonly used in learning web development because of the software. Although using Windows/Linux is fine too. I never had a Mac anything until now.)

CURRENTLY/AS YOU’RE READING:

Since the beginning of June 2020, I’ve been teaching myself web development 4+hours per day/20 hours per week. Using free online resources along with 3 paid Udemy courses I used with my last paychecks. Using a time tracker to document both what I am learning and time spent studying. I will be posting what are called “projects” which is webpages I’ve built myself using HTML/CSS/JavaScript languages soon.

My goal is to continue to study 20hrs per week until end of September, so I have a level of mastery over each language and the tools used in the job field matching indeed/craigslist job postings. By this Fall I am going to be confident in interviews and if everything works out, by this winter or early 2021 land my new job as a web developer.

Why do I need your help?

I need help because I didn’t know being homeless would be so tough, especially without the support of family/friends. The money you would choose to donate would go towards things like: bus passes ($65 for a 30 day local bus pass), new shoes, new clothes and money for food when I run out of food stamps. Until I’m done studying this hardcore 20 hours a week by end of September, which is when I plan on getting back to working a job again even if it’s low-paying until I change careers.

If you can help, because you can and want to, amazing! Thank you in advance for the support!

Sincerely,

Jesse Wellman

https://paypal.me/imjessewellman

I’m a good person.  I’m an honorably discharged vet with PTSD (i’ll tell you why that’s important later i’m not using vet status to suck up) anxiety disorder, severe adhd and several physical ailments.  I’m doing this because I cannot function in the civilian world too well but I’m working on it.  I am currently at the V.A. Hospital in Battle Creek trying to learn more about my physical and mental issues.  I am an alcoholic.  I haven’t been one my entire adult life but it has consumed a good part of the last ten years.  I am learning so much about it I believe I will have a very large “toolbox” to utilize when I have temptations.  I need help to not only move but pay off debt to start over…literally start over.  I am very caring, giving, positive (believe it or not i am), I love people and live by the golden rule.  I’m asking for a small amount of help and I promise you I will pay it forward several times.

I hope you can help.  Thank you btw, what you’re doing is really great.

-Lawrence

Hi, my name is Keeley
I’m sorry if this sounds a little odd, but I’ve never asked anyone for money before. so I guess I’ll start by saying I have a lot of health problems, so many in fact that they keep me from living my life. I was 29 years old when I had a stroke also had endometriosis and had to have surgery because I had cancer. I have a muscle disease,bone disease, and fibromyalgia so I’m in pain everyday.
Due to my bone disease my teeth have gone bad. I I like to get teeth implants find a doctor that can give me bioidentical hormones. I just wanted to cut to the point instead of dragging it out. I’m really not good at this I wouldn’t be asking if I made enough but you seem living on Social Security barely make enough to pay your bills. Even if you can’t hope thank you for reading this . It makes me happy knowing if you don’t help me you will at least help someone.

Sincerely,
Keeley

paypal.me/kikiblackbird

I’ve thought a lot about ways to make money; maybe get a second job, complete online surveys, or by scoring big on lotto tickets. You see I don’t have a bad job, meaning I make okay money, but not enough to buy a house or move forward with my dreams.

My parents came here as immigrants, eventually met, and had me and my six siblings. Proudly I can say I’m the first to graduate high school, graduate college, and get a masters degree. Sometime I look back and although I’m proud of myself I wish I would’ve listened to my parents, they wanted me to become a doctor, a lawyer, or even a nurse, but instead I became a substance abuse therapist who makes crap money. I obviously didn’t go into the field for the money, but money would be nice.

You see like everyone I have a story, I don’t like to tell it because I don’t want people’s pitty or to fall into victim mode, but I think it’s important to tell it. Anyway, I was ten when I lost my childhood; my mom had a stroke and became non-verbal and somehow being the youngest meant being the caregiver. I began to take care of my mom at the age of ten; we’d take cabs to her doctor appointments and I’d do all the speaking because she couldn’t, in a way I became the voice she never gained back. As the years passed I felt more and more out of place because you see the world didn’t stop spinning just because I was going through this nightmare. Throughout high school my days, weeks, and months were filled with doctor appointments and hospital visits as well as school, homework at 2 am, and counting pills at Rite Aid as a job. I thought I was unstoppable and that I’d never break, but once I got to college I found out that I was not a machine, but instead a lost, depressed, parentless  teenager. The panic attacks started and I felt like I was drowning between being a full time student, working long hours at Victoria’s Secret, and taking care of my mom. Somehow I made it to graduation and graduated with a 3.7 GPA, but it didn’t matter because mentally I was gone. My panic attacks had impacted me so severely that I didn’t even walk for graduation although I was so proud that I was the first and only person in my family to ever graduate from college.

I’ll never forget the day I took a step back and realized that if I wanted to live I had to get help. I found a therapist and worked on managing my depression and panic attacks and after two years of painful work I was mentally ready to go back to school. During this time I continued to deal with caring for my mother and verbal abuse from my brother who to this day is an alcoholic. Looking back I realize that my career chose me, I know that counseling is what saved me and being a counselor myself is my way of giving back. You see I’m not a victim, I’m a survivor and 20 years later I continue its to survive as I continue to care for my mother and myself. The only difference today is that I know that I too matter and that I too deserve to start my own life, separate from the one that I’ve lived for so long. There are so many things I’m proud of, but the thing that I’m most proud of is learning to be vulnerable and ask for help.

I have always been independent. Too proud to ask for help from others, taught to always survive by doing your best. Spent most of my life helping others as a law enforcement officer. In 1996, I married to my soul-mate. Someone that meets no stranger, and will do without to help someone else in need. A wonderful woman that deserves so much more than I can now give.

We were both disabled around 2000. We have done pretty good to stay afloat for the last 20 years, although at times it hasn’t been easy living on just disability. For a while we supplemented our income breeding some of the finest Great Danes. Then our disabilities (back injuries) progressed to the point, we just couldn’t do it any longer. Around 2013 we downsized, after the last of our two children married and moved on.

During that move in 2013 I suffered a stroke that left me without the use of my left side. With help and determination I regained the use of my left side. Moving from the small rental in 2016, to a 1987 double wide mobile home (yes, it’s old). We wanted something we could eventually own. Not expensive and being a fixer-upper, and we needed more room for her mother who was in end stage COPD. We have worked hard on this place. In 4 years we had it paid off. The trailer, which is in a trailer park that is not our idea of heaven. We were doing okay. In 2016, we managed to replace our 18-year-old Dodge Durango, with a 2014 Dodge Avenger.

Then in August 2017 I suffered a massive heart attack. Medical bills kept us from continuing repairs to the trailer. It seems like you fix one thing, and two more break. The hope of repairs and roofing have died. Since the heart attack, I am not able to do the physical work needed.

2019 We had to let the Car go back to the bank, and we filed bankruptcy, and we are paying towards our debts (mostly medical). A nice private individual person locally, sold us a 2001 Toyota on payments. It has to have work from time to time, but it is paid for as of this month. We are thankful for that.

You would think, that with no rent, and no car payment (except insurance) Things would smooth out. But just a busted pipe in a wall last year (old piping that I had wanted to replace) resulted in a $200 water bill, and the water company is not sympathetic to accidents. Then each time there is a leak from the ancient roof, I have to pay someone to patch it.

I have watched the woman I love, in bed crying with a toothache so severe that the roof of her mouth swelled with infection, but dental insurance as most know, is beyond reach of people on limited income. I turned 68 last month, and I really don’t want to leave this world knowing I couldn’t do better for her.

February saw the passing of her mother.

I would never have dreamed I would ask for help, but I have floors that are falling through where the roof has leaked and the wood is failing. The final straw, was awakening in the last storm, to water dripping on her side of the bed.

Our dream had been to fix up this place, move it to an acre or so in the country, or sell it and get another place. I’m no longer able to keep it repaired even.  I’ve got to somehow get us out of here, and into a better place.
Thanks for listening, bless you all.

paypal.me/RWalker6954

Hello there and thank you for stopping by to read.

I will start out with my name is Hannah im 24 and have 4 children and my  brother just moved it with me due to my mothers abusive spouse. Im looking for some assistance in getting a down payment for a patch of land. We have been trying to build our credit to be approved for a loan but after I had to stop working due to lack of child care and helping my brother  move across three states money has been tight. My husband is the only one working full time. I realize that we could be in a worse position than we are which im thankful we are not. We have so much debt from previous relationships that we at this point without some help will not be able to move forward and have the space we need. Once we get established with some kind of living situation and my children are older I will be able to continue working and furthering my career. Im just starting to lose hope for the future of my children if something doesn’t budge. Thank you for taking the time to read

paypal.me/hippiemomma14589