Hello, my name is Jordyn, I’m 20 years old and here is my story and why I’m begging for help:
Its hard for me to find the right words to spill, as asking for help has always been something that’s been frowned upon inside my family growing up. so asking feels like accepting defeat. In the end I’ve lost my battle but i don’t want to lose the war.
I have PTSD, BPD, Depression, Autism, Anxiety, Bipolar and ADHD.
Its hard to find a job and hold one with these disabilities being a very large factor of my life. as well as my physical health being just as bad. with the situation I’m in, I’m very ready to just call it quits and give up permanently.
At the end of the day I’ve lost all hope. My whole life growing up I’ve been at the short end of the stick, years of abuse, innocence stolen, and love absent.
My mom did her best as a single mother to raise me the best she could. my father was never around and never supported me in any way shape or form, he fed me constant lies and empty promises and i always took everything he said so close to heart, believing every word he said, having full faith that he’d eventually come through. I thought that maybe if i just kept hoping, if i just believed in him a little more and a little longer, that maybe he’d change. But i was wrong. Every single time i was always wrong and I’d get my small heart shattered over and over again. But by the time i had reached about 12 years old, i finally realized my father never not once loved me the way he did his other kids. The love and support they gained from him pushed them through collage and school, he gave them money and endless support, love, care and attention. Something that was so incredibly foreign to me. I was forgotten about and left to rot as if i never meant anything more than a dirty penny on the streets.
As much as i love my mom, she wasn’t much better. She also suffered from years of abuse from her own father back when he was alive, beating her and her sisters and mother every chance he got, killed their pets and scarred them for life. My mother never healed from these things and now she’s practically turned into him. The constant screaming and yelling, the arguments that last hours, the threats and even assault I’ve been through with her. We’ve done it all to try and fix it too, extensive therapy, both family based and one on one but nothing has gotten better. recently we got into a massive argument which lead to my mother admitting to the fact she has never wanted to hurt or kill someone so bad in her life. During those moments i realized I’m no longer safe in my own home and that my own mom could no longer stand me being a part of her life.
in the end what I’m so desperately asking for: i know its a lot, but id like to silently ask for $50,000. I know its so much to ask for, i know its beyond what someone my age should have, but i want to LIVE not just survive. i want to find a nice home and just live for awhile, experience peace without the fear of it once again being stolen from me. I want to feel safe in my own home and not question if I’ll be alive the next day to see it.
Thank you, truly, to who ever has taken the time to not only read this hopefully, but to help me escape all I’ve known and reach for a better tomorrow.
My cashapp is – https://cash.app/$EdensGardenx
or just $EdensGardenx