Hello ladies and gentlemen,
I’m incredibly embarrassed and ashamed of my financial situation. I apologize for the novel:
I’m 26, have an almost 2 year old daughter, and a wonderful partner. I started out at 18 bouncing from college to college, incurring student loan debt along the way. I couldn’t decide what I wanted to do, became deeply depressed, and dropped out.
I spent my early 20’s racking up credit card debt, and having medical bills sent to collections.
By 23, I was depressed, broke, and saw no way out. My parents were kind enough to let me move in with them, where I worked full time, spent money on nothing but ramen and gas, and ended up paying off nearly all debt, except for my low, manageable student loan debt.
At 24 I met my now fiance. We got pregnant, and have an incredible little girl. I had gotten my credit score back up to a manageable level, and was even able to purchase a wonderful home that I finally felt I could be proud of. For once, I felt I could breathe.
My fiance had several financial issues with medical bills in collections, high interest, predatory loans, and very little understanding of how these things affect long term wealth/credit. I was aware of the debt, but figured we could work it down the same way I had done a year earlier.
While purchasing our house, I began spending more and more on my credit card – trying to get our home in decent condition (it was built in the 50’s so we had some upgrading to do). Slowly but surely, we started falling behind. Rather than ask family/friends for help, I started taking out the same online, quick fix, loans, every time telling myself I’d pay them off in full well before the interest got out of hand.
Well, as you can probably predict, I am now in massive debt. I’m 2 months behind on my mortgage, have 3 regular loans, my student loan, and 2 credit cards out (one of which thankfully has a balance of $0.00, but I won’t even consider touching that one at this point). I also have extreme medical debt because my insurance is next to none. My fiance has an additional 2 payday loans that cut into our debt.
I have worked since I was 15, full time since 19. My fiance has worked full time since he was 18. We eat food from Dollar Tree, we shop at thrift stores, I feel like we don’t live beyond our means in any way. The only exception to this is making sure we do absolutely anything and everything to provide for our daughter (and cats).
I want to have a savings account. I want to have an emergency fund. I recognize that my issues have come from spending money I didn’t have, and I understand that is my fault and no one else’s.
I just want a fresh start, and for this pit in my stomach gone so I can enjoy my life and not worry every second how we’re going to make it through the next day. I feel so guilty I can’t pay for these things, because I also understand people aren’t getting the money I owe them.
All in all, I’m probably about $15,000 in debt, but have no idea how to even begin while still paying for gas/food/diapers.
If and when I am able to get caught up, regardless of how it happens, I will pay it forward every single day.
Thank you for reading, have a wonderful day.