Well first things first, hello! My name is Rosalie (Ro for short), and I am struggling badly!
I know that this is something that a lot of people on this site say they struggle with, but I have diagnosed major depressive disorder (DSM V: 296.33, 300.02 / ICD 10 F33.2, F41.1) If you want any more information on it, this website does a really good job at explaining what major depressive disorder is like.
I want to emphasize my diagnosed illness with evidence and also provide information on it in case you didn’t know or were curious. Many people claim to be mentally ill, but there is actually only around 7-8% of people in the United States who struggle with major depressive disorder.
Anyways, enough about that. Let’s move on to why I am here asking for money from you guys.
Every single part of my life is collapsing.
– I can barely work my part time job- 15 hours a week is too much for me to handle.
-I can’t really eat. I’ve gone from 120lbs to 95lbs in the last year alone.
-I am extremely suicidal. The only reason I am still alive is because I would feel bad for making my mom sad. She deserves to not have her kid kill herself. I have been to the hospital for an attempt and spent a good amount of time in a psych ward right before Covid hit.
-I sleep way too much for someone my age. If I could, I would sleep all day. It takes a ridiculous amount of energy for me to get up and do normal things.
-I don’t get any joy out of living anymore. Everything is dull and boring and a waste of time that I unfortunately have a plethora of.
-I’m too sick to go to school. A normal 20 year old would be going to college and meeting new people, making friends, and learning every day. I tried college. I really did. Embarrassingly enough, I managed to fail all of my classes.
-I am financially as stable as a baby horse on ice skates. I have to pay rent for my apartment, electric, Wi-Fi, car insurance, my medications, AND save money for the future. I owe $500 for rent this month. I have $250 in my account (including savings). I have tried so many jobs. I’ve been a swim teacher, a barista, a janitor, a nanny, a fro-yo shop worker, an only fans account, and even a door dasher. These jobs are great for some people, but I always end up declining into a state of self-destruction when I’ve been there for a month or two. I just genuinely cannot hold a regular job to save my life. I am currently searching for something new to try, possibly becoming a writer, but I have now learned that I cannot work at a normal job. I shouldn’t have to cry before I go into work every day because I am so tired and fed up with it.
I am working towards a better tomorrow. I really am. I get myself out of bed and brush my teeth, no matter how much I don’t want to. I’m very lucky to have a roommate who keeps me afloat for the most part. All I’m asking for is a little bit of help with my rent. I cannot pay this month on my own and I really need the assistance.
If you could help me, I would genuinely appreciate it forever.