I’m writing on this site in hopes that one day someone will come along and help me. This, like all stories worth telling, is about a girl. I spent the better parts of my 20’s & 30’s being with someone who took advantage of my kindness, empathy & willingness to help others. She was going to school to get her degree, I was working full time and we talked about her going to school full time and I’d take care of the bills. Well, full time eventually turned into part time, turned into 1 class, turned into no school at all. In & out of school and changing majors over a number of years, I supported her during this time because I know what it’s like to change majors. I was an art major, communications major, journalism, maybe 1 more I can’t recall, that was in the early 00’s and I gave up school during that time to work full time and provide a stable environment for us to live in.
I tried talking to her, numerous times. Since she wasn’t going to school full time, or, not at all, I figured it would be a good time to get a part time job, maybe get her out of our tiny fishbowl apartment for a few hours a week, gain some perspective, Idk. She’d toil away in that tiny apartment, day after day, week after week, filled with anxiety about the future and eventually we both resented together.
It was in these years that I was also going to school and applying for the maximum amount of aid, every semester. I didn’t just need the money for school, I needed it to support us living together, her not working, and also her education. She couldn’t obtain loans anymore due to her poor attendance in school. This went on for a number of years, I’d take out loans I didn’t need to support a lifestyle for us both. We eventually resented each other so much and fell out of love with one another a few years ago and went our separate ways.
I got myself into this mess, I know what I did. I lied to her, and myself, by saying I could financially support her, when in fact I couldn’t. I borrowed the money, time and time again. She doesn’t owe me anything and I’ll never ask her for a cent. We went our separate ways and we never talk anymore; all those feelings are in the past. Unfortunately, I took out $85,000 in student loans and they’ve been accruing interest over the years because I can barely stay ahead anymore.
In summary, I took out multiple student loans to support a lifestyle between my partner and I, to keep her with me, because I couldn’t bear the thought of a life without her, and now that we’re not together anymore, I can’t believe I did any of it and I’m asking a kind stranger to help donate to my relief. I understand this request is not the most heartbreaking and it could even be categorized as a ‘first world’ problem, but it’s my own personal cross I’ve come to bear and everyone has their demons, this is mine.