Hi, maybe I’ll say a few words about myself first. I’m 20 years old, I live in Europe. I’m currently studying medical engineering and work part-time on medical transport. I also volunteer in an organisation which provides on-site medical aid during mostly religious events, but not only, we also secure many other public events.
Sadly I’ve been suffering from a few serious psychiatric disorders since I was around 14 or 15 years old, but no one paid enough attention to notice that I’m not just being a shy and bad kid. Even after I was diagnosed with panic anxiety disorder at 18 yo parents refused to believe that I can be sick (especially “in the head”).
At 19 years old I got into a relationship which was very great and made me happy… Only in the beginning. Soon my ex-girlfriend started exploiting my undiagnosed back then BPD, locking me in a vicious cycle of anxiety driven “love” towards her. She would often break down and accuse me of being in the wrong, even if she did something wrong, guilt-tripping me, she would say that she hates me and break up with me, only to say she didn’t mean it and loves me, after I had a mental breakdown – each and every time – it happened multiple times during the relationship. She used this mechanic to drain money from me – she made me so afraid that any “no” I would say to her would make her leave me, I would fullfil any of her expensive wishes right away.
This even landed me in the psych ward a year ago, where they started suspecting I might be suffering from a personality disorder. Even after being signed off, this continued for 4 months more. After I realised what a horrible trap I have fallen into, and with the help of my friends, I managed to break free. But in the meantime she managed to bankrupt me. If not for her, I’d already have the car of my dreams.
Around 7 months ago I met my current girlfriend who is very supportive, and I’m in therapy, have been properly diagnosed and being properly medicated. Sadly, around the same time I’ve suffered a back injury, which paralysed my legs in november/december last year, and even though I recovered from almost complete paralysis, I have been suffering pain and weakness from the waist down since. Worse, I’m currently in the diagnostic process for systemic autoimmune diseases that might also be attacking my nervous system.
And even now the cycle of misfortune doesn’t end. My parents have been in a conflict since I was a little child. I remember that long ago my father would even physically abuse my mother. As time passed those fights turned into mostly verbal stuff. But around a month ago, during another fight, my father destroyed my mothers tree in the backyard, and when I tried to fix it hoping it would recover, he came over and cut up all the branches. In revenge, my mom kicked his cat, and dad warned her that he would do the same to her. Even though there was no physical stuff between them, this stuff moved me so much, I stopped feeling safe in my own house. I told them I don’t want to stay there, and I’d like to move out and have their support atleast for my medication and some food, but they refused, calling me an ungrateful brat, bad kid, etc. etc. After I left the house taking my cat and my stuff, they even said they would place me back in the psych ward if I sued them for alimony.
So now I’m left struggling to make the ends meet, waiting for any progress in the alimony case, working as much as I can while also studying, but it’s not tragic yet, it’s hard, but I’m still managing somehow. And it might be weird that while I could be asking money for anything like food, housing, meds, etc., I’m asking for money to buy a car. But It’s because I’m managing – hardly, but I am – to cover my mandatory needs, and I always wanted a car. A used one, of course, manual, 6 gears in case I had to drive 100km again for an MRI because waiting times where I live are so long that they expect you to die before you get the MRI done. But 5 gears would be alright too – atleast I could easily drive to my little local community at the place which I grew up, which is why I also want a car so badly.
Ideally, my “dream” car would be around 6000 USD, but my “second dream” car would be around 3000 USD. But honestly? Any amount will help.
I know my story is quite pathetic, but it is what it is – I too would have done everything to avoid ending like this if I knew what was to come. So please, if 100 people would donate 60 USD – you’d make my wish come true – I know it’s easy asking for money, but they say that good deeds return to you. Maybe I will help you one day once I finish my studies?
Thank you for reading all that, and please – if you are willing to help, any amount is appreciated, and I will be very grateful for any generosity.
God bless you kind people.
paypal.me/kalor464