so first of all I’m not super sure how to verify the authenticity of my situation that I’m about to describe, so I’m hoping that a little good faith in the fact that everything I write will be 100% accurate will inspire a super kind Samaritan to share a little kindness with me :)
So about three years ago, very shortly after starting college, I started having these strange illogical experiences that were affecting my reality, like hallucinations or feeling strange nonexistent sensations on my body or thinking I had strange powers of all sorts. In the beginning stages, it was somewhat amusing, but as my condition progressed, these hallucinations and delusions started to become more severe, lucid, and traumatizing. Now because I’m schizoaffective, I frequently experience those aformentioned psychotic symptoms in addition to crippling depression.
I had always been sweet and bubbly and cheerful from childhood, and I guess it was the memory of who I once was in my younger years that caused my family to be in denial that I was suffering from anything that I didn’t just impose on myself due to lack of self-esteem or such. Honestly, that’s probably why my condition progressed to the severity it did, because we were all in denial and so I was reluctant to seek help.
Now that I’ve matured and taken the responsibility upon myself to manage my health, I’ve received good medications and therapy and feel so much better about life!! I haven’t had any suicidal idealizations or psychotic breaks in 13 months! (I’m very proud) The only issue now is that I’ve had to leave school because my healthcare costs have left me with no money for college or a place to live. I’m on my mom’s insurance and my big brother was kind enough to take me in his apartment but I’m sleeping on his couch haha. I have moral support from my family now which is a blessing, but neither they nor I have the funds to help me continue in school or have a place to live, as no one in my family has ever gone to college or has a high income.
I’m finally feeling optimistic about living life, and my dream is to finish school and make my family and myself proud. I was so close, I only have 2 semesters to complete and I’m praying that someone with a kind heart will see my journey and share my excitement with me about being so close to reaching my dreams despite having to recover existing in a world that resembled a scary acid trip through my schizoaffective eyes. I’m so close! I would be forever grateful for any amount of support.
God bless you, angels :)