I’m struggling with bills at the moment. I have never asked for help, especially from strangers, so this isn’t easy to write.
I’m 33 years old and I’ve worked all my life, going from a small paper round from the age of 14 to working for the NHS since the age of 16. I got into some debt when I first moved from home into my own place and I’ve never recovered from it. Debt it all I know. Living in my overdraft and I don’t see a way out from it. I have two children ages 9 and 6 which I’ve never taken away on holiday properly, the only time I’ve been able to take them is if the holiday was paid for by someone else (mother). I feel like I’m failing as a father and as a partner, and it’s such a strain on my life because I know if I could pay my debts off then I could give myself and my kids a fresh start in life where I can actually do things with them. I have a big loan which I am paying off, very slowly, also two overdrafts with are impost to get out of. I have not long managed to get out of using payday loans and other dodgey loan services but I feel that I will be heading down that road again if I can’t get any sort of help. The bank have refused me when I’ve asked to consolidate my existing loan and overdraft and I’m at a lost end right now. I’ve gone through all sorts of different money schemes online which I thought might help but there’s hardly any value in some of them, offering me £5 for almost a days ‘work’. We are now coming to the end of the summer holidays as I write this and I’ve been able to take my kids to places which are free, which don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with it but I’ve not been able to take them anywhere where they can actually do fun activities.. it’s always the park, and by the river. It’s nice but I can see they want more. I get paid £1500 a month and just over £1100 of that goes on my bills including my debt. The rest goes on food for my partner, me and the kids, travel expenses and other shopping. Being in a full time job I work crazy 12 hours including nightshifts so it’s difficult to plan ahead with meals. The kids and I very rarely eat the same. I try to meal prep as much as I can to save money but it seems like the more I try the harder it gets. Summers almost over and now I have to buy the uniform, and I just don’t know where the money is going to come from. If anyone even reads this then that’s great. It feels good to be able to write this out, almost as if a small weight has been lifted, or a first step in the right direction. I don’t know how it will go from here but I do know I will not stop working for my kids. Thank you for listening to me