<span;>so.. I am not sure how to start this due to the fact that I have always been that person to never ask for help never rely on anyone else.. I like everyone wanted to make someone proud and break the long chain of disappointment that seems to shadow my families… but after falling harder than I had ever thought I would and being less than to everyone like we all never imagined I have been humbled in many ways and one being knowing when to ask for help. I grew up in a tiny town far north in the woods where everyone thinks they know everything but really no one ever really knows.. I am the youngest child of 4 and I since the age of 8 have been doing nothing but raising everyone’s children therfore not really having a childhood myself..I came from way down south but moved here at the age of 3 Nad never really left or got to experience anything. I struggled with school due to probably adhd and dyslexia probably compliments of being born on meth and whatever else and have known nothing but struggle since entering this world. As a baby it all seemed normal until it was noticed that there was something off and not right about my appearance. My head was growing wrong due to my soft spot being fused closed to soon so I could see my forehead and the backbof my head touched my back… at 18 months old I would receive a surgery to reshape my entire head with was successful enough but soon afterwards had to receive ear tubes to open my earways because they were swollen closed and I was beating my head on everything due to the fact that all I heard was white noise and it was making me go crazy… now that’s a rough start and seemingly enough to last a life time in my eyes but someone else had different plans for me and apparently is curious to how much I can take.. my childhood was just as messed up as the next. I had two parents that were addicted to drugs and alcohol and loved to abuse the other and even though we managed and there were great times the bad seemed to always out weigh the good.. there was never comfort in knowing where I would be sleeping who I would be with but the guarantee that I would be hearing the screaming and the sheriff wouldn’t be far behind.. at 2 I was taken from my babysitters home by cps and gotten back somehow very quickly with my mom’s aunt’s help.. this lifestyle went on… dad show up whenever maybe for a day maybe a week gone for what seemed a life time in-between. He worked down south we stayed here with my mom.. she would drink party fo whatever and whoever and when he was home they would fight he would leave and it went on and on. He had always told me he wasn’t ever going to return but he always did until one day he didn’t… I was ten the year he never returned… apparently no one could tell me where he was if he was even alive I was devastated.. naturally I was a daddy girl and he was so sweet with us girls and my mom was such a mean drunk and unhappy in general which made her very unpleasant which i now understand and don’t blame her… but about 2 years later she quit drinking and started going to school for nursing which she kept on doing.. she worked grave yard shift which was hard on not only her but the 3 girls and 1 boy when he wasn’t in jail left to raise one another at home. I am the youngest so naturally I am the burden my siblings are 12, 6 and 5 years older than I. They all followed the life of our parents the oldest my brother having it the worst the longest due to he wasn’t our father’s son so he was abused for his entire life until 12 when my mom couldn’t handle him anymore and gave him up as a ward of the state growing up in juvenile hall and the rest of his life in and out of jail and mental wards.. with 4 children by 3 different women.. then the oldest girl who had a great chance due to she was great in school even got an scholarship to become a writer anywhere in the state of California but quickly threw that away to become pregnant and in an abusive relationship… then there was the middle girl she has always been the nurturing one not so good in school not really street savy she never left mom’s house she was like the teachers pet so to say… but when she did she ended up being swooped up by some guy that quickly ruined her as well.  So all that was left was me I left home before 18 really I had been on my own always it seemed I started working legally at 14 and had always been hustling money well before then doing any work I could. I was the last hope in my mom’s eyes of her not being a failure… all until about 4 years ago. I had two management positions I worked 7 12 hour days I ended up having my first baby Nad found out I have na extremely rarest of the rare blood problem that affects my baby’s in uturo… I have two daughters, a step daughter and a step son which although I raised over 8 children from the age of 8 has been a struggle I imagine it’s from the fact that the day I got to experience a life that was fun and free its what I had been longing for. I love my children all 4 and I wouldn’t trade them for the world but unfortunately somehow I feel into the pattern of my past… I went from the stand out roll model working mother whom managed two businesses and did everything on her own as well as helping everyone with anything… to the front page news and the TV and having my youngest taken in the process she was only 4 months old… it’s shameful to say I feel into drugs after I had her my other half had already been deep in them bad little to my knowledge he had stolen from someone’s home and gotten caught… in the process I was guilty by association even though I had no clue I was completely blind sided and torn down down shamed and in. Asmall town you don’t come back from that. We now have gone through all the process of getting our child back and being the first couple to do so successfully in over 20 years got clean and still live with the debt of a huge mistake that we pay for in more than one way. We are now labeled as tweekers theives and it’s hard to get a job or even to just live any kind of normal life… we are in debt over 60,000 dollars and even though we have payed with out dignity and so much more now we suffer our relationship suffers and worst of all our children suffer because of the weakness of living the only life I have ever known because of being tired of being the pillar to hold the weight of everything. Please find it in your heart to help us to be a helping pillar and so that we can give our children a chance to know a happy family and better  life than we knew. There is so much I have left out so much pain and suffering. I hate to ask for help I usually don’t receive it even when I do but I have no one to ask and nothing so what more can I lose by doing so. I’m grateful for your time to read this sob story even if you don’t or can’t extend a helping hand.. I appreciate you.  My pay pal link

paypal.me/leannavarao

Hello, I write this with a heavy heart. I hope anyone who reads this will help all they can or at least pass on my families story. We just moved to Nevada in May of 2022. I helped my elderly Veteran Grandmother buy a house. She had considerable debt due to some shady family members stealing from her and ruining her credit. My mother and I helped her sell her money pit house and we all got an apartment together. In about three years we were able to help her pay off her debts to qualify for her V.A Loan. It was really hard work and a ton of paperwork to go through. After paying all her bills off she only had enough money every month to pay the rent and other bills. So I stepped in and paid for all her closing costs and other associated fees. This was almost eight thousand dollars. Also I paid for all of our moving fees and moved everything with almost no help with an additional cost of almost four thousand dollars. This was my life savings so my family could finally live in a house and have room for everyone. Now this seems to be the American dream and your probably wondering why we would need help. Here’s the reason. My Grandmother needed 24 hour care and my mother and I took care of her. Before we left California she was doing really well. My Grandmother was just about blind and couldn’t walk. We helped her with everything. However, it was always her dream to own another house. She was really excited to finally have that dream realized. Now a little more back story. We were promised that the house would be clean and everything in working order with no pests noted. We have all the paperwork to prove just that. However, when we finally got to our new house, that was not the case. We had a blacklight to check how clean it was and it wasn’t. The walls all had the fluorescent signs of blood, bodily fluids and other unsavory fluids. We were floored. Every surface showed the same signs. The kitchen stove was covered in in. It was horrible. We also discovered that the previous owner also left all there junk behind and it was a nightmare to get rid of. There was also a serious mouse infestation and there were droppings in every enclosed space. We were so afraid of us all getting sick. I actually did get sick for three days and couldn’t function at all. I also need to mention that I have two boys under the age of ten. Please put yourself in my shoes. How can anyone cope with such things? Needless to say I had to keep going for my family was depending on me. This actually wasn’t the worst of it. By the time I had dealt with all of these issues and overcoming sickness and taking care of my family at the same time. We had realized that it was starting to heat up in the middle of May. When we got to the house it was relatively cool and windy. That changed and when it did I did what everyone does. But some filters and clean the vents and turn on the A/C. Only, when I turned it on, nothing happened! It didn’t work. Maybe anywhere else it’s not that big of a deal, but we had bought this house with the understanding that everything was in working order. It quickly heated up from there on out. While we were waiting for the report on the repairs, it was discovered that my Grandmother was suffering from dehydration due to the increased heat. I was scared how she wasn’t responding and called an ambulance. She had to be hospitalized. In the meantime I kept working on her house, because that’s what she would have wanted. We wanted everything to be good when she came back. My mom made sure she was getting good care and drove back and forth several times. She was doing well, eating and drinking fluids just fine. Now, back to the house. I need to mention that the A/C had to work in order for my Grandmother to even purchase the house. It was contingent upon that and we discovered through the company that came out that it had a wiring problem and was in no way going to work in that condition. It had to be replaced. This house was over $300,000 and everything was supposed to be functional and in clean move in ready condition. This isn’t even everything that was wrong. Now to why we really need help. My Grandmother came back home and we got her settled in her new hospital bed and made sure she had everything that she needed. However, the hospital had put her in Hospice Care and didn’t expect her to survive for long. We were all devastated when waiting for the parts to come in to replace the A/C unit, my Grandmother passed away unexpectedly. Due to her dehydrated status and it being too hot because the air didn’t work like it was promised by the realtor that it had been repaired. My Grandmother is gone. It cost $1300 to have her cremated. My mother and I have some funds available, but it is not enough to cover the mortgage. I have already applied for ten jobs out here and I’m going to apply for more. If we can’t get the mortgage paid soon, the Mortgage company will start foreclosure proceedings soon. I have my two kids to provide for and I’m afraid we will be homeless in this deadly heat. I cannot afford to replace the A/C. I cannot afford the mortgage. I’m really scared that me and the rest of my family will end up dead on the streets cause as I write this June 28th 2022. It is 106 degrees outside and 100 degrees in the house. We don’t have anywhere else to go. Please help us. I’m also going to start a GoFundMe page. We don’t have any trust worthy family or friends out here. We are all on our own. Please help my kids keep a roof over there heads. Please help my family stay alive. Everything that is written here has happened and I hope you can find it in your hearts to truly help us or talk to your friends and family that can. I’m not asking for our life to be fixed, just please help us get on our feet so I can keep doing all the work my family needs me to do. Thank you. God bless you all.

Over the last six years our family has suffered quite a bit financially.  Starting with Our son who was born prematurely and has endured lung difficulty since birth. He is chronically sick with Pneumonia, Rsv and respiratory issues.  He is hospitalized at least once if not twice a year usually lasting 10-14 days. Which in turn causes issue with working and care for our other children. I do side freelance work when I can due to the demanding schedule of having children and not being able to afford daycare for our littles who are not in school. Also my mother in  law who has dementia is part of our daily routine to help her as much as possible.  We are facing foreclosure as well.

My husband has worked his behind off as a delivery driver, picking up extra shifts, late nights and once the pandemic came, they cut his hours, then started giving overtime again, then cut them again but the truth is, bills just kept pilling up. One after the other. We are a large family. There are 7 children under 18, plus myself and husband.  We are at a stage where we are going every route possible to make ends meet. He has a new job as a cleaner for a school district, on a waiting list for a full time position. He is part time now with full time hours but they do not pay well until he is made full time which will not be until November or December 2022. He would give his shirt off his back to help someone in need.

We ae facing repossession on our car ( we are a one car family due to tying to save  money anywhere we can). We are up for termination on our utilities and although we have applied for state aid, it takes time, paperwork and the utility company does not care. We are doing the best we can but have fallen behind and it has come to a point where we have zero family help and are in need of a miracle. The good thing is that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It is just a matter of getting there.

Our son is on a c-pap machine, which is not considered a life saving necessity so our utility company will not work with us. Payment plans they have offered are not realistic. If I had $8,000.00 I would not have been unable to make payments. I also would have paid it off. So giving me 24-48 hours to get that amount is no where near doable.

This is affecting everyday life at this point. I worry when and where they will take our car, I worry when they shut our electric off what do I do for our kids. I’ve tried making payment arrangements, requesting it be added to the end of the loan this way it gives us a month or two to come up with the money. But, no help is coming.

I am discouraged, my husband is way over worked and underpaid. We are just getting by with food for the kids and I am just mentally stressed and exhausted.

Any kind of help would go a long way with the bills and I would be grateful beyond measure. I believe wholeheartedly in paying it forward and anytime I’ve had the opportunity that is exactly what I do. We have never asked for help. Worked multiple jobs at a time to do what needs to be done, but after this pandemic, medical issues, and family that has and still needs help, we just don’t know where to turn to.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I wish you all the best, god bless.

https://paypal.me/billhelpme?country.x=US&locale.x=en_US

I am 43 y/o divorced after 17 ½ years of marriage and in a shitstorm of debt and I don’t know what to do. I filed for CH13 bankruptcy on Fri, but it seems selling the house is my only option. I know how I ended up here and I am not proud of my situation. My opinion is this could’ve all been avoided had there been accessible counseling for lower income families – specifically, sexual abuse.

I have trauma in my past, multiple sexual abuse. I am not a victim nor do I have a victim mentality; however, the unprocessed trauma did manifest itself in many negative ways and for many years I had the victim mentality.

I was sexually abused as a very young child. I didn’t talk about it and I wasn’t questioned. The first introduction to alcohol, it immediately numbed and detached me, even for a moment, from the negative feelings and behaviors attached to trauma. Alcohol became my companion, my shoulder to cry on…I became dependent.

You can only imagine what happened with my first experience of attention from a male. With the past unspoken sexual abuse + alcohol + hormones…I went through many difficult experiences to include rape. I had a child at a young age, age of 21. That pregnancy was not easy – I was forced, taken against my will to an abortion clinic for an abortion. I was able to pay them off, lie to him and I now have my 22 y/o daughter. My daughter saved my life. Had it not been for her, I would’ve continued down the same path and God only knows if I would be alive today. She gave me the will and discipline to progress. I enrolled in a university and earned my Bachelors degree in Human Resources and Management.

I married and began to talk about my traumas. In my marriage my traumas were thrown back at me and, in knowing what I know now, that was a huge red flag. The marriage got progressively worse were I was told how to commit suicide, many many times – its called “bullying to suicide.” I knew we were not good for each other, we enabled each other and our lifestyle put my life at risk. In 2010 I flat-lined/coded blue during a surgery and I was in ICU for a week, needed a full transfusion and resulted with a hysterectomy. Until recently I was honest in saying I was in that medical predicament because of my drinking. He encouraged me to drink till the end, took me to my favorite restaurants and ensured the alcohol flow. In the end, the decision was mine, but in fairness to myself and my healing, I was grossly being manipulated, guided, used and abused.

Not everything about my marriage was/is bad. I now have a 14 y/o daughter who is beautiful and hilarious. She is pure heart and has made over 50 pairs of earings in her attempt to help me get out of debt…the pureness of a child.

During the onset of COVID, I found my worth, I began to put myself 1st and that rattled people, to include my ex. I spoke about sobriety, as I did thousands of other times, but this time…I acted on my words and began to cut down on my drinking. I put an end to the verbal abuse and demands. An act that “broke the camels back” and my new found self worth gave me the strength to ask him to leave and told him our marriage was over.

Now I understand why a cool period is recommended. I allowed him to file for divorce because his family perception meant a lot to him. I went through a phase of “I will do right by God, give him what he wants, God will repay me tenfold” forgiveness type of mindframe and got royally screwed in the divorce. He kept everything paid for, I kept everything owed for, w/ half the income I simply let my pride get the best of me didn’t ask for help and now I feel it may be too late because God hasn’t “paid anything tenfold.” Not rhat I actually was dependent on that, but for some reason did beleive good things would come my way.

Moving forward to the present, I am stuck. In the marriage I put him first: I completed his online degree for him. I wrote all his Army REB’s when we was in trouble and I was able to get him out on a normal ETS rather than a chapter through my documentation. Through the education I completed for him, the resume I created, the USAJOBS account I created, I was able to obtain him Federal employment. In that employment, through my documentation and packet completion, I was able to get him medically retired…other than physically being seen by the doctors, I did the leg work. Exact same situation with his VA benefits. Here I am, stuck, stagnant unable to do any form of self progression because now I can’t afford it and I am in debt past and beyond my eyeballs. I feels used and extremely stupid, but that gets me nothing and nowhere.

I am now sober with no desire to ever drink again. I have a new found spirituality and I continue to digest those past traumas. I feel lost and don’t even know how I came across this. I am not asking for handouts. I am asking for remote employment, guidance, advice…I am desperate, but still have my dignity, moral and ethical cognition; therefore, onlyfans is not at option for me yet (I try to find humor).

I am employed in the mental health industry. I was placed in this department without the proper education or degree. That added to the alcoholism, depression, anxiety and insomnia. I still suffer from all of that, but now it’s more of a detachment and numbness…I just learned to cope. I do the job of licensed social workers and psychologist for minimal pay. My city is not known for well paying jobs. I am willing to work weekends and evenings.

My past characteristics were all associated to an adult with unresolved traumas. I am asking for another chance, God knows I’ve learned my lessons. Selling this house was my last option as displacing my daughters was my last resort, but new beginnings are welcome. I am no longer a people pleaser. I am aware and free of my past.

Again, I work in mental health and can do remote life coaching or can work many other remote jobs. If you have employment, guidance, suggestions and or even a quarter to spare, I pray this reaches 1 person that may lead me.

With full sincerity,

Ana J

Paypal: @OPnC915

Opnc915@gmail.com