Hi. I’m sorry to ask for help this way, however everywhere I have turned has been a dead end, mostly due to covid, so many good folks need help,  but I’m not sure what else to do so this is my last hope. 5 years ago, my 5 kids and me was offered an opportunity by a good friend of many years, of home ownership. She got engaged and was moving to Texas, but didn’t want to leave us behind. We lived in Iowa. He purchased a large area of land with 2 homes, 1 for them the other for us. As long as I paid my own bills and helped upkeep the land the home was mine to do as we pleased. So we agreed, and was excited about starting a new life. Everything started great. It was lonely cause we have no family or friends near, but we was happy. My kids did great in their new schools, within the first 3 months I became a CNA. After hurricane Harvey, my friends husband changed. He started demanding rent, and would not fix anything. I paid him, not what he wanted but I was also fixing everything. My work hours started getting longer trying to keep up. I worked 2pm-6am almost everyday. This went on until January 2020. February is when things really got horrible. And I apologize for leaving a lot of details out, but everything that happened is alot so I’m trying to speak on the main parts which choosing which main parts to speak on has been a nightmare in itself. February I found out that my friends 16 year old son was holding my daughter’s down, and molesting them. And it gets worse. Literally the next day, I find out that my friends husband has been molesting my son’s and 1 of their friends, but also raping 1 of my son’s repeatedly over a course of 2 years. I can’t begin to describe what I felt, and I couldn’t imagine how they felt. We reported right away. We had a appointment with investigators and CPS a week in a half out, which was in march. Which was when covid started hitting as well and that didn’t help at all. I had to find a place to live, I had no vehicle. I sent my kids to stay with their friend, me as well. We ended up losing everything we had. Come to find out, this man had been to prison years before due to the same issue. And was a registered offender, which I never knew that.  July of 2020, my oldest son turned 16, found a job and helped me get us a place. Crime victims comp provided little help which I am grateful for everything they did, but we lost so much more, and borrowing left me in debts I’m still trying to take care of. I am limited income due to health issues, I have a dehabilitating disability that left me with extreme nerve damage thru my body, and more recently adding failing kidneys to the list. My recent gfr was 53. But the past few months after multiple surgeries I’m doing better. However, I can’t keep up with anything. Last month our electric was shut off for a week. My truck ( our only transportation) needs work badly, as of right now we are using shampoo for soap cause that’s all we got, haven’t had toilet paper. I’m struggling to provide basic necessities and it’s humiliating, now here’s Christmas and I have nothing for my kids who really deserve to have something. I mean they sacrifice so much because I can’t keep up right now and they understand, but it’s eating me. I’ve applied for places to help, but nothing has come thru. Everything I had of value which really wasn’t much, I sold. With that money I got things we really needed, laundry soap, my daughter some underwear, shower items, stuff like that. And now thanks to my alternator going out and taking my battery with it, I’m overdrafted. I don’t know what else to do. I’m defeated, or so it feels. I won’t post the case number  publicly due to that exploiting my kids, and also we have safety measurements in place from the attorney general, but if verification is needed I can provide proof of everything. And I absolutely appreciate you even if you just read this, it means a lot. If by chance anyone can help me my info is

https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/my/profile

Thank you so much

Hi.  My name is Victoria Pickel.  I go by Vikki.  I just turned 51 last week.

My life got turned upside down in April of 2020.  I ended up in the hospital and not exactly sure what happened.  I lost alot of IQ points.  Things that used to be easy are very hard for me to figure out now.

My life history first.  I learned quick not to depend on anyone.  I started working at 15 while in high school.  My parents were divorced and had their own problems.  I lived with my dad and was definitely a “daddy’s girl”.  He was an alcoholic.  He suffered a bad stroke when I was very young and was unable to work.  He passed away 20 years ago and it still hurts.  My mom was an alcoholic, bipolar and had to have a man to take care of her.  Her boyfriend raped me when I was 12.  Mom blamed me and suggested I sleep with knife under my pillow to protect myself.  I did that until I was in my 30s.  My upbringing gave me low self esteem and I chose horrible men to be with.  My first husband hit me alot and made my self esteem much worse.  I stayed much longer than I should have because of my kids.  I eventually left him.  Several years later, I ended up with a worse husband than before.  He scammed me into marriage even though he had no feelings for me.  He was a convicted pedophile that had already served 10 years in prison.  He said he was wrongfully accused and I believed him.  Several years later, I was updating his phone and found disgusting videos.  I should have reported these videos and sent him back to prison.  Instead I deleted the videos and lied to myself.  You are welcome to look him up, Buddy Allen Pickel of Bristol, Tennessee.

Back to April of 2020.  I took alot of Benadryl.  I loved someone that was really mean to me.  I wanted to go to sleep and never wake up.  I woke up at the hospital.  I did die and CPR was performed for 36 minutes.  I think that’s what happened to my missing IQ points.  I had to quit my job.  I was night auditor at a hotel and couldn’t do my job anymore, especially dealing with the public or anyone in a uneasy situation.  It causes major panic attack, any confrontational situation does.  I had to let people be mean or take advantage because of this.  I applied for social security disability as I worked my entire life and had the credits required.  They sent me to 2 doctors.  The first one said I had no short term memory.  The 2nd doctor asked me to walk heel-to-toe for 5 steps.  He had to grab my arm to keep me from falling.  But I was still denied for disability.  I appealed and was denied again.  Not enough medical evidence.  I don’t have insurance or the money to go to the doctor.  I appealed and requested a hearing.  They will give me 75 day notice of my hearing.  I don’t understand the lengthy process of social security disability.  They know a person can’t work but they take their time.

I’m living in my car with my small dog.  Local shelters do not accept pets.  My dog is all I have.  I just can’t do this anymore.  I need to sleep in a bed and stretch out.  My legs have really been hurting alot.  I would give anything to take a shower and have a toliet nearby.  The weather is getting colder.  I don’t know how much more I can take.  My storage unit is past due and will be auctioned if I can’t pay soon.  Any money I get will pay that storage unit and will rent me and dog a home.  Hopefully will pay bills until I can be approved for social security.  I also make jewelry to sell but hard to do living in a car.

I’ve been having really sad thoughts lately and starting to worry about them.  I promised myself that I wouldn’t hurt myself again.  It’s so hard living like this.  I just want to feel like I’m a normal person and not scum of the earth.  I know what it’s like to have no one.  I known that for far too long.

I am a forty year old man from Missouri. I’ll start my story in September of 2019.

I was nearing the end of a twenty tear battle with alcohol. The job that I had held for nine years was, for the first time, in jeopardy.  I was drinking my breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I drank alone and blacked out every night.  Somehow, in these times, which I have no recollection of, I reached out for help. I woke up one evening and checked my phone and I had called 911 five times. I don’t know how, but one of those calls for help was to my Brother who lives in Florida. He is a Police Officer in Florida. He is married with two boys ages 9 and 6. (6 and 3 in 2019). He dropped everything, took time off his job, and drove 13 hours to Missouri to bring me to Florida. We didn’t have a plan, all we knew is that I needed to get out of the situation I was in ( my grandparents basement) and get help.  I agreed, because for the first time in my life I felt like the alcohol was actually killing me.
I stayed with my Brother detoxing while he found me a treatment facility. He found a place 30 minutes away and I was off for 60 days of in patient treatment.  I was extremely nervous but I knew it was what I had to do to save my life. I finally, after countless attempts, decided that I was ready to accept help, and take responsibility for my actions.

My experience in treatment at the Road to Recovery facility in Pensacola, Florida was a perfect fit for me. I was put into an environment full of men from all different races and backgrounds. They showed that it’s never too late, and you’re never too far gone to get help, all you need is the desire to change your life.  Everything that I learned and went through in treatment is a whole story just by itself, but let me just say, that without the team, and other residents at Road to Recovery, I would not be alive today. I am deeply grateful for every single one of them.

I graduated from the program on December 17, 2019. 8 days later I receive a call from my Mother that my Uncle Eric, who was a mentally challenged 51 year old, was in the ICU on life support. He went in to the hospital for severe constipation, and ended up, somehow, have a pulmonary embolism. I flew out the next day, but his brain function was unable to be retrieved, and we held his hand for three days before he passed on. I guess he wanted to spend a little more time with us.

Then, as we all know, 2020 happened. I was in a new place, newly sober for the first time in my adult life. I handled everything well, except for the all important job thing. I did my share to help my Brother around the house and with the kids so I could at least contribute something.  Finally, in October, I found a job at a local bait and tackle shop.  It was perfect for me.  I have loved fishing ever since I saw my first puddle. A lot of people said I shouldn’t get a job because the government was paying people more in unemployment then if you actually had a job, but I couldn’t stand just sitting around the house anymore. So I happily took the job for $10/ hour and a 30% discount on everything in the store. I was like a kid in toys r us.

I was working there in the beginning of 2021 when I met a guy who owned a local kayak business. We became friends because I would buy fishing lures and pick his brain about saltwater fishing. After a few months he asked me if I would like to work with him. He would teach me the ins and outs and all of the secrets to saltwater kayak fishing in the Pensacola area. I cut my hours at the tackle shop and started working with him.  We fished and he taught me about his 3d printed aftermarket kayak parts. I helped in the parts business, but the best part was, after I went on countless trips with him and clients, I got to take over the charter side of the business. I got to take people kayak fishing! For money.  I thought that I had found my dream job, because I enjoyed every single moment of it.

Also in February of 2021 my grandmother lost her battle with Parkinson’s. In 2018 I lost my brother to a fentanyl overdose. I lost my other grandmother in 2020. I only mention all of this loss because I am proud of myself for staying sober throughout.

As mentioned above, everything was going great. I found an awesome job, and I finally felt like I belonged somewhere in the world. Christmas 2021 I was planning on visiting my parents back in Missouri. My Dad was sick, but I wasn’t worried. I just thought, “He’ll be fine in a few days.”  Well the day before my flight my Mom called and said that my Dad was having trouble breathing and they were going to go to the hospital. Once again, I wasn’t worried, to me my Dad was invincible, even against Covid. This all could be a lot longer but it’s really difficult to type out.

He kept moving up levels in the hospital, continually getting worse for the first week. He couldn’t eat ( zero appetite), couldn’t speak because of the massive amounts of oxygen that he needed from the masks he was wearing. He could only text. He was alone. The WHOLE time. Zero visitors allowed. My father, who I saw as the toughest man in the world, was sobbing and scared over video chat as his condition kept declining.  I couldn’t bare to talk to him over video because I couldn’t control my emotions. But yet, I still believed he would be okay. I was wrong, they eventually said that he has to be put on a ventilator, and we all know those statistics.  We had no choice so we agreed. We also knew that it was a possibility so we asked the hospital to let us know if that had to put him on a ventilator and they agreed to let my Mom see him before they put him under. They lied. He texted my Mom and told her they were going to vent him, not the hospital. So I drove 90 mph tot the hospital that’s an hour away so my Mother could hold my Father and look at him and tell him how much we all love him. They almost vented him without her, she got about one minute of time with him. So terrible. Words cannot describe how mad I am, and always will be with that hospital. By the way, he was there for 20 days, alone, before seeing my mother for one minute, which ended up being the last. He was on the ent for two weeks, only one person allowed in the room at a time. My mother was with him primarily, but my Mom, Sister and I all got to hold his hand as he took his last breath. An image that will never leave my mind.

I have so much more to say but it’s just too difficult.  My Mom and Dad were set to retire together this summer. She did, he didn’t. I hastily decided to move in with my Mom because I couldn’t bare the thought of her being alone. They would have been able to visit me in Florida whenever they wanted. Now I’m lost, I’ve spent all of my money that I had saved. I’ve been fighting my depression mixed with intense grief all at the same time while maintaining my sobriety. I don’t want o go back to the restaurant industry because I believe that’s a toxic environment for someone in recovery. I just don’t know what to do.  I’m filled with so much guilt because I thought I was going to be able to make up for lost time with my father because of my alcoholism, and I’ve lost that chance. The guilt is holding me down along with my financial situation.  I would greatly appreciate any help.  I feel like I have a lot to offer this world, but I feel like I’m starting from square one again, and I don’t know which direction to travel.  He was holding the two necklace charms when he passed and I wear them everyday. The golf ball is his ashes. Thank you for taking the time to read my story.
https://paypal.me/JamieRosenburg?country.x=US&locale.x=en_US

Hello everyone. I’m not sure where to go with this. I’m swallowing a mountain of pride to ask people who don’t know me for help. As my title states.. I’m working full time to support my wife through college. When the pandemic started, she was working full time as a retail manager in a mall. By mid last year, the complete disrespect and overwhelming pressure put on her from management to hit unobtainable numbers brought forth by the money being spent from the stimulus package took a toll on her mental health. To the point of full blown anxiety attacks on the way to work. I had no idea how to handle this, so I suggested she quit and pursue something she actually wanted to do. So she decided to go to college to become an art teacher. Well, I didn’t get to prepare beforehand, so we suddenly lost about half of our income, and the bills stayed the same. Since she started school, to compensate, Ive been relying on credit cards and personal loans to keep up with our cost of living, cutting as much expense as I could in the meantime. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize how soon the interest and whatnot would come to haunt me. That quickly turned into an immense burden on me, and with no real raises coming in, my cash flow became negative. That turned into a massive depressive episode for me, which in turn almost destroyed our marriage. 4 months in to her being in college, I shut down. We grew distant. She went out with a supposed friend to a bar.. and he took advantage of her stress. I found out about it and lost control of my emotions. To cope, I opened a bunch of credit cards.. spent a bunch of money on myself, and have been carrying the debt since the beginning of the year. We’ve both been in therapy, thankfully covered by my insurance, and have moved on to a better frame of mind. Unfortunately the debt has stayed the same. I can’t take on another job, as I’m working full time already as a truck driver. Her untreated ADHD makes it extremely hard for her to be a full time student and work. Unfortunately our great medical system keeps giving her the run around. Some raises are on the way, but my cash flow is so close to negative, that any extra expense (i.e. car tags this month) will put me into the negative until I get paid. I don’t know what to do to get a head and pay this debt off. We have two car payments, which will be matured in another 13 months, which will greatly open up my ability to make more payments, but that’s 13 months. I’m really just at a loss. Anything would be a lifesaver at this point.

https://PayPal.me/droidexpress

I don’t know where to start. Everything is a mess lately. I owe everyone money and my paycheck barely covers existence.

I’m in debt ($7000) to multiple credit card companies which I’ve recently gone through a debt relief program for (which is insanely destroying my already shaky credit), my car financer ($350/month), both of my parents (my dad ($1500) because he helped me get my car back after a repo earlier this year and my mom ($2000) because she helped me pay off a 27% interest loan because I couldn’t afford it anymore), and $15/hr at a doctor’s office just doesn’t cut it. My medical bills killed any savings that I had and while I’m happy that I’m physically better, the mental impact of constantly trying to make ends meet is taking a huge toll. Job applications are not getting me anywhere, I’ve put in hundreds and had only three interviews in the last 7 months.

I have basically bald tires on my car that I can’t afford to replace (in Pennsylvania in winter), both my cats need to go get their shots, and to top off my random money needs, my baby sister is going to be getting married halfway across the country soon and I need someway to get there.

My boyfriend is doing everything he can to be there for me mentally/emotionally, but he’s not doing better financially. He’s facing a possible repossession himself, his car payment is insanely high and he’s been laid off of work because of the weather, he was in construction. Unemployment hasn’t sent him anything for the past few weeks and we’ve had to borrow money from his mom multiple times to cover bills. He does have a new job lined up but it’s like $5 less an hour and we still need to catch up on about 6-7 weeks of pay. He’s trying to sell the car and just have his older truck, but he owes too much ($42000) and no one is willing to give him enough for it to just break even. Can’t even try and coast til tax refunds come in because I never get more than $300 and his previous job didn’t deduct for taxes so it’s out of pocket (Last year it was like $2500). We’ve eaten through any savings for that purpose.

Literally anything that anyone can give will help. I never thought that I would get to this point, but I’m desperate and need to reach out to someone. My thoughts are getting dark and I don’t want to do something stupid that’ll hurt the people I care about. Neither of us can take the stress anymore. We’ve all but given up hope. Thank you so much just for sticking around, and thank you even more if you’re able to help.

If you can help, I have CashApp, Venmo, Zelle, and PayPal. I was asked to put my PayPal but I can provide other information if requested.

PayPal is https://www.paypal.me/anythinghelpsdeanna

Hi, I fell into a pit of anxiety and spent almost $5000 on credit. I got it through PayPal cause it was super easy, except I was buying Christmas presents, some groceries and gas, and stuff for myself which I thought I needed.

I’m currently working on selling stuff online as well as taking extra shifts at my work. I work in healthcare, however, I make 900 on each paycheck, and all my bills add up to $1000. Not including any misc items (car parts, tools), gas, or groceries.

I’ve got no savings. I really need some help with paying this off so I can get back up on my feet. This has been accumulated over about three months.

I can only do so many extra shifts. I can only save so much to spend on other things I need on the daily.

If someone could help me, I would be so grateful and will extend the favor to someone else in the future as well. I didn’t think I’d ever get this far in debt, but here I am.

paypal.me/anon980