Two in a half years my entire life was ripped apart at the very seams. I live in a place where I am judged for not being a certain religion, for keeping to myself and having my own opinions. The things the government in my county is allowed to get away with is beyond appalling and something must be done. I won’t tell you my husband was perfect or that we were the mother and father of the year, but I will tell you that we loved each other and we loved our children. In april of 2018 dcfs came to my home saying someone had called claiming we were on everything from heroin to meth. I let them in I told them I used marijuana. (I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder. Basically even if you can’t tell, everything makes me nervous in one way or another.) They wanted me and my husband to give them a drug test I agreed, but after we spoke to an attorny we decided not to. They had no evidence any of these aligations were true. We didn’t have criminal records, there was rarely company at our house. We were quite, kept to ourselves. Content I guess you could say in our own little world. My husband was my bestfriend, there was never a moment I questioned weather he loved me or doubted weather he’d be coming home. Both crazy at times and in our own ways but if you had asked me I would of told you everytime I knew he was my soulmate. We were the couple that really slow danced in the kitchen with no music, that fought but never for long. He could piss me off and make me laugh all at once. He was my fairytale, my once upon a time. He was my first kiss at 8 years old and I would be his last at barley 30. They claimed to have come by our home 3-4 times in the next month in ahalf, but I was home most of that time and never heard them at my door nor did they send any letters or leave any notes. A month in a half later though they would storm my home at 900 at night with a fully dressed task force and two state workers. They would go over my home with flashlights looking for drugs only to come up completely empty handed. I would be ripped from my children whom had never even spent a whole day without me. When I asked why I was told we didn’t do what they wanted. So that’s why at 930 at night (my husband was out with friends) I was deemed so dangerous (niether me or my husband were criminals or in trouble with the courts in anyway) that they needed a 6 person task force on top of two workers to raid my house and take my children. It turned out my husband had aquired a bit of a habit but still he didn’t deserve his end. None of us deserved this. I failed for marijuana and that only. My childrens doctor said there were no signs of abuse or neglect. The only thing they had on us was I have cystic acne which they called “meth” sores and my Charlee girl was sticky from breakfast. Those and the fact that as my husband would say “our window blankets ain’t fancy enough” That was enough for a woman to get a warrant for our children that made it sound like we had them locked in closets and weren’t feeding them. If we knew they were coming she believed our children would be put in harms way. That’s what she claimed anyway. There was never a warrant issued for drug testing or any of that just a month and a half later out of the blue there this woman was to steal my children. The last thing she said to me was I got what I came for. She wasn’t there because we were dangerous or because my children weren’t taken care of. She was there because we told her to bug off, she had no evidence. We were tortured with our children and theats of them being adopted out. My husband quit going to work, we lost our apartment, moved into a trailer not even fit for living really. He told them he wasn’t ok and aked for an impatient treatment they led him on then basically shut him down. On our oldests 2nd birth day he was put in jail for 30 days. On september 10th he would turn 30 and on september 24th he would no long be here. I woke up one morning and everything I knew and loved, everything I thought my life was and would be was gone. Sense that moment it seems I have been caught in a hell I can’t seem to escape. I did my best got my girls home not even a year after he died took a hit of pot and was told i could keep them until court but then they’d be placed for adoption. I ended up getting pregnant on accident by a super not nice guy and my usual mouthy self put up with it even let him scare me into giving him sole custody of our baby so she couldn’t be stolen to and so he didn’t have to deal with DCFS and a mess that wasn’t his. Well right after I put all my trust in him and did as he asked. He moved out told me I didn’t deserve my baby, got a no contact order because I threw a dish towel at him. Brought a fake ex to court to prove he wasn’t a violent guy. He sat next to me the day I signed away the last of my soul and told people awful things, how he’d forced me to give her to him and how hed basically moved in my house to set me up and steal my child. He said these things to people while he sat right next to me saying I love you. When I started catching on to who he really was he moved out, blamed me, kept my baby from me wouldn’t even send me a picture. I found out he wasn’t at all who he said. He has multiple felonies for drugs and he was charged with sex crimes. I found out he was(is) a heroin addict and had been talking to other women online the whole time I was pregnant and he was living in my house. He accused me of being the one with something to hide and turns out he was an entirely different person. It’s been almost a year sense then and during that time I watched the social worker from the beginning of my story put children back into an unsafe home where heroin was found with in reach for the benefit of the police and their “war” on drugs. I watched those children later be removed again by police after being left home alone. The baby had bloody blisters on its bottom. That woman still has rights to her children, yet my husband is dead and my children a memory I dare only to dream about. I jumped thier hoops I didn’t fall apart or go off and do crack in a corner. I found my husband hanging from my ceiling. I think i was entitled to at least a little mercy. I set my self up for that last doozy though, yep that was just my own foolishness. Wanting to believe in something or being to tired and in to much pain to think I could bare any more. I often hear “I don’t know how you do it” The thing is though I don’t know how not to. What am I supposed to do just lay down and die? Except that what is..is and just move on? I can’t and I won’t. A woman was issued and illegal warrant that violated my family’s civil rights and resulted in the death of my husband and destruction of my family. My husbands life was worth more than that. He may have had his issues but he was a good dad and a loving husband who did his best and never let us go without. My children deserve to know that they are my children and that they are loved. I’m weeks away from what I am sure will be one of the first of many court battles this one for my youngest and I’d like to be able to share my journey and hopefully help others escape the same fate. Attorney’s are expensive and unfortunately so time and its limited. If you’d be willing to donate anything to my cause I’d be more appreciative then you know. The way the government in my county has been allowed to operate not only in their family services division, but in nearly every department is a gross unjustice to the citizens and it can’t be allowed to continue. I will not shut up until something changes or until those in positions of power to misuse and abuse it are held accountable for the irreputable damage they have done to so many. So please be my saving grace and let me chase my rainbow and help me try to make the world a little better of a place.