So many are worse off than me. What makes me think it’s okay to do this, to ask for money now. I am a born again Christian (the kind that know I am here to love not judge others). Shouldn’t my faith let me know it will all work out? It always has… I’ve been in many tough spots, and I know I should have been dead a few times, so if course I believe the Lord will work things out. I have never understood why he would do that for me, but then again I have never believed anyone has truly loved me. It’s something I can’t believe.

I grew up very very blessed and had what I thought, what many thought was a wonderful, beautiful family, and it was in many ways. We even had our photos in the local paper which was The Louisville Times back then. That was the name of the daytime paper. The night time paper was The Courier Journal. We were in the paper with a story entitled The Model Family. It’s funny now… the story was about the fact that we all modeled at the time… my parents and my brother included.

As I grew that title took on a bit of irony.

My mother was “head strong” for her generation and my father was a real mans man who could charm all the women.

I idolized my Daddy… he taught me so many good things. Common sense, how to think for myself, how to put others before myself as Jesus taught us. I asked him anything and everything. He taught us all what would now be equivalent to music appreciation 101, and the same for art. My mother sang at the local radio station in Lexington starting at age 12 until her late teens.

We children inherited good genes in our looks, talent, and were taught how to behave in adult social settings beautifully at very young ages.

It was idyllic. It took its toll. My brother was born with beautiful very gentle soul. I have often said he could hear harmonies even the angels couldn’t here. I became a lounge singer and performed 5 hours a night 6 nights a week and often traveled on the 7th day. It was very very exciting! My brother however was also considered as being slow and his life was a struggle always. He and I were the closest in age being 14 months apart.

My father, being a manly man, having served in WWII, and having come from his generation believed his best course of action to toughen up my brother was to beat it into him. My brother became schizophrenic, and what was once called manic depressive.

Treatment of my brother by our father did not escape my sisters and me or my mother. In fact my parents fought loudly and constantly with my mother being slapped occasionally.

We are now all plagued with depression, anxiety, other various problems.

My parents stayed married till my father died. He died with his family around him, crying. I wailed my sister said. My world ended and the world became worse off as did my family, in my opinion.

My mother remarried at age 71 or 72. She was very happy, none of us liked him, but Momma was very happy. He was nothing like daddy, not handsome, not clever or smart.

I have considered myself as the middle child all my life. With 4 children let me explain. My older sister was special because she was the oldest, my brother special because he was the only boy, and my younger sister the baby, and the one Momma dotted on. My younger sister and I shared a room, Momma would spend minutes telling my sister good night telling her how precious and loved she was. Momma would then leave the room with no words or look towards me.

I was the one sent to breakup the fights between mom and dad only to be told by them that I was being overly dramatic. As the years went on I was the one my sisters would call when they were having problems, yet once I got off the road (at age 31), I found I was clearly not welcomed by my sisters. I had become a classless person some how. I was more of an embarrassment than anything with my out-going personality. I didn’t know how to dress, I had a tiny apartment (the first of my life at age 31!).

While on the road I married, twice. The first I married I think because he was so loved by my family. He just seemed to fit right in. As our time as a couple went on I was shocked to hear my husband scream at me Fuck you!!! Even daddy didn’t do that!

I remarried at about age 23 or 24. I was married in Fajardo Puerto Rico. I married a person from there. I won’t call him a man. No male is a man who does things to his wife as he did. Yes, he perpetuated the idea of Latin men who beat their wives. He would beat me then want to make love to me. I learned later in nursing school this is called emotional rape. He threatened to have me locked up in an insane asylum and told me no one would come and get me that I was too far away and no one would come that far. He threatened to kill me several times, is still remember. There is so much to remember.

When i found the courage to leave him I moved back to Louisville, and soo became entangled in a relationship with a married man. This seemed a likely place for me. I didn’t really deserve to have someone for myself. He promised for over 17 years to leave his wife any marry me. His wife finally left him. By then I had moved on to a man who would become my  current husband, and I pray the one who will be with me till the end of life.

I met my husband when I was 42. I had become an RN. He was unbelievably handsome, could dance, and as I observed him was kind to everyone. He was also modest as it took about a year before I understood just who he was and what he meant to the west end community of Louisville. My husband was a civil rights advocate, having worked with Dr.King. He became know as one of “The Black Six.” His activism for black folks was something I did and still do admire having grown up in a family who taught me that if someone is different from you that makes them one thing and one thing only….. interesting.

My mother objected to my involvement with him not because he was black, but because he had no money. I did and still do have the greater income between the two of us. At times in our relationship that has bothered me, but now as my husband leans closer to age 80 than 70 I see in him all of who he is. He is a man of character who still works out side the home as well as around the house. A man who gets down on his knees to pray daily. He is also human with demons of his own. When he drinks beer he becomes so intense about religion and politics. He becomes very cold towards me. Indeed we have not made love since being married over 15 years ago. So lives on my self loathing.

My life has not been all bad! Please know that! I have traveled in the USA a lot! I have experienced other cultures (yes including my husband’s). I have entertained and felt more at home on stage than anywhere. I helped my brother, in many ways I pray. I was there for my mother to see her through to her death from the one disease she always said she prayed she would never get… pancreatic cancer. I have given freely of myself and my possessions to the point that my financial situation is now what it is. Giving has always been a greater joy for me than it was for those who received I believe. I’ve been told so many times don’t do that! Don’t spend all your money on other people, don’t give away your treasures. That’s me, that’s what gives me joy! I can’t do it now.

The thing that is bringing me to my knees is all that has happened before. Isn’t that what always happens? All that has happened before…

I had a recurring nightmare from a very early age regularly. The sky is pure blue and beautiful, lovely perfect daisies start to fall from the sky so gently… then the feeling of doom comes the deep dark sick in my stomach… and it comes… the giant rolling pen that rolls over the daisies and crushes them all.

As I grew up the nightmares changed to someone trying to “get me”, trying to kill me. Trying to reach my husband but the phone never works. My sisters and my mother go to have fun but don’t want me around.

As I write now, the pressure in my chest increases. I think of all my sins. The sex I had with virtual strangers, the pills I took to relax, the Jezabel attitude I had. I know all my diagnoses Anxiety, Depression, PTSD, Paranoia. So many many other things I have done. Now wondering what will happen to me if my husband dies first? I know I won’t want to live… I will never go anywhere. I don’t want to go out now… though to meet me I am a very lively, outgoing… nice person!

My body is angry, now with Fibromyalgia,  high BP, Obese… surprise surprise.

I miss my mother, I keep waiting for love. It’s time to stop dreaming.

My financial situation. Well, let me say first I have never been one to want the biggest, the newest, or the best.

My dream would be to have my very modest home, my student loans, my credit card debt paid off.

Yes, I would love to have other nice things people (mostly women I guess) stay up and dream about at night… finishing my basement, having cars newer than 2005/2006. Go to a mom and pop motel near a beach in the winter. That would suit me so well… a mom and pop.

I know it’s not the worst, or the most moving. I ask because I am just so so very tired. I would love to not have to work and at age 64 I don’t see how I will ever be able to retire.

The tiredness is from the pain, physical and psychological. I want to join programs that encourage me to take my new puppy for a walk in the park. I love nature. I want to take art and sculpting. I want record my little songs I wrote… just for myself. I want the children’s book I wrote to be published. And when there is a disaster I want to go help. Right now I want to live to do these things. These things are worshiping God, in my opinion. To look at all he has given us and admire it. To go to those who need help. To touch the lives of others. To take care of me, and …. I don’t know what else.

This is a long story, but I’ll do my best to shorten it.

I’ve known my now ex-boyfriend for 7 years now. I’m from Texas, he’s from Ohio. We met when I went to Ohio on a family trip (I was 15), and kept an online friendship after I went back home. We didn’t meet again in person until I was 19, and by then we had developed an online relationship. I was so sure that we were in love and he seemed perfect, so he convinced me to bring him back to Texas with me so we could be together ‘forever’. He forced me away from my parents place and we lived together for just a few months with an old friend of mine. The whole time we were there he would always yell at me and make our broke situation always my fault, when he never once tried to get a job. I should’ve listened to my friend when she wouldn’t stop asking about all my bruises after he would stop yelling at me. With having no money, we ended up moving back to my parents for a short time, then he moved back to Ohio but wouldn’t let me go with him. Said I would ‘do better down here by myself’, but of course he went back and cheated on me. Around 4 months after he went back I regained my sense of self worth and broke it off with him. I moved half an hour away from my parents and things were fine for a couple years. But three or so months ago he showed up at my parents with NO warning, demanding to see me and almost started a fight with my dad. They of course didn’t tell him where I was, and called the cops but he was long gone before they showed up. Things cooled off for another month until I ran into him at my local walmart, he cried and begged me to get back with him and made a huge scene and kept a hard grip on my arms and wrists so I couldn’t walk away, thank god security showed up and told him he had to leave. I stayed at a friends house for a couple nights just in case he had tried to follow me home, and after a few days of seriously thinking about what I was going to do, I decided to move to Oregon. I’ve always wanted to live here and thought now’s a better time than ever. So I paid off the last 2 months of rent in my apartment, got a u-haul, and left. I’m still looking for a job and currently living out of my car, but all I’m wanting is some money for gas and food. I’ve gone to local pantries but the food doesnt last very long with me having no refrigeration. $1,000 is all I ask for and hope you make even the smallest donation. Thank you for listening to my story if you got this far, and have a fantastic day.

https://paypal.me/texanrefugee

I’ll go ahead and start with the obligatory “I’ve never done anything like this before.”  And believe it or not, it’s actually true.

If you take the time to read this, then God bless you.

If reading isn’t really your thing, then here’s the short of it:  After my divorce, I needed to support my kids on my own.  I chose to start a brand new career that I knew would change my life.  In doing so, I incurred an insurmountable amount of credit card debt.  My career is an awesome career and it pays well.  But digging out of this hole has turned out to be harder than I imagined.

I’m 35 years old.  I thought I would have it all figured out by now.  Wrong!  I feel like such a failure.

My new career is awesome, and it pays well.  The issue is that I’m an independent contractor and my pay varies.  I send out invoices to clients, and then I have to wait at least 30 days for my clients to pay me.  Sometimes they take a bit longer.  And on top of that, my clients can cancel the day before the job, leaving me with no job for the day.  I can have weeks where I earn $2,000 or $200.  It’s sporadic and it scares the crap out of me.

I have 22 credit cards — all maxed out.  What did I buy with them?  Groceries, electric bills, gas for my car (I travel for work), stuff like that.  My career also required that I purchase equipment.  I needed a specialized mask, industry software, and other stuff like that.  I did NOT buy expensive luxury stuff.  I used the cards while I was in school so that I could focus and get out in a timely manner and start living the dream.

I worked part time as a waitress while in school, but it just wasn’t enough.  And then, once I started my dream career, I had to go 45 days without any income of any kind.  All of my credit cards were maxed out by this point, so I resorted to less favorable personal loans with super high interest rates, thinking at the time that I’d pay them off in full once I started getting paid.  But the bills just kept getting higher and higher.

I have four credit cards right this second that want a minimum payment of $500 to bring my account current.  And that’s only 4 out of 22 cards!

I can hear what you’re thinking now.  I should file bankruptcy.  And maybe I should.  I don’t know.  It may come to that in the end.  But right now, I’m fighting hard to maintain my integrity and I know in my heart that I owe every penny.  It’s my responsibility to pay it.

I’m really just at a loss here.

Thank you for hearing me out.  If you feel lead to help, here’s my link.

paypal.me/grammarpolice

My wife and I got married nearly 6 years ago. We are both college graduates and we’re drug free. during our first year of marriage I became ill and ended up retiring early due to a disability. we were before my disability able to manage our expenses relatively well each month. However after becoming ill the meager income I receive from my Disability income made it nearly impossible to make ends meat and keep our heads above water. We ended up homeless living out of our camper van for a period of nearly 4 years straight. Many days we suffered hunger because we couldn’t afford to keep gas in the tank and feed ourselves.

We unfortunately had to choose fuel over food most days because we couldn’t just leave our van in a place parked due to the fact that it would be impounded and then we’d have no where to lay our heads at all. It was especially difficult during the winter seasons as we had no form of heating because our vans heater core was broken. So we had to huddle up together for warmth under donated blankets praying that our feet wouldn’t freeze off, or that we wouldn’t develop hypothermia. To boot our vans roof was leaky so we had constant barrages of colds, and even developed walking pneumonia a time or too plus a bad ear infection from the dirty water leaking into my wife’s ear at night. Most of our meals came from digging out of dumpsters of fast food and other restaurants. occasionally we’d go to the salvation army where they would let us get some of the donated groceries once a month. Only issues was without electricity and refrigeration most of it ended up going bad if we weren’t able to cook it all up fast enough.

Instead of begging for money on the streets we started a craft business and were selling handmade jewelry and hats on a table outside of grocery stores and gas station when the weather would permit. We really did want to help ourselves and we were trying but things weren’t going our way. We have had the dream or vision of purchasing a small plot of land and farm on it to become more self reliant. Before the disability set in we had bought an acre of land and were making monthly payments on it.

When our income level dropped to what is is now we had to let that dream go because we couldn’t afford to keep our land where we had proposed we’d begin building our farm life on. We finally were able to get off the streets in the last 9 months and got on low income housing list, were later approve for low income housing. and our income is suiting us just well enough to pay all our primary bills and keep a roof over our head, with very little money left for food or any other incidentals each month. We still have our vision of building a small farm and teaching other to do the same via our social media pages and our Youtube channel. After saving every spare dime we had while homeless and over the last 9 months, we’ve managed to save just enough to purchase another small plot of land cash out, to begin our vision of living sustainable lifestyle. We learned our lesson last time with making payments on a parcel of land, and realized we needed to pay cash for a small plot so we’d assure we owned it outright. Now we’re in need of financial assistance to build infrastructure and build a small house and buy materials and equipment. We need financial assistance because, on my small disability income of less than $15k a year we will never be able to save enough money to afford to build our home and move out of low income housing onto our land and begin farming. if we could manage to get at minimum 6-10 thousand dollars we could move out of our apartment and buy a small motor home or travel trailer and begin living on our own piece of land.

Any donations would free up my small yearly income of $14,440 to purchase materials and tools to begin transforming our land into our sustainable vision of self reliant freedom. If we were able to achieve this we have plans on again teaching other how to build small scale micro farms and how to turn this skill into a trade which could produce income for low income families, as well as helping feed many more who are below poverty level. We want to start a non-profit organization specializing in helping low income family become self sufficient and monetarily free by purchasing small plots of land and building micro farms and fish farming. We believe healthy food and affordable housing are the two main staples to a decent quality of life for even the lowest level of income earners the world over. We just want to do our part to help make the world a better place for those suffering the effects of poverty. We believe that due to our having first hand experience we know best how to help those like us who might be having a hard go of it. With this inside track we could tailor a specialized program like no other to assist the needy in become more self sufficient.

“give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, Teach a man to fish and he is fed for a lifetime.”

Thank you,

Brandon & Danielle Baptiste

“A life of servitude is what we choose.”

This is the moto our family lives by. My husband (Ben) and I grew up in a small community in Rusk County Wisconsin. We met in 7th grade and have pretty much been connected at the hip since. We graduated together and because of alphabetic order even walked together for the ceremony in 2003. We were married in 2005 and a few months later welcomed our first child Lillian. Twenty 23 short months later along came Benny. We dreamed of having a large biological family, but the good Lord had other plans for us. Within a year of our 2nd child’s birth, we conceived twice and heaven received our unborn angels. We named them Jessi and Jackson. A few years later, right before Christmas, we were surprised to find out we were expecting twins! On New Years Eve, Joseph and Josephine made their journey to heaven. We found comfort in knowing that our 4 Angel’s never felt any of the pain and grief this world has, but only warmth and love. We emptied our saving working, unsuccessfully, with fertility experts to grow our family. For a long time we grieved the loss of the large biological family we would never have.

My grandparents were foster parents for 33 years and raised over 40 teenage boys! Having grown up around it, I always knew it was something I wanted to do. Ben and I eventually realized  that God gave us the ability to love lots of children without the ability to produce them for a reason. We decided to become licensed treatment level foster parents. It has been interesting since, to say the least. We have had several children go through our home and one, Maria, even asked us to adopt her after she aged out of the system. She still lives with us with her 2 year old son, Ezra, and is expecting her first daughter in October.

Ben works 12 hour shifts at 2 jobs to provide for us. Between appts., visits from social works and court appearances both of us working isn’t realistic. The state does “pay” us when we have placements, but the payments come once a month and are never enough to cover the costs of raising a child. Not to mention we don’t even get our first payment until after the child has been placed with us for a month. They usually come with nothing but the clothes on their back, so we end up providing everything for them from our own pockets initially.

We own a 4 bedroom home that we owe less then $12,000 on. Our house was built in the 50’s. The bedrooms are small and we only have one bathroom. Our adopted daughter has the smallest room to herself as there really isn’t room for anyone else and she is 19. Our daughter Lilly, has a room with bunk beds and our son Benny shares a room with our grandson Ezra. We do have a full basement and would like to build more bedrooms, an office, a second bathroom (legally needed for more members in the household) and a rec. room for the kids; but it leaks and for legal bedrooms we would have to install egress windows. We consulted a contractor and to fix the leaking we need our entire driveway dug up and an extensive amount of sealing and landscaping to fix it. (Not to mention we would need a new driveway) We have a 2001 Ford Excusion for transporting the kids, but have had to take a loan against it to make ends meet through this difficult time. My husband drives a 2003 Lincoln Continental, that to be honest needs to be retired, just to work.

Last summer I unexpectedly had to have 2 major surgeries only 3 weeks apart and then my husband had to have an unplanned surgery. His recover didn’t go as planned and he ended up being off work twice as long as expected. You can imagine what that did to our financial situation. Suddenly we were months behind on bills and and drowning in medical debt.

We have dedicated our lives to helping and raising children but just don’t have adequate room or finances to make more room to do it on our own.

We want to continue to serve our country by being treatment level foster parents, but we need help to get things back on track and we need more space that we frankly cant afford to build on our own. We are humbly asking for help to get out from under our debt and improve our home so we can continue to serve by taking in children in need. We are asking for $100,000 to accomplish this. We are fully aware of the magnitude of the amount, but we are not asking because we want someone else to take care of us but because “A life of servitude is what we choose” and we need some help to do that right now.

Thank you for your consideration!

paypal.me/miniatt

My name is, Samuel. I’m a 34 year old contractor with a loving fiancé of 12 years (I haven’t been able to afford to give her the wedding she deserves) three beautifully happy children (Rosie, Boo and Jr) and our 2 dogs (Isabella & Prince). I don’t want any confusion, I’m incredibly happy with how my life is going! However, that doesn’t mean there isn’t room for improvement and this is what brings me to you. Before reading further I will have you know that I will follow up with anyone upon request. I want to be as transparent as possible. I’m currently working two jobs and trying to keep my head above water with my family’s busy schedule.

I was born in the Midwest in 1985 to a beautiful young woman that struggled with mental health issues, drug/alcohol abuse and lived as a prostitute. It could have been expected that if she were to have children they would be subjected to physical and mental abuse themselves. I was. By age 5 I was in state custody. My mother was reported for being high and I was temporarily removed from my home. Once returned, I was subjected to things no child should ever have to endure. Drugs, domestic violence, and sexual abuse were common. A couple years after returning home I was picked up from school by my mother and dropped off at a “group home” (orphanage) and didn’t see her again for nearly 2 decades.

Once in the system I struggled with anger/temperament issues, incredible amounts of sadness/depression and an overall sense of loneliness. I guess I figured if my own mother would abandon me then the rest of the world definitely didn’t have my best interest at heart. I fought, ran away and walked out of class more times than I can count. Until I aged out of the system at age 19 I was in six group homes and nineteen different foster homes. Throughout this period, I learned only how to control my emotions. I became an adult never having a support system or the knowledge needed in order to make it day to day in society. Cliché as it may sound, I felt like I was just another number in the system and that’s a shitty way to feel as a kid. Anyway, years later I realized that I was in fact just another number and the system is overwhelmed with cases like mine with very few resources to manage them.

I was accepted into College with no real knowledge of how to manage my time or finances. My foster mother I was however in love with my high school sweetheart and I wanted to be the best man I could for her. I began working full time and tried, but failed to prioritize classwork over my immediate need to work and provide. I was a contract laborer working sun up to sun down because for the first time in my life I’d realized that if I hold value to someone else, they’ll take care of me. I was making decent money, but I wasn’t managing it properly. I had a small house, a nice used car and money to play with, or so I thought.

At 22 I had my first daughter, Rosie , and shortly thereafter I had my second daughter, Boo. With no savings and no real credit I quickly began spinning out of control financially. I would get paid and everything would go out the door almost immediately. I wasn’t prepared for doctor visits, diapers, new clothes every other week. That, and the looming dread of failing my children financially led me to get my first credit card with a $300 limit. I maxed it out almost immediately thinking I’d be able to pay it back overnight. You can assume what followed… A son. My junior. My June Buggy. Now I’m responsible for raising a respectful, honest, hard-working, tolerant and responsible little man and I’m essentially a mouse on a wheel financially.

As I’ve grown up I’ve come into contact with my 9 half siblings, all of whom were raised with their biological fathers. I have since become the rock/patriarch of our blended family. My fiancé and I are always there when our loved ones need us. Whether it’s a warm plate of food and a couch to crash on, an ear in times of distress when they need to vent, or a weekend of rest because we’re always down to watch any of our 9 nieces and nephews… we’re always here for them. We weren’t raised together, but I love my siblings and my step parents (their parents) more than anything.

So, here I am! I’m still a contractor and work very hard to give my kids and my fiancé what they need. My kids are happy, respectful and full of life. All three of them do well in school and are physically healthy. My fiancé has climbed the ranks within her company to become an assistant manager and she is healthy and happy as well. The only thing not happy here is my credit score and financial situation. I have medical bills, student loans, a few accounts in collections  and maxed out credit cards. All of these things have prevented me from starting savings funds for my children, starting a business, buying a home and marrying the woman of my dreams. I went to a lawyer to inquire about bankruptcy and was advised that because my debt is so small, he didn’t recommend me going that route. I simply want a fresh start with a guarantee to whomever helps me that I will in fact pay it forward. I have around $15k in bad debt/collections, high interest credit card payments. That along with a poor/late payment history is making it virtually impossible to reach my goals and makes me feel like a mouse on a wheel. I truly appreciate you for taking the time to read my story.

Very Respectfully,

Sam

To Whom It May Concern,

My name is Justin, and I am humbly writing you to help me get out of credit card debt. Growing up less fortunate, I never had the financial fitness knowledge that most of my peers around me have had to properly manage finances. I moved out of my house to attend college when I was 17 to escape an abusive household, piling up lots of debt along the way. I graduated with a science degree in 5 years and am working on paying my student loans off as quickly as possibly. I am asking for your help as it is becoming increasing difficult to pay down my student loans quickly with this credit card debt weighing me down. I know what you’re thinking, why help someone who put themselves in this situation? I would think the same. I’m such a hardworking and prideful person, it is taking every ounce of my being to come online and randomly ask strangers for money. Having to deal with this debt has been weighing on me physically and emotionally, it is dragging down my credit score monthly. Preventing me from even thinking about making a move into a place that I can call my own. It is even hard to rent with a subpar credit score as many of you may know. I don’t come from a wealthy family, or even a healthy family. I had to learn the hard lessons of life on my own, without any guidance as no one in my family had gone to higher education. I don’t want you to feel bad for me, I’m just providing context to my background and how I ended up here. I finally want to get out of this hole to improve the quality of my life. I have dreams of building my own business in the food industry once I am in a position to move forward without credit card debt. I know what else you may be asking, how can we trust this guy not to come back on here in a few months or years asking the same thing? Trust me, I have learned the hard lessons of using credit cards without the capital to pay them off in time. Had I been in a position to do that, I would have. I have always done what I’ve needed to take care of myself in the immediate, though now it has affected my present and continues to affect my future. I am asking you all to help me get out of this hole. Much love.

Justin

Paypal:

https://paypal.me/jr4092?locale.x=en_US

CashApp:

$jr4092

I’m Latavia Young. I am Fall 2018 graduate from Arizona State University with a Bachelors of Arts in Film and Media Production and a Minor in Digital Audiences. I am beginning my Masters of Fine Arts at Colorado State University in Arts Leadership and Cultural Management in this Fall 2019.

Me on set of my very first short film freshman year of university.

Throughout my undergraduate career, I led in many different capacities and self-expressed through various outlets; filmmaking, photography, modeling, and design. I served as a Creative Fellow for two years, mentoring freshman film, dance and theatre students through their transition from high school to university life and acting as a liaison between students, staff and administration. I was a member, then Creative Director, then President of the ASU Film Association creating networking and creation opportunities and spearheading our annual Student Film Festival two years in a row in addition to executing other large scale events and traditions. I also served on various committees and initiatives on campus at ASU such as Residence Hall Association where I advocated for resources for students who lived on campus, Woman’s Coalition where I took part in the planning of Women’s HERstory Month, and in the Herberger School for Design and the Arts where I pitched the idea that two years later became Herberger Day! In addition to my extracurricular activities, I wrote, directed, and/or produced many student films, completed a few internships (one being Meet the Filmmaker with Robert Townsend and Charles Burnett), worked two jobs including managing ASU’s very own Digital Creative Studio, and maintained a 3.4 cumulative GPA.

Accepting the Outstanding Producer’s Award December 2018

As a result of my grit throughout my 3.5 years of undergraduate university, in my sophomore and junior year I was award the School of Film, Dance and Theatre Special Talent Scholarship Award and in my senior year I was 1 of 5 undergraduate students of ASU’s over 40,000 students nominated as an Outstanding Undergraduate Student Leader and was awarded the Outstanding Producer’s Award from the School of Film, Dance and Theatre in addition to producing 7 films that were selected to showcase in the Fall 2018 and Spring 2019 Senior Showcase.

My last night as the ASU Film Association President in April 2018

Yes, I kept myself busy during undergrad and I plan to do the same thing throughout Graduate School but with a twist; interning at the Jimmy Fallon Show!

I chose to complete my master’s program online to afford me the ability to enter the workforce and begin my career.

While starting my career was the plan, I wasn’t anticipating moving to New York until a few days ago, when I received an email stating that I was accepted into The Tonight Show’s Internship Program for Fall 2019!
Due to being afforded the luxury of living back at home with my parents in order to focus and save money for my Graduate Program, I am raising money to both assist me in relocation from Cheyenne, Wyoming to Manhattan New York by or around August 1st as the internship begins on August 5th as well as initial costs.

If you didn’t know, living in New York costs a pretty penny (quite a couple pretty pennies…(okay a lot more than a couple)). Currently, most apartment rentals, subleasing, and/or long-term Airbnb rentals require large deposits/down payments and/or excessive income requirements which with more that I can give upfront would give me more an ability to get into an agreement with a landlord. I have also looked into student housing in New York which is anything from $8,000 – $10,000, with half of it due upfront.

Why complete this internship rather than stay home and save money?

I have loved storytelling and entertainment for as long as I can remember. I later discovered that I have an insatiable thirst for success and a drive that keeps me busy and wanting of the highest goals that I can attain in addition to the disbelief in the idea of not having enough money or enough time. My ultimate goal is to be a Film Producer and this is another huge step toward that.

Me on set of my senior capstone film

—–

Up to this point in my life, I am an example of what happens when I am loved, supported, and invested in and so I ask my family, my friends, my school community, my film community, and my creative community in general to continue to invest in me!

It would mean the absolute world to me to get as close as possible to this goal not only for my career but the fact that I have a community willing to continue to push me and believe in me!

If you’re interested in seeing any of my work please visit my portfolio: https://thelataviayoung.myportfolio.com/

Here are some publications that I am involved in:
An Interview with Dean Tepper, Dean of Herberger Institute for Design and the Arts
https://vimeo.com/240877640

Statepress Article about the ASU Digital Creative Studio
https://www.statepress.com/article/2018/02/spcampus-digital-creative-studio-opens-in-mu

Article about ASU Creative Fellows
https://campus.asu.edu/content/asus-herberger-institute-fosters-creative-community

Statepress Article about the ASU Film Association
https://www.statepress.com/article/2018/04/spartcult-film-students-are-set-to-showcase-their-best-work-at-the-upcoming-student-film-festival

—–

I would like to give a huge thanks to anyone who has ever donated to and/or shared any of my film projects in the past. You have all been a part of getting me to this point but I have so much further to go!

Thank you for reading!

– Latavia Young

It all started after I graduated from college in 2016. I graduated from The Ohio State University and then from Ashland University with a teaching license. Unfortunately, no one was hiring an English teacher. I began subbing trying to pay off $40,000 of student loans. For the longest time I worked 3 different jobs to try and pay my loans.

Then I moved to Chicago, IL, where again, I couldn’t find a teaching job after months of searching. I accrued even more debt by getting a credit card to help with some of the costs for my sister’s wedding- where I was the maid of honor- and to help with the bills that were piling up.

Fast forward to today, and why I am here. I moved back to my home state of Ohio and had 3 jobs- until one filed for bankruptcy and closed many of their stores. I took out a line of credit so that I could afford to buy a used car- which I have already had to put $300 into repairs. I still have yet to find a teaching job here- which would help tremendously- including giving me healthcare.

I recently took out a small personal loan to help pay my rent for this month, however, I am now looking at a bank account with -$450. I have done everything I can think of to try and alleviate my debt- I’ve stopped using my credit card, I’ve tried to budget money, bought food in bulk to freeze for future meals, and have looked at other ways to make money, I have sent my resume out to countless jobs around where I live to try and get another job.

I also found out that my car’s A/C no longer works and I can’t afford to get it fixed.

I know I put myself in this situation, but I am desperate for some kind of help. I don’t want to go to my family, and part of me feels like I can’t go to them for fear of them telling me they either can’t help (which has happened) or that I made this mess and that I have to fix it, or my favorite saying ‘that’s life’. I have been feeling like I am on my own and just feel this weight of all this debt just drowning me. Any kind of help would be greatly appreciated!

Paypal: https://paypal.me/angelchristine93

Dear readers,

My name is John and I live with my wife and dog in the State of Utah.. I currently live in a hotel which includes a bathroom and a tiny room. Life here is really hard for us because we have no kitchen so we have to survive of things we can microwave.

This place is one of the worst in the state. I been living here for over a month now and there’s been shootings, rooms getting shutdown and cops getting called constantly.

My wife can’t even leave the room alone without getting harassed by someone.

We been trying to desperately look for another place but have had no luck so far.

The last place we lived at, the person who we were renting the room from stold all of our money leaving us homeless in the street.

We had to live in the car for over a week until we could save enough money to get a place.

My wife and I don’t smoke or drink or use any sort of drug.

We don’t spend money going out since we can’t afford it. We get all of our groceries from food pantries.

Even after all of this we still can’t save any money.

Our dream would be to leave Utah and start a new life in North Carolina. We been doing a lot of research and the houses down there are way cheaper and also the land is cheaper. On top of that they have beaches down there and the food is one of the best.

My wife has  a dream of wanting to start her own dog company, But we can’t do that unless we get a house first. Once we accomplish that then she would love to start it in the backyard.

It would mean the world to me to be able to make her dream a reality and to potentially start a family.

This is why I need a helping hand. I’m not asking for much just whatever you can donate.

Here’s my Link for my PayPal: https://paypal.me/johnandsarah0115?locale.x=en_US

Sincerely John.

Picture above is of my art and the iPad Mini 5

Second photo is my art.

Hello, my name is Andria. I live in Bronx, New York. I was hoping to receive funds that could help me purchase an Apple iPad Mini 5. Or donate their used iPad Mini 5 for free. Here’s a bit about myself: I really want to draw and creatively express myself through digital art. As long as I can remember, I’ve always had a passion for drawing and coloring and anything that involves using creativity and imagination.

I want an iPad to create art, whether it be through drawing, photography, or writing. I have many hobbies that can be utilized and fulfilled through an iPad. 

Since I’ve been struggling with generalized anxiety disorder and depression since I was a child, it’s not a surprise that a roller coaster of emotions and obstacles that have contributed to my delay and hesitation in vital experiences of personal growth.  I have been seeking employment for quite a while now with my last job being in 2014. 

The following year I decided to embark on college. It was something I was terrified of doing. I didn’t believe I could do it, but I did make it through about 2 years worth of semesters attempting my Associate’s Degree.  To make a long story short, it went okay until it didn’t and my grades suffered. I do plan to continue my education down the line.

Over the last few years I’ve dipped myself into self-care mode and have sought out therapy for my mental health. This is a step I should have taken years ago and I regret not taking it sooner. 

Therapy has helped quite a lot and has motivated me to focus on my physical health, (which I’ve neglected for years), as well as my mental health. It has been a difficult process to begin seeing a medical doctor again for my physical health. I have a few health issues that have been neglected and are causing me a lot of physical pain. It has been a slow, crawling and tedious process. I have to face my body and actually see it with a new perspective I haven’t felt in years. In attempting to fix the damage I’ve done, I realized my love for my body has to be stronger than it ever was before. I have to want to be healthier and begin loving myself in a different and strange way to be motivated enough to care and maintain my health.

Also currently I’m focusing on my interpersonal relationships as well as building my self-esteem and confidence. I see some changes in my willingness to try new things, use my voice to air my opinions, and most recently see a positive change in my anxiety and depression. I am calmer and less likely to dwell on negative thoughts or actions.

Drawing and coloring has been a large part in my therapy since it helped me distract my mind into focusing on positive things rather than getting stuck in negative spirals of mean self-loathing and hatred and anxiety. I love coloring books, apps, and am in the process of making a quote book with lots of pretty stickers! I love using different forms of art tools whether it be paint, digital art, pencils, pastels, and crayons. Make-up is also another form of art I love using.

I guess all of the therapy began after my father moved away and stopped financially supporting my family and I about 3 years ago. It was a total shock and a terrible experience of abandonment. It forced me to really look at myself and begin changing. We are currently still struggling financially and are barely making it through all the bills every month. You can also donate money for necessities as well, but I won’t add that as a must.

I am the youngest in my family and is practically the only one expected to provide for us in the immediate family. I am in my late 20’s and it is only natural that I should have a career by now, but I’m only just beginning to feel healthy and mentally stable enough to begin working a full time job. I am trying my best to keep up with my medical appointments and mental health appointments as well as going on job interviews and seeking out other career resources.

That is where I am at this point in my life and I just hope someone or multiple can help me release my imagination through the amazing technology of Apple. ;)

I am also very willing to accept an iPad 6th Generation or iPad mini 5(new or used) mailed to me instead of giving funds via PayPal if you are worried that I will use the money for something else or whatever..lol.. 

my PayPal me link:

paypal.me/andie323

Thank You.

My name is Brian, and I work in the tech industry. I’ve basically been employed for the same company for more than fifteen years. Unfortunately, while I do have a steady job, my family’s finances have been going downhill for quite some time.

Due to a combination of a not-so-strong economy, increases at work that fell short of meeting the rate of inflation, family health issues, and some admittedly poor life choices, we have been enduring stressful revolving debt.

Between large student loan payments, the catastrophic failure of my car resulting in the need to get another so that I could commute to work, and family health issues, money became stretched tight. In an attempt to help alleviate our financial burden, we turned to short-term loans, thinking that we would be able to catch up sooner rather than later. Unfortunately, this proved not to be the case, and the amount of short- and medium-term loans we had increased. And as those numbers increased, so did the amounts for the payments and interest rates as my credit score took hit after hit.

I have been trying to fight our way out of this mess, but am not making much headway. My wife’s health issues prevent her from holding a steady job outside the home, and as I work full-time, she is also the caregiver for our special-needs daughter. With my commute to work, I am away from home for 11+ hours a day, making it difficult even to find a second, part-time job. I spend sleepless nights every payday, worrying about whether or not we will be able to cover rent, and gas, and food, and utilities, while still making the loan payments.

I thought long and hard about even posting here, but as each attempt to climb out of this hole met with failure, I became more disillusioned.

What we would ask is some assistance in getting things back on an even keel. My student loan debt is not something I would ask for others to pay, nor is my car payment, but if we could just get some help getting out from under the short-term loan fiasco I believe we could start setting everything right.

Ideally, we would be looking for help with $10,000 worth of debt to help us get back to normalcy. Any help is appreciated. We just want to get back to a place where we can sleep without wondering if the next week is the week we lose utilities or get evicted. Thank you for any and all assistance.

https://paypal.me/kaylmaclaren

Thank you for taking the time and reading this.

I am 23 years old and have had a really hard time these past few years, from assault to abusive relationships, and then having to bring my mother in to live with me after my father took all of her money and retirement and spent it on a woman he had never even met. Taking care of medical bills and getting her out here to me has put me in too much debt for me to be able to handle. I am trying to juggle finding a new home I can afford for the 2 of us, my mothers mental health, my own personal issues, and making sure everyone around me is happy. I volunteer on my lunch breaks at the animal shelter, and with special needs cats on the weekends. I am $6,000 in debt, and just need a little boost to get ahead. Your help would help me so much <3 thank you.

Hi my name is Juana I wouldn’t be doing this but I need help my brother committed suicide a couple years ago and we were very close. He left me his house in New Mexico but the house is in bad shape it’s not livable the house needs to be fumigated cause of rats roaches and it needs plumbing. The house needs to be gutted. And rebuilt. It will cost a lot of money and time.

I would like to tear the house and start over and get a pre manufactured home on the property instead as well as a garage and a security gate  but I don’t have the funds I’m a single my with a 2 1/2 year old daughter I’m a mail carrier and don’t make much I’m barely making it living pay check to pay check. And I can’t afford to do anything. Cant catch a break

My other brother also committed suicide last year all the finances is all on me I don’t have anyone to help me my parents are gone it’s just me and my daughter.

Im asking please if anyone can donate and help out I would appreciate it. Thank you

https://paypal.me/juanablackwell

I’ll try to make this short. I’m not necessarily looking for money per se. My wife and I are in financial trouble. I lost my good paying job in 2015 and ended up having to take a lower paying job because my unemployment was about to run out. My wife can’t work because she is physically impaired and unable to work out in the work force. We currently live in a nice two bedroom apartment in Santa Clarita, but since the new owners took over, the rent has been increasing rapidly, currently paying $1870/ month. Now our rent has jumped to $2400/month. We just can’t afford it. So, we’ve been looking for another apartment and after applying to a few, we found that my income is not enough to qualify. We even tried to downgrade to a one bedroom and still can’t qualify. We are at our wits end and at the moment considering moving out to Palmdale where the rent is cheaper. Unfortunately, that would result in a 2 hour or more commute each way to work.

With that said, my wife and I are looking for an apartment in the Santa Clarita that rents for about $1800/Month. We have a small dog and a cat, so we would need to have a patio or balcony. I’m 58 and my wife is 50. We’re hoping someone out there can provide us with a rental home until we can get back on our feet. We need to be out of our current apartment on July 31st. Please understand, we’re not looking for a hand out…what ever costs the you would incur while helping us would be paid back once I start making more money…and that could happen in a big way in the next several months.

Please feel free to contact me and I will be happy to provide additional info.

Thank you,

Jeff

paypal.me/jefrico

My name is Gibert Enriquez and I am a disabled 58 years of age who lives in my mothers home where she pays for the mortgage with her Social Security payments. I work as an Uber Driver and pay for the other expenses. My credit card debt has become huge and we are struggling to live with the income we receive every month.

I work from 10 PM until 4 AM as a Driver and sleep from 4:30 AM until 10 AM. then take time to help my mother with the daily work at home. She does not drive so I am also the one who takes her to the Doctors appointments and to the supermarket.

I finish 4 years of Medical School in the Dominican Republic in 1988 but did not graduate because I had just started to have difficulty concentrating while studying. Then I returned to Florida and worked as Loader/unloader at a Warehouse until 1994 when I was diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia.

From the day I started to take my Medications until 4 years ago I found myself sleeping most of the days and nights because the medication that I was taking made very drowsy. This prevented me from attending a job. But I did drove my mother to and from work. Then for years ago my Doctor change the medication to one that allowed me to be active without feeling drowsy.

I never got married nor did I have children. And my mother and I own a 13 year old Maltese dog which has an aggressive cancer, therefore she is currently under medication call Palladia a new drug for cancers in dogs. Last week she had diarrhea for two days in a row until the Vet treated her and today she is feeling better.

We just have $1000 remaining credit in one credit card for future unforeseen events and feel like we would definitely like to have the peace of mind that we have done everything we could for our dog while her quality of life is good.

My mother is 88 years of age and she has a condition in her kidneys brought by the fact that she has been taking a medication call Cynbalta and at one time her insurance stopped covering it and she did not have the money to pay for it so by discontinuing it her kidneys were affected.

They say money is a form of protection, and I have see that to be true. There fore I would like you to help me get ahead and have some advantage in this life as little as it may be one moment at a time.

Yours truly Gibert Enriquez

Hello there. I am in a bit of a situation. I have looked from place to place, asking anyone and everyone possible for assistance, and it is horrible when not even your own family will help, although I’ve helped them all numerous times. My older brother gave me his car. It’s a 2012 Scion TC. I moved from Tennessee to California back in March and the renewal of my tags is coming up in August. My brother can’t put the car in my name, because I am paying it off for him. He cannot sign it over to me until after I pay it off. I have $5,000 left on the car , and a very short amount of time to acquire the money. I can’t get the car re registered in a California until it’s under my name. And I can’t do my emissions test in California because Tennessee doesn’t accept emissions tests from other states to renew tags for another year. On top of that I am super stressed out about finding an apartment here in California too.  I can’t stay with my friend forever and she made it clear that my time is short. I have a job but my car payment always comes first so I haven’t been able to save up for a place either. I’m trying to think “one step At a time”,but when there’s so many steps that need to be taken at once, it’s very hard to think hat way. This is a literal last resort for me. If I can’t get anything out of this I won’t know what else to do or what other measures to take. I can’t even take out a loan, because my ex boyfriend messed up my credit when I was 19. Please help me, ANYTHING helps. My goal is $5,000! Thank you, and I really pray that there’s someone out there that can help take this burden off my shoulders! https://www.paypal.me/sarinabrazil

My name is Peach when I was 17 I moved all the way across the country to California in hopes of getting a seasonal job for the winter to escape the life I was just barely living. I worked for a while at different seasonal jobs until I had no where to live anymore and couldn’t continue to work. I became homeless living in my car until my car broke down and was stolen by the towing company. I had nothing but a back pack my guitar and my dog. I lived this way for 5 years hitch hiking, playing music and creating art for just enough money to feed my dog and myself and get by. I met my now fiancé in Oregon. It was around September and just about to get really cold , he had a van at the time and we traveled down to Arizona together to escape the snow. We worked at some crystal shows living in that van saving up enough money to buy a bus for us to live in ! And we actually did it! That bus came and went , as long with a bus following that, and now we are living in our 3rd bus. From the money we made selling our last bus we were planning on converting the new bus to be liveable and have a work space so we could grow a business selling our art, But 100 miles after we bought this new bus it broke down costing us $2000 in repair which was every cent of money we had left. We slept on the ground of the bus for about 2 weeks until a very nice person donated us a futon, which is currently still our bed. We’ve been trying to continue to live in and work in a completely unfinished bus, while traveling from place to place as we have no permanent place to park . We even attempted looking into bank loans to try and buy a small portion of property in the state were trying to live in as I have actually very good credit, but I don’t have a “real job” or have a record of a “real job” for the last couple years. So that idea has been ruled out for now. We even tried to reach out to family to see if there was anywhere we could park our bus while we try and get our life together and get out of this hole we fell into. There is no space for us. We want to have a family and settle down but we have become stuck living life on the road with no where to go and no where to call home. I’m tired of constantly moving now and having no stability and constantly scrounging to get by day to day. I’ve tried to get jobs at multiple different locations but no luck so far as I look a little differently then most people. I’ve decided that I’m going to put all my energy into continuing to make my art, build up an inventory and try and sell online…but The campground we have been doing a work/stay trade for the owner decided he didn’t want to give us hours to work anymore forcing us to come up with the rest of the rent in cash . They had just recently stripped of us our security and privacy as the spot we barely managed to pay for, for the month has been rented out for the weekend so they had decided that while we we’re away on a hike that they would go into our bus (the ONLY place I can semi feel at home and secure) and move it themselves. Because they couldn’t wait an hour or two for us to get back. We could get our rent back for the month but even if we did we’d have no where to go and definitely not enough money for rent somewhere else. Leaving us feeling stuck with no security anymore. We’re stuck on the road with no where to go eating from dumpsters and just trying to get our life together. You can find me on Instagram if you’d like. Personal: @justcallmepeachy

Shop: @homespunrelics

Https://www.paypal.me/MossyMaiden

Hello,

My name is Jin Jeong and I hate to be one to ask for a hand out but I feel that there may be no other options available to me. Let me begin by saying that of all the genuine people asking for help that I may be considered as one of the most undeserving. In May of 2000 when I was 18 I committed a terrible crime and went to prison for murder. The details I feel are unimportant because whatever reasoning I have for the choices I made are to me nothing more than excuses. What makes my situation even more undeserving is the fact that it wasn’t until the last few years of my 15 years in prison that I chose to utilize my time. But to be honest I didn’t think that I would be fortunate enough to be here in the US of A. I’ve lived in the US 36 of my 37 years and I do consider the great states to be my home. English not Korean is my first language and despite having pledging my allegiance to this great country since grade school I am still considered anything but an American. It’s no ones fault but my own that I squandered what great opportunities and privileges that were offered to me but what comes to mind is that one never truly knows what they have until it’s gone. I know this better than most and live with regret day in and day out. But even having been through all this and thinking that I was wiser for it I find myself here before the whole cyber world begging for help. When I got released from prison and was given a second chance at life I had the most optimistic attitude and truly had hopes and dreams of righting what wrongs that I could and solidifying my relationship with God and for the first couple of years I had. Was a able to attend trade school and make my parents proud of me. Continue to attend my church and felt like a was becoming a welcomed and valued member. Also had aspirations of becoming a business owner and not only a productive member but a generous and truly valued member of society. Life on the other hand had a way of shattering all those dreams. Even though I had completed my schooling and was eager and willing the work force wasn’t as enthused about an ex-felon, especially one lacking work experience and knowledge of someone 10-15 years my junior, on their payroll. So I was limited to the menial of labors, washing dishes and working for restaurants. I don’t want to sound unappreciative because I am grateful to have been given those opportunities but I am a prideful person and felt that I was qualified and educated for more that what was being offered. I was fortunate enough to get a break and was hired by a Heating company in the neighboring town and was very optimistic once again about my future only to come to the realization that I was only fooling myself. No amount of optimism or well intentions can supplement lack of experience or education. It must have reflected because my boss gave me an opportunity to excel in my career by working under a 20 year veteran of the trade. I felt I finally got my break. I was going to learn and gain the experience I need and so desperately wanted but what I didn’t realize was the joke was on me. The 20 year vet was not quite the upstanding individual that I would have like to be guiding me along this new career path which had very little room for error. Well things didn’t go as I had hoped and let’s just say that the vet is no longer with the company and I’m fortunate enough to still be collecting a paycheck. I now feel as though my boss and the company doesn’t want me employed there anymore but can’t fire me without repercussions so instead they allotted to move me to a position in which I’m left cleaning the ducting of peoples homes. To me this is the lowest position that the company has to offer and it’s also my feeling that I was moved into this position with the hopes that I would one day decide to quit. And I would have had on December 15, 2018, 10 days before Christmas my father past away. No insurance no nothing. Let me also mention that I hold so much guilt for my fathers passing that at times I feel as though it may be to much to handle. I can’t even get myself to share as to why I feel so much guilt over his death. So here I am expenses and bills piling up, work that I dread going to day in and day out that doesn’t even afford me enough income to take care before mentioned bills and expenses, oh and don’t let me forget my mother who dealing with her grief has chosen to cling to me with a neediness that is almost suffocating but because of my love and concern for her I’ve chosen to forgo any self-well-being of my own. I feel my life is at the brink of spiraling out of control already and asking for help in this manor is one of the last things that I ever wanted to do but please if anyone has the means and the compassion to ease some of my burden. Please help me, not for my sake but those that I care about. If I didn’t feel that I was responsible for others and only had to concern myself with myself then the choices would have been much easier for me, but the truth of the matter is that I have loved one that are I feel dependent on me. So if anyone has any sympathy for me and the situation that I have found myself in your generosity would make the world of difference.

Thank you,

Jin Jeong

p.s. I guess I’m supposed to post my PayPal info at the bottom. Well with all my hopes and prayers.

PayPal.Me/KoreanAK

To the kind person reading this,

I never thought I would get to a point in my life where I would be writing to random people that offer help such as this site. It is crazy to me that people like you are willing to help out those in need. Well, let’s get straight to it. I am behind on a lot of my bills (phone bill, water bill, and medical bill) and currently am behind on two credit card bills that one is already in delinquent. My medical bills are because I am pregnant and am expecting a child in November. Because I am under 25, I am still with my dad’s insurance with a deductible as high as $6,000, causing me to pay out of pocket for everything. My money is running so thin that I don’t even have milk and eggs in the refrigerator, and I am constantly feeling like I’m on an episode of Chopped when searching for what to eat (I made a banana bread with applesauce today and it was actually amazing). I also just had to rehome my American Staffordshire Terrier because I couldn’t afford to feed him anymore. I have rent in July that I have no clue how I’m paying, not to mention I just graduated and am about to be hit with student loan bills. I am in debt with friends and family asking for money that I don’t want to ask for more. So, here I am. Asking for help on this site praying to God that someone is willing to see my story, believe me, and help me in any type of way. If this doesn’t work, I can at least say I tried, but if you decide to help me, I thank you in advance and pray that you receive great reward for this great deed. All I’m asking is to be able to catch up. I have attached just one bill of many that is behind. And my paypal link is https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/my/profile

How do I begin a missive to people in cyber-space – especially one that requires me to expose my personal struggles in such a vulnerable way? It is very difficult for me to ask for help. I suppose that it is prideful vanity whispering the word “failure” in my ear. My name is Jessica and I am not a failure. Take that pride! 

https://www.paypal.me/Jess341

I found myself staring at my computer screen for an hour, typing a sentence just to delete it seconds later. I decided the only way to get around that fear was to crash right into it with the truth. The truth is is this: My husband and I have made ourselves slaves. I remember reading a verse in the Book of Proverbs that says (I am paraphrasing) the borrower becomes a slave to the lender. It didn’t make much sense to me then. Logically I understood, but I was young and didn’t have much debt. Experience has become my greatest teacher.

Neither my husband nor myself grew up wealthy. We both had parents that worked hard to provide for us. Dean’s father was a single dad of three boys, so he worked a lot. My parents both had great jobs for years, but they spent frivolously and did not plan for emergencies. They eventually filed bankruptcy. We weren’t taught to save or even how to budget.

In 2007 my husband bought his first grapple truck.He had been driving for someone else for years and realized the money making potential in the hauling business. Ten years later we had three trucks, two employees, were an S-Corp and grossed over $250k. Every week we would run multiple cash loads that weren’t accounted for or deposited. We spent it. Our children believed that daddy had bottomless pockets. They weren’t spoiled but definitely comfortable and lacked nothing, as was I. I was able to stay home and take care of the house and the office.

And then the bottom fell out. One driver had $110,000 in insurance claims because he rear-ended someone – and did not tell me about it for a month. I found out about the accident the same week that he did $14,000 worth of damage to the truck putting it out of commission permanently. The next week the other driver did just about the same amount of damage to that truck. The only truck left was the first truck and it had almost a million miles on it.

We had bills. Lots of bills. We created to debt to pay off debt.

Someone we hauled for wanted to invest in a truck with us.. It was a bad deal, but we were desperate. We were losing everything. Our children were suffering. We found a truck that was being refurbished, came with warranty (and by all appearances looked like our life raft) by a “reputable” company. Our investor put up $60k cash, the rest to be financed. After sending the deposit to the dealer we were informed the truck hadn’t been worked on yet and that it would be two months before it could be picked up. We waited though, acquiring more debt just to pay our household bills. By then we just stopped paying most of the business ones. We had to have a roof over our head and running water.

I was so excited the day they went to get that truck. I had started cleaning houses and was working 6 days a week, sometimes 10 hours a day. Dean picked up the truck on a Friday, by Monday the truck had to go in the shop, starting a whole new round of devastation. But because we had already signed the finance agreements with both the bank and the investor we were now obligated to pay over $5,000 a month for a truck that was not producing any revenue. It took almost another two months for it to run steady. By then we were being evicted. With all of the debt we had accumulated, both of our credit scores plummeted. No one would help us.

Still we have pressed on. I am now working two jobs, our 16 year old daughter is working (and in the AICE program at school with a 4.0 GPA), and Dean is hauling as many loads as he can get. Sometimes giving your all still isn’t enough. I wish I could say that is the end of the story. It’s not.

My Jeep has needed a whole new front end for a while but we can’t afford the $1500 to fix it. It’s financed and I can’t find a buyer willing to pay what I owe.Two weeks ago the engine blew in my daughters car (that I spent ALL of my tax money on) and will cost $3000. Last week our only other vehicle was repossessed. That’s another $3500. We have no vehicle now to get to work or the store or anywhere. Dean has given everything he has in him to turn things around. He works all day and then comes home to work on the Jeep himself.

Four days ago we were informed that the investor is suing us for breach of contract. While we have paid him (some in cash, some in hauling) we have not been able to meet the demands of the contract. Legally he has the right to sue, as we signed the contract. We have communicated with him almost weekly. Dean has hauled 20+ loads (that’s $8,000) for him, all applying to our loan. Yet, we are in default. We will lose the truck.

We need help. We are going to talk to a lawyer this week. But how will we pay for it? How will we get there? And then what? Bankruptcy? Homelessness? This is my cry for help. Will anyone even read this? If they do, will they get past the first paragraph? And if they do will they read to the end, will they be moved with compassion?

To the person reading to the end – if you are in a position to help, please be my beacon of hope. If you can give money, please do so. If you can give a car (or an engine), please do so. If all you can give is an encouraging word that will give me hope, please do so.