Begging Money

Financial Hardship Help

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Thank You for Reading & Your Consideration

Before I begin, this is my first time doing this tbh. Where do I begin?
in 2019 I separated from my husband because he beat me severely and tried to attacked me with a knife while I was holding our baby boy. My oldest son tried to defend me. We called his closest friend and he came and took him away. I never let him back in the house and it was the end of our relationship. His actions were a mix of his anger problem and drug use. I didn’t know and wasn’t aware of the signs of drug abuse until it was too late. Needless to say, it was the most painful thing I had to go through leaving a man that I still loved because he wasn’t good for me and my kids. I struggled to move on and took me about 3 years to finally feel the freedom and security to finally move and accept everything. Those 3 years were hard and my oldest son developed depression and tried to hurt himself because of what happened. I have tried to make my kid’s lives the happiest I can and provide for them the best I can all while battling my inner feelings and my own depression. When me and him broke up, I had nothing, a few weeks prior to the beating I had received kidney surgery due to a massive kidney stone that had to be physically taken out via surgery. So when he beat me, I was still recovering and I had no job. After the beating, he took away my car, my bank cards joint, and we were left with nothing. I managed to find a job even though I was still In pain and recovering. I have been taking care of my kids since then, he pays child support when he wants to. I Managed to get full custody after going to court and divorcing. He is still very disrespectful and rude and blames me   For destroying his family. He obviously moved on not so long after we broke up with An acquaintance of ours of all things. With COVID and the inflation, things are just so much harder, and I’m not okay, I feel depress and extremely overwhelmed. I try to so hard every day to work full time and I even opened at Etsy shop hoping that I will make some sales. I’m not staying put, I’m trying very hard. But I often wonder, I wish I had a partner or a helping hand. I see people winning the lottery big time like the Mega millions and I’m happy for that person but I always wondered  why it couldn’t have been me, I would do so much good . And I don’t even care about the full millions just with a couple thousand I would be happy.  I currently live with my 2 children, my mom And myself. I’m the sole provider and pay for everything. My mom got injured Cannot work. I feel like I’m falling, literally all the exhaustion and stress has me feeling sick all the time. I’m hoping that God brings me a lot of sales and I’m hoping things change, I’m trying very hard here.  Just need a little uplifting. Thank you for reading.

paypal.me/heyitsana

 

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Need rent and medical help quick!

Hello Hello, I have so many issues its hard to begin. I have been working my entire life. I worked in the mortgage industry until November 2021. My company closed the branches I worked for and gave me a 1 month severance pay. I applied for unemployment and was frantically looking for another job in my industry. The mortgage industry took a hit because of the rising interest rates. I didn’t get one reply from any banks or mortgage companies so I started applying for anything I thought I could do. I got no hits on employment. I could not afford my house anymore and lost it. My states rental assistance is a joke. We applied and did not not here from them for 6 months after repeated emails and phone calls. They finally replied and said they are no longer giving residents assistance. The state The rent here was way more expensive but I had to have somewhere to live. They are all over priced where I live. I do not live were there is public transportation and I could not afford to keep my car. So now I have no transportation. My unemployment ran out in April 2022. I had to use credit cards to survive. Of course I could not pay them now my credit is horrible. To make matters worse. My Dad who takes care of my mother who has Alzheimer’s had a diabetic seizure last Friday. They live one state over. The ambulance took him to the hospital which you would think he would be in good care. They did not have him on a fall precaution knowing he was confused from the seizure. He tried to get out of the bed to go to the restroom not realizing he had a catheter. He fell and broke his hip. Then they did not have compression leg sleeves so he developed a clot in his lungs. I am not able to go there to be with him and look over him as he is helpless pending hip surgery. My mother has been safely taken to a family friend but I need to be able to pick her up as well. I need to at least rent a vehicle to stay there until after his surgery and bring them back here until he gets better possible long term. I don’t want to bring them and I am not sure if we will have a roof over our heads as I need rent money. I need to rent a vehicle, we can sleep in the hospital until he gets out I guess. I need to call and ask them. Not sure if I will be able to keep my Mom in the hospital that long because she has Alzheimer’s she might become agitated. I ask for anything you can give. What ever you give is greatly appreciated how much you give is up to you.

Also please keep us in your prayers.

Thank you
paypal.me/garner2021

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Just Trying to Breathe a Little

Hi, my name is Dan, I’m 30 years old and honestly could use help with just about everything. Prior to leaving my last job in December of 2020, I actually – for the first time in my entire life – decided to try and address my mental health issues. First by admitting to myself that I had issues, then by seeking medical help.

Despite being prescribed anti-depressant and anti-anxiety meds, though, I continued to spiral. Between working a soul-crushing job – albeit an easy one – and trying to emotionally work through my grandma’s death and yet another failed attempt to connect with someone, it felt like I couldn’t stop the bleeding. So in a last-ditch effort to try and save myself and avoid acting on my suicidal ideation, I quit.

There was no relief. In the months that followed, my condition worsened so I was referred to a psychiatrist and therapist. I continued to pile up bills I couldn’t afford because unemployment wasn’t enough. I cycled through meds every month or two as nothing seemed to work. I began having panic attacks and violent outbursts whenever I sat down to apply for jobs. I stopped taking care of myself. And I watched my bank account slowly dwindle, knowing full well that when it hit zero, I was done.

That happened on December 20th, 2021. I was so broke I couldn’t even buy all my meds so I tried to pick what I thought were the most useful ones. But I couldn’t even cover that. So I had to rummage through my pockets for spare change. After that, I went home, went to sleep for the first time in over 30 hours, then tried to overdose when I woke up. Three weeks later, I was admitted to the psychiatric ward for the first time.

Last year wasn’t much better. I had several more failed suicide attempts. There was another hospitalization. There was an overnight observation because apparently they had nowhere to send me. I received two denials for disability because my issues are all mental health related, though, that’s pending a doctor’s visit next week for my back. I had to have my scope of care expanded a couple times. And I had to rely on my family and what government assistance I could get just to get by. Still, I never stopped looking for a way out.

Then, in October, a flat tire turned into a hole in the frame of my car. Which led to us discovering it not only needed the frame to be welded but also had several other issues. For me, that was almost the last straw. I’d been kicking things around in my head, wondering if it was worth it. Wondering if it wouldn’t be better just to end it and free my family of that financial burden. But I kept going back and looking at dogs up for adoption at the local ASPCA.

At the end of October, my parents helped me bring my new bestfriend home. And while he’s helped considerably – largely due to us always being together – finances continue to remain a major stressor.

My parents make sure the dog has food and toys. They give me a place to live. They buy toiletries and necessities for the house. They cover all the bills. They cover my car payments. Basically everything they can do, they’ve done. And then some. All so I can stay focused on my mental health and working through things.

As for me, food stamps allows me to eat. I continue to take my meds. I attend therapy weekly. I see my psychiatrist monthly. I’m about to start with a peer support program. And I managed to find a disability lawyer that will take my case.

Still, I would like to be able to lighten the financial burden for my family a little. We don’t know how much my car repairs are going to cost yet. But I do know there’s only $450 and some change left on my car payment. I also know I can’t afford my insurance next month or to put gas in the tank once it’s out of the shop because the last $20 I got from Christmas are going towards dog food (the rest went towards insurance).

I’m not asking for much. Just a bit to help over the course of the next few months leading up to my disability appeal. Anything helps, and thanks for taking the time to read my story.

https://paypal.me/MrT3nni3s?country.x=US&locale.x=en_US

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Newly pregnant college mama

Hello (: I don’t really know what I’m doing but I know I am not in a great financial spot! Thank you ahead of time for reading my story and thank you for anything you can do to help us!

I want to start by telling you about myself! I am 23 years old. I am currently attending college to get a bachelors in Marketing. The ultimate goal is to get a masters in design. I absolutely love designing logos, ads, shirts, etc. for businesses and individuals. I currently have a full time job doing accounting for a small business. I love my job, but it is not my forever career.

In August of 2022, I went through a traumatic experience. I was 35 weeks pregnant and had a high risk pregnancy starting at week 10. This was the first time I was pregnant and I was terrified through the entire experience. I had a great support system and an amazing team of doctors behind me. I was going to appointments every week sometimes twice a week. When I went to my appointment on August 25th I was told news what no mother wanted to hear. They told me there was no heartbeat and that I had lost the baby. I was told to go home and wait until a room was available for me. I was called to the hospital about 10 hours later and they medically induced me. I was in “labor” for 26 hours. I got to hold my baby for the next 12 hours and then I was sent home.

When I found out I was pregnant 2 weeks ago I was terrified and confused. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years and I have been on birth control since I lost my last baby. When my boyfriend found out he was scared and decided he couldn’t go through another loss, so he decided if I was going to keep the baby that we needed to take some time apart so he could decide if this is what he really wanted. I stressed myself out so much that I was having bad pains and ended up in the hospital. When I was sent home from the hospital, I was put on bed rest for the next few months. This is not an ideal situation for a 23 year old trying to graduate college, working a full time job.

I know for a fact that I am going to do everything in my power to give this baby the best life that I can. I have been trying to find side jobs that I can do from home to make some extra money to cover the costs of my doctors appointments.

I don’t want to ask anyone for help or for money but being on bed rest I am limited on my options. Anything that anyone can do to help me would be greatly appreciated. Again, thank you for taking the time to read my story, and thank you for anything you can do to help me.

paypal.me/urbanmama

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I Need Help, I Am Unable to Go Forward Without Help

My name is Krysta. I am a single thirty-eight year old woman. One flaw I possess and am currently working to overcome is my inability to ask for assistance before it is too late. I suffer from mental health issues, it has caused much distress in my life. I am currently unable to afford for my medicine or therapy. The community resource I was using for years as of last year stopped giving free assistance. I have not seen a doctor since last May. It is a constant internal battle and sometimes I just want to give up. Fifteen years ago I experienced a mental break and grabbed a gun to end my life, I was twenty-three years old. I called family members, the police were called and were on the scene while I held a gun in my hand threatening self harm. An officer felt he and his fellow officers were in danger and he did what he is trained to do and according to Texas law his actions were legal. I was shot in the face and in my left hand. I was formally diagnosed with Bipolar II and severe PTSD. Due to my poor choices that day and the officer having to intervene I was charged with a serious felony. I was given probation, while I did my best and achieved many accomplishments such as going to college, obtaining an upper management position in a large pizza chain and accumulating awards for my performance, living on my own, I was officially charged with the felony after 10 years to prison. I tell you that for a better understanding of my choice of jobs. I came home and saved up for the first car I got completely on my own. I was 35 and very proud of myself. I went back to the pizza chain for employment and was a driver and manager for a store close to home. I chose this because I can be an asset in the fact that I can do everything in the store and require no training. Plus delivering pizza can be profitable with experience and a good area to deliver in. It was great for me, I worked on my credit and was able to raise it 200 plus points. I did work very hard and sometimes I worked 7 days per week because the store needed it. I am dedicated to a job. I never thought I would learn a tough lesson, that even though you are hardworking and dedicated you are still replaceable and expendable. On a Sunday I came to work a little early to help a fellow co-worker get to work. I walked in on an inappropriate scene. My 32 year old male boss was engaged in a sexual in nature ordeal with a 17 year old female. I was asked to transfer to a store further from home, considerably. Both were to remain at the store. I was punished for coming to work early. I left the company due to the fact that my morals did not align with what I witnessed and how I was given no consideration. I need to let you know that our company was bought out by another company, the main boss retired and many long time employees left. This incident happened two months after.

I do sometimes regret my decision because opposing the morals of a company doesn’t pay the bills. I have looked for a job that was able to financially support me. It is difficult to do so with a felony record, but I have plans to go back to school and get more training and education to obtain a higher paying job. I have taken to dumpster diving not only to sell items I find but to take care of basic needs food, clothing, feminine products, hygiene products, etc. I fell behind on my car note for two months after always paying on time. I racked up almost 80k miles on my Chevrolet Spark, I called it my go cart. Great car for the purpose and maintenance was affordable. I had a difficult time by the end of this last year, many things were needing to be done brakes, tires, wipers, check engine light on, ABS light came on, etc. I finally found a job that was able to pay bills and with a second job i could get myself out of debt. I made arrangements to get my car note taken care of, made a payment. I was told I was not a candidate for repossession, and not to worry. My car was repossessed on Friday at 4:30am. If I don’t have a vehicle I cannot take care of myself. I am currently seeking employment for remote positions and have two interviews. But I am scared Ill be homeless and will lose everything. I am asking for help with anything like food, and help to get my car back. I was emailed an offer to make a payment plan with them and once the $941.00 is paid I can have it back, anything will be much appreciated. I am very embarrassed this is my current state. Thank you very much for taking the time read this.

I can provide proof of the car and its current state in regards to repossession. I am unable to resize the two other picture of my account to post. I can provide if asked through another channel. I also sell on a few apps, if you would like to help that way please ask and ill give my usernames for them.

My paypal is- paypal.me/kafreeman84

 

 

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Flight student

Hello my name is Matthew and I use to be a helicopter pilot. I have flew helicopters for about 10 years all over the United States. I have taught several how to fly them as a instructor and had so many good times doing it, but over the past year I have grown wary of them due to several accidents that have claimed the lives of good friends of mine. With that I have decided to step away from flying them because I want to be around for my wife and kids for a long time and to be able to support them. I still have a place for aviation in my heart though and have decided to move to the airlines were the industry has a much better safety record and the money opportunities are much greater. I have been sponsored by a regional airline and with there program to take helicopter pilots to get the training to fly planes. They have been helping pay for my training to make this happen however flight training is not cheep and it is not going to be enough. I am falling short about ten to fifteen thousand dollars of completing the hours required. Since I left my helicopter pilot job and moved into a job that pays much less I have been struggling to by all my bills and my credit has suffer from that. I no longer have the credit to qualify for a loan to cover this amount. I found this site and have decided to ask you for help and your generous donation to make this life changing event complete. It has been very frustrating to think of how much more I would be making as a airline pilot and it being just out of reach and in a way to show you that I would be internally grateful for your help I would like to assure you that I plan on repaying you by one day being able to turn around and help another person that is also struggling and show them that there are people that care and to not give up on dreams. This may be done in the same way you have helped me or in another fashion but I want to be able to help all the same if not more in the future as a silent way to say thank you. I am very grateful for your help and again thank you so much.

https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/msnider3035

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Falling short!

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Dear Sir/Madam,

Thank you for taking the time to read my story.

Please bear with me as I write this as I have never asked for help through a platform such as this. This is difficult but I feel I have exhausted all other options and not sure where else to turn.

My name is Martha and I live with my husband and 2 cats. My story begins back in 2014 when we moved into a cheaper apartment from a single family home, which I had hoped would help ease our financial burden, but no such luck. In 2015, due to poor financial decisions/moves, we went into chapter 13 bankruptcy for a period of 5 years and were discharged in May of 2020. Making those monthly payments was hard but somehow we made it through. We had hoped, coming out of bankruptcy, that things would be better, but with the loss of my dad in 2019, came loss of financial help and a substantial portion of our monthly income. That, coupled with sizable yearly rent increases, has led us where we are today, unable to to pay all of our rent. After my dad passed, we did get a small inheritance which we used to get out of debt, a move I do not regret. While I do have a full time job, my husband has been dealing with health issues which have left him unable to work, although he does collect a monthly SS check.

Over the years, it has became abundantly clear that we need to move to a cheaper part of the country, so in an effort to begin making better financial decisions, we will be moving in September.

In the meantime, we are locked into a 6 month lease and find ourselves unable to pay all of our rent. Our rent recently went up to 3300, of which we have 1500. We are in need of about 2000 a month for the next 6 months which is about 12,000. This will allow us to finish out our lease and move when it expires in September.

As I said, climbing back from bankruptcy has been an uphill battle but we are making moves, including educating ourselves on financial solvency, to make our future brighter than our past, we just need some help to get there. Sometimes it feels like it’s 1 step forward and 2 steps back, which is frustrating, but we are committed.

Thank you for taking the time to read this story and any help/assistance that could be given, would help and be much appreciated.

I am including a picture of my rent amount which does not reflect the recent increase to 3300.

Thank you again!

paypal.me/marzo70

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Financial assistance to secure a brighter future

Hello to anybody reading.

My name is Jaedan Ross. I am a 39 years of age and currently reside in Berkshire UK.

As a child i was sexually abused by my biological father and one of his friends. Through nightmares i remember how it started and what would happen when my mother was out at work. I have come to terms with this mostly but this still affects several aspcect of my life even today. i still have regular nightmares and wake up crying and then cant get back to sleep and sometimes i dont sleep at all for the fear of the nightmares waking me.

I have attempted to take my own life several times since the age of 15 i am currently in the headapce that i no longer wish to be alive. I cant take this feeling anymore and am begging for assistance to normalise my life as i cant face another 10 years in this despair.

I have been in several relationships that have all ended badly and made my mental health issues even more complicated than they were previously. I have Complex PTSD, deprerssion, Borderline Multiple Personality disorder, Diabetes and Hyertension more recently past 18 months i also suffer from bouts of Vertigo.

I have always worked but am not a very educated man. I worked in retail for a large chunk of my early adulthood and then from 2010 i was a care assistant looking after elderly clients with dementia and then adults with autism and severe learning difficulties. I am now working as a housekeeper ( room attendant ) in a large hotel but am struggling to make ends meet as these jobs are all minimum wage.

over the last 20 years i have taken out loans to please partners and had credit cards, once these relationships broke down i was left with debt that i was unable to satisfy and have now got several defaults and repossesions on my credit file. nobody would touch me with a loan and last year i entered in to an IVA, i am unfortunately struggling to meet payments for my regular bills and cost of living.

I presently over 19k to the IVA company and on top of this i borrowed money from my landlady £3600 and havent been able to pay rent for the 7 months i have lived here and right now this totals £2100, i also owe money to my grandarents who took money out of their pension with the understanding i would pay them back monthly and i havent been able to pay this back i currently owe them £5500, i also owe somebody who was a close friend £2500 which she loaned to me to hire the van to move me last june, covered my food and bills for the 2 months but this didnt stretch to my rent.

im worried that i will lose my friendship with my friend as she has been going through oesophogeal cancer treatment and has been unable to work. my grandparents are getting upset that i havent been able to pay them back and i dont know for how much longer i will have somewhere to live if i cant pay back my landlady and catch up with rent payments.

i would like very much to step away from lower paid work and train to become a registered nurse but to enable myself to do this i would need to go to college and sit my GCSE’S to enable me to get on to an access to higher education Nursing course and then to go forwards and do extra training to become an oncology speciality nurse for breast cancer.

while i am still plagued with debt i will never be able to better myself and change my situation to have a chance at a succesful future.

i hope there are people out there willing to help me with my situation and i thank you sincerely if you do.

paypalme/JaedanRoss83

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Addicted student help me pay rehab

I’m a 23 year old medicine student with a serious addiction problem/addictive personality. I was going to write a small piece of text explaining how I got to the low point where I am now, however writing it all down felt pretty liberating so I decided to make it a bit longer.
I am ashamed to be writing this ultimately asking strangers on the internet for money, but I really don’t see a way out of this that doesn’t involve me needing money to 1. Get help fast so that I can keep going with my study and 2. Get financial support for a month or three while I’m in rehab and need to pay my rent etc. I realise that addiction is something way different than what people usually post about on here, but I’m hoping my story will be understood and felt by some of you. I am asking for 5.000€ in order to go to rehab/get a good therapist and help me get through the coming months without financial stress. I promise that I will give it on to the next person needing help, once I’m graduated and am a doctor.

As I am typing this I feel that initial feeling of shame coming back again, but really lingering this time. Thinking about what my future will look like is hard nowadays. I guess that means I’m genuinely scared of how I’ll end up, I feel that I’m on my way to fail in life and I don’t know what to do about it, since it seems to be my character that’s changed. My whole life seems to revolve around two people who I don’t really recognise as me anymore. The version of me writing this to you, full of shame and self-hatred and the version of me drinking, doing all the drugs that he can get his hands on, not sleep for 3 days straight and ultimately blame everyone but himself.

I apparently knew I wanted to become a doctor before I could even pronounce the word stethoscope properly, my mom keeps telling me the story about how my brother and I would get throat and ear infections all the time when we were little kids and how big the difference was,  always, between me being super enthousiastic to go and my brother being horrified of the doctor’s office. I don’t remember those early visits to the doctor, but what I do remember is how I became set on a goal to get into med school quite early in life. I wasn’t the best student of my class in high school, I guess I was pretty average, I forgot to do my homework regularly and would only really get Good  grades for biology, physics and chemistry. Then again, I had the dedication. Those three subjects are the only three that you really need as a med student in my country, so I focused on those and it turned out I could easily  “remember” to do the homework for biology. I would even kinda enjoy doing it. Now this probably sounds like me having been a pretty cringy high school teen being arrogant and feeling too good for classes that I didn’t find particularly interesting, but I wasn’t like that at all. My parents are  lower middle class workers who didn’t have the chances to go to uni like I did. I simply wanted to succeed in getting there, studying, and everything else would follow I figured. After all I had real passion for biology and medicine, and I genuinely wanted to know as much about it as possible.

During The first semester of my first year everything felt new exciting and studying was easy. I really felt that I had found my passion and wanted to be surrounded by the atmosphere of the Academic hospital aa much as possible. Some people  get icky or nervous in hospitals, for me it’s the opposite of that, it feels cozy almost. Now that I think of it, I think I associate hospitals with my grandma, who was in the hospital a lot when I was young but notably was always in a good mood, I also remember how impressed I’d be when a doctor would come in to talk to my grandma or my dad, I guess these doctors, who were generally very kind, intelligent, authoritative men and women-and often acknowledged my existence and that of my brother by giving us a hand even before acknowledging the editors in the room. I think the firm handshakes of those doctors trained my brain to start associating hospitals with coziness. Anyway, you get the point, I liked studying there. Until the pandemic happened and my countries government decided, of course, that we(the students) had te stay in our tiny apartments/rooms for two years and spend our days watching livestreams of lectures. 
 
Now I really tried to do it. I really tried to watch the lectures, do the work and get up everyday while living alone in a city where I didn’t grow up, and moved a few months prior , But I couldn’t do it. The lack of human interaction and really just basic sensory input, drained the energy out of me. That’s when I started getting tired and decided there was no reason to get out of bed anymore, eating one meal a day instead of 3. I think  must have been a month into the pandemic when I gave up on the academic year, luckily I got a job at the covid-testing centre nearby, after about 6 months of being kinda depressed at home. Working was great to keep me occupied during the pandemic and I felt ok with failing the first year because I more or less thought and hoped that everything would be back to normal again the next.
 
As we all sadly know, this wasn’t the case, the pandemic lasted a whole ass year longer. I had to resume my study or give up my student housing, which would mean living with my parents again. Naïvely thinking I could change my way of living “over night”  I started my study up again and failed miserably again due to lack of concentración. I started to doubt myself and started to lie to my parents about how i was doing. I felt really lonely in those two years, I still do sometimes, because I don’t think a lot of people understand me I seem to have all the energy in the word when I’m with s group of people. Yet I’m feeling drsined when I’m alone sitting at my desk watching livestreams. A mother year passed and covid was finally over. That’s when I started to overcompensate…
 
What came next is addiction and hurting the people that love me by fucking myself up so hard that I didn’t’t care about life anymore. Why do I do this? I don’t know. It’s like every time I used something or drank a lot of  alcohol, my brain became more conditioned to be asking for dopamine repeatedly, to the point where I end up not sleeping for 3 days.
 
 I think if you’ve read this far, you’re thinking something in the range of “is this story going somewhere?” Or, “why is this relevant?. “ . It’s relevant because that’s how my brain works apparently. I can’t seem to focus on one thing too long, before branching of to the next one,
like the anecdote  I just randomly threw in about my grandma. In the paragraph I ment to put before this one but had to change because my strategy changes half way writing it. I also turn out to be really impulsive and extremely susceptible to addiction. I believe we can conclude from these three obvious  that I probably have an attention disorder. This has not been diagnosed nor confirmed by anyone even slightly qualified to do so, since I don’t think a doctor can help me figure out the mess in my head at this point, I’d need to be sober for a while to get diagnosed with Something. Wich is what I want ro work ro.
I’ve told you the story of why I think things went wrong with me. I haven’t told you how I’m gonna fix it yet. Here’s the problem, As I’m writing this I am coming back(sobering up) from 3 days of non stop-partying. I’m writing this with shaking hands on my phone, my vision is blurry and I look like a ghost because my face is white from all the blood vessels in my face being in vasoconstriction . The thing is, my impulsive brain seems to forget about the feelings of being a failure and the hope of still landing my study that I have as soon as I drink a few beers or take any drug, something many  functioning people  around me do. It’s normalised where I’m from, to the point that you see people using everywhere when you go out. The triggers are everywhere. I think the only way I can ever function as a doctor is if never use drugs again. But to get rid of that habit is gonna be extremely hard to do where I live that’s why I want to go to a rehab clinic far away. I really can’t make my parents pay, I know they will if I ask, but it’s a lot of money for them and I have already let them down so much. Which is why I decided to share my whole story here in the hope that someone rich could relate to it and help me out.
paypal.me/helppls59
 I need to get my life under control somehow, If anyone reading this has any good ideas/tips on how to tackle this pls send me an e-mail. I would love to hear ftom people who have experience with addiction/want to talk about their own similar problems With addiction/impulsiveness

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This isn’t something I wanted to do.

Hello,

I’d like to start off by saying thank you for reading this message. If you’re taking the time out of your day to read my story I appreciate you showing interest in my call for a miracle. I completely understand that not everyone that reads this is in a position to donate, but if you can please send a prayer my way I know in my heart that god will embrace me for who I am and not what I have done.

Life has been a constant test recently. I have found myself in a position where I’m in between who I was and who I am going to be. I’ve battled with consistency, honesty, selfishness and poor mental health ever since I could remember. To be honest, I can’t say I’ve been happy in over 15 years.

It all started with loss. I’ve lost jobs, loved ones, close friends, feelings, relationships, material items, morals and I am hanging by a thread to the point where I’m about to lose it all. I know that each individual faces problems equal to or much worse than mine and with that being said I’m not here to say my problems are anyone responsibility. I made poor decisions to get me in this position and I want to be honest for a change. As I take an over head view at life I know things will get better soon and staying positive will keep me on a steady pace to move forward.

 

In January of 2022 I attempted to take my life. I was caught in a life of substance abuse and terrible decisions. Within the span of 9 months I lost two people who I would consider friends and one close friend. The last person I lost was my grandfather at the age of 12 which put a 16 year gap between dealing with true grief. When my buddies passed, I coped just like any addict would and made a horrible decision to use. I had been sober from Xanax for seven years which I was immensely proud of, but my light in sobriety was soon consumed by an unimaginable darkness.

 

My best friend who I look at as my brother didn’t know what was going on inside me. I had him come by the house to hang out for the day. We had known each other since we were  seven years old and met in our grandparents neighborhood. We were the only two kids in that area so it was bound to be a friendship at some point. That friendship turned into him and I doing everything together and we maintained our friendship from kids to adults.

Everything was going well on the outside, but on the inside I felt hollow. Just a shell trying to figure out what to do to make me not feel this emptiness. I didn’t know what the night had in store, but I made a life changing decision. When we got the pills we knew something was off, they didn’t look “right”, but that didn’t stop us from taking them. The last thing I remember from that night was eating dinner on my couch with the ones I love the most and then as quickly as flipping a light switch, I woke up in jail.

I couldn’t recall a single thing after having dinner. So many questions were running through my head and I knew it would be awhile before I got answers. I had never seen jail as an experience that I would have to go through. After a few phone calls I got the questions answered which painted a rough image of what happened during the black out. I was not loyal to my significant other. As I was in this lost moment during the night, my girlfriend decided to check my phone as she had felt something was off. She found pictures of other women, her friends onlyfans accounts and conversations with women as well. It all went downhill from there.

 

After she found this secret I had been hiding from her our entire relationship, I grew enraged with a flurry of emotions. I had enough. I knew if I lost her I lost the other half of my heart. She ran to get my little brother for help. I grabbed the gun, racked the slide and had a round in the chamber. I was done with my life at that moment. As she made it down the hallway to get my brother, she told me she heard the gun go off.

 

When they came rushing back in the room I was on the floor, but I wasn’t injured. I’m not sure what happened, but while I was on the ground my eyes had flushed over with a grey hue. My brother ran to grab Narcan as they both believed I was over dosing on this mysterious pills. I was brought back and through the grace of god, he was by my side that night. It wasn’t my time to go. Once I regained consciousness, I took the keys and left. My girlfriend dialed 911 because she was very concerned about my safety and well being of others on the road. Luckily I was only a few blocks away from home when I was stopped and taken to the hospital. I can’t remember any of these events, but once I checked myself out of the hospital I was then taken to the county jail. I knew it was time to change.

 

I have been working on mental health by seeing a therapist which I am so thankful for. I know what I did was wrong and I’ve learned a valuable lesson from that night, but things still aren’t where I need them to be. I’ve been struggling to keep a steady job. My emotions have gotten the best of me and to make things more complicated, my best friend, my brother of 21 years, the same one who I took the fake pills with that night unfortunately passed last month due to a Fentanyl overdose. I lost my brother and I had to feel this one out. I told myself I wouldn’t let my addiction take me down the hole I experienced that night with him. I dealt with it much better than I thought I would, and it was a major accomplishment to not fall deep into addiction due to his passing.

 

I’ve been out of a job for the last month and honestly bills are catching up with me. I’m afraid I’m at the point where I’m going to lose it all, including the relationship with the woman I want to make my wife someday. She stayed by my side even after all the pain I caused. Luckily I landed a job starting this weekend and I am expecting a call from the owner of the company tomorrow with my shift details. I’m in between who I was and who I am going to be.

 

If you have the kindness in your heart and god calls you to this post for a miracle, I would be more than happy to accept any blessings put in my path. I didn’t want to make this post, but I believe god works wonders and has forgiven my for all my sins. I know he can see who I want to be. I’m trying and I won’t stop until I am happy again. Once again I thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my story and may god bless you and yours with open arms.

Past Due Rent and Phone Bill: $3300.00

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