PLEASE HELP!
Hi there! First and foremost, I want to thank you for taking a moment to read my story. I am in desperate need of financial help. I don’t know what to do anymore. I cry myself to sleep, my hair is falling out, and I can feel and physically see myself become a ball of stress and anxiety because of the situation I am in.
My name is Denise. I am a first-generation Mexican American daughter. I have a younger brother, and two hard-working parents. All my life I have been doing everything you can think of to help my parents. Translating, filling out paperwork, making appointments, I did it all. It has always been difficult for me to put myself first. I never complained. I did everything they wanted me to because they worked all the time to provide for us. I did very well in school. I got good grades to keep them happy and be proud of me, and I know they were. They never said it, but I like to assume they were. I doubt they are now. At least I don’t know. Don’t get me wrong, I love my parents, but I realize now I wish I could’ve put myself first back then, mentally and financially.
If I had a dollar for every time I worried about money, hell I wouldn’t be typing this letter. My father got very sick my senior year. He had liver cirrhosis. Doctors were unsure of how it developed since he was not a drinker or smoker. It began with jaundice and swelling in his legs. Months after months, he began getting weaker and skinner. He was a heavy-set man that completely turned into a walking skeleton. He was deteriorating in front of our eyes. And of course, life has to add cancer into the mix. He needed a liver transplant ASAP. Long story short, he got it. A month after I graduated high school. I thought life could only go up from here. Yeah no. I chose to not attend the college of my choice. My father needed full time care, and my motherneeded financial help. I know I could’ve and SHOULD’VE, pursued my education for a better life and future job but I felt like I had to stay home and help. What kind of daughter would I be, if I left my parents on their own, with no help?
Well, look at what that mindset has led me to. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t put the blame on anyone else. This is all me and my first generational guilt. But I am 27 now. I am in so much debt, having to provide for them and for myself after all those years. It has added up, and now that I want to start my own life, I simply can’t because I am barely making enough for rent and to feed myself. I can’t do it anymore. My parents can’t help. They’re just getting by themselves. Aside from my full time, Ido side jobs, I have sold items I don’t need/want anymore, hell, I even tried the whole social media influencer thing, which did not get me anywhere. I find myself having to choose between bills or food, and most of the time, bills win. I am desperate. I am ashamed and disappointed in myself. I hate the situation I’m in. I need financial help. I am begging! I wish for a new start at life. I want to go back to school. I want to be able to eat a meal and know that I won’t regret using the money for that instead of bills.
If you are still reading, I truly appreciate your time. I have never said this out loud to anyone. It feels good to get it off my chest. Currently, my debt is around 8,000 dollars. My credit keeps going down, so loans are not an option. I don’t expect to get all the money on here of course, but I need all the help I can get. Ifyou choose to donate, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. The day I am able to get out of this debt and have reached financial stability, I will definitely be donating to help others. Any chance I get.
https://paypal.me/ayydenise?country.x=US&locale.x=en_US