Hello my name is Anthony i am 37yrs old and divorced and have 3 daughter in witch the oldest who is 18 just had a child of her own so now I’m grandpa and 2 boys i have raised since they where born so they to are my boys. I’m not really sure how to do this or who this well reach so I’ll just leave that in God’s hands. Instead of telling you my whole life i well just start with the most recent of events n where i feel my life began again and ended in the blink of an eye. I was engaged to the most beautiful woman i have ever met in my life and to my surprise she chose me over so many other opportunities to be with a person who had the means to give a queen all she deserved. We have been together for 5yrs and on 8/19/2017 between 9pm and 10pm my fiance and it had a conversation i wish would have never taken place for in that Moment she believed i had fallen out if live with her and pulled out a small caliber pistol and was making it seem that if i where to leave her she would have no reason to be in this world anymore but if you got that chance to know us you would have known there would never be a chance of that ever happening. Needless to say at that moment i reacted by raising my voice and telling her “what are you doing ” as i went towards her before i knew it the gun had went off. As she reacted to the sound of the shot or even mabey my voice she had ducked forward rite in the path of the bullet. Since she had told me many times before that she might do something like that if i left she never really would do it. And even now i still don’t think it was intentional people tell me it’s not healthy or doing any good to blame myself but i keep thinking what if i had just stayed quiet or just assured her i wasn’t leaving or even waited to even have that talk. I have never found a more loving and giving and caring women in all the world she was a good send. I have tried to work in the past but she would always make me stay home eventually because she would hate that i would not be here when she got home from work. She made enough money to take care of us and our family that she made me the house husband. She was the best thing that has ever happened to me since the birth of my kids. With that being said when she passed we had not saved anything for bills or my child support payments or any of our bills do to that fact that she made money daily so we where always on time with our bills. And if that wasn’t enough our landlord has let our house go into foreclosure and still wants rent for me to stay till the beginning of October and to make matters worse me being a good person asked the hospital to contact her ex husband so that her kids could come to the hospital and say goodbye to her well since we weren’t officially married they had left all decisions you to her younger sister and older brother. And with out even giving her a chance they made the call to pull the plug on her and it was then that they left all other decisions up to her ex. Who has already said i would not be aloud at any service they have for her or giving any if her ashes because her family doesn’t have money and her ex has a business he took from my fiance in there divorce. So because he said he would pay for it all they have kinda just left me th off man out. But its only because they want to make sure he pays for everything. As of yet i have heard he is not having a service but planting a tree for her in his backyard and only having so many people over. Well i don’t think that’s rite and i believe my fiance disserves more then that she disserves a place where everyone who knew her can visit her and say goodbye witch brings me to why i am asking for help i am past due on my child support and being fresh out if court we are on a 12mo probation if I’m late or miss a payment they well send out a warrant for my arrest. My payments are $375 a month with all that has been happening losing our place i was planning on following my girl to where ever it was she was going to go. After talking to my sister i made her a promise i would go to Cali see my new grandson check in to the hospital she wants me to go to and continue to live my life better then we where we had so many plans and it all seemed so pointless i have asked my finance to talk to me and tell me want to do. And so i guess if i can’t be with her in death i would honor her in life and become a better person then i had ever been. And hopefully help someone along the way suffering from depression i well always listen now no matter what cuz you just never know when someone is crying out for help. Honestly i don’t mind going to jail for my child support i should have never out that responsibility on her like that. But i would be so great ful if someone anyone would be so kind as to help me give my queen a proper service. All in all i would need close to $10,000 to get my life back together and for her service at the very least. But even if i could get close to $3 or $4,000 at least she would get the service she so deserves. I could go on for days telling you how wonderful she was. I’ll never find anyone who could ever take her place. Thank you for taking the time to read my story and thank you in advance for any help i might receive from you.