I am quite depressed and I can’t even think clearly. I feel as if at the end of my life. I don’t even know where to start by writing this. I am currently overseas in the Philippines. I had planned on moving back to the United States in 2020. This was before the Covid-19 lockdowns had started. At that time I was already tight on money. But I thought I would be okay.
Then the lockdown restriction had been put in place. Which shut down all of the public transportation between cities. And that really hurt me. Now, what used to be a $20 bus ticket round trip to the immigration office in the capital, in Manila. Turned into $120 because I had to hire someone who had a car to drive me there.
At first, I thought that I would be okay. I hired a driver and I went there. We left at 4 in the morning and got there at around 8 am. There was a huge line, of about 100 people, out the side of the building and I got in it. After a couple of hours, I finally got to the front. Only to find out it was by appointment only. I pleaded with a guy but he couldn’t do a thing.
After I accepted the fact that there was nothing that I could do. I went back to where I was staying.
I woke up the next day and logged on to my computer to book an appointment. And found out there were no available appointments for the next two months. And the system did not let you book for dates past two months.
I was supposed to be on a 14-day lockdown anyways. So it was okay for me to wait some time. I checked throughout the day. Until finally, I got an appointment. That was about a month later.
Then, about a week before my appointment. There was a 30-day lockdown with heavy restrictions. Which had closed the immigration offices. And my appointment got canceled. So I waited.
After the thirty days had ended. I had gotten an appointment for next week. I hired a driver again and the same thing as before.
I got there around 7 or 8 am. And there must have been 300 people waiting in line. I was worried because my appointment was at 8:30 am. I went up to the guard at the front and showed him my paperwork, but he told me I had to wait in line so I did. When I finally got to the front of the line it was 2 pm. And they closed the doors. I was literally the next person to go in. I could feel the air conditioning when a guard would open the door.
They said that there were too many people. And that people weren’t listening about rules social distancing. I was so fucking pissed off. After I accepted I couldn’t get in that day I left.
I could go on. I wasn’t sure what to write. Maybe I wrote too much. But with all the months of lockdown which was something like 3 or 4 months of no traveling. And multiple months of waiting for an appointment at immigration. Have consumed all of my money. Covid started last year. It is 2021 now.
I haven’t gotten my stimulus from the IRS yet.
I have friends who have helped me out and kept me alive. But the month to month is too much to keep asking for.
They offered me a place to stay and could help me get a job but I need to get there first. That is all I want to do. Get back to the US and get a job.
I don’t know what to do anymore.
Anything would help.