On September 28th my whole perspective on life’s changed. I never thought I could love another human as much as I fell in love with my baby girl. When I first learned that I was pregnant I was in a very bad place in life. The begging of 2018 I learned my mother, who was my best friend, was a heroine addict. My mother has had a drug problem my whole life and had always had my brothers and I hopping from family member to family members homes. Which our family members were just as bad maybe worse on drugs then her. My father was no better either, he’s been in and out of prison/ jail my whole life and when he was out and around whenever I had something valuable he would steal it and sell it for drugs. Every time my mother gotten out of a rehab and was doing good for awhile we would create a bond so strong that even all of the ways that she couldn’t physically but mentally hurt me I would still call her my best friend to this day. With heroine being a common drug my family would use and watching what my family went through using heroine with my mother I never thought she would become a user. Finding out that she had I really started to act out. It was the beginning of my 10th grade year and i went from being an all day student with perfect attendance to never showing up to school and hanging out with the wrong crowd. I started the use of marijuana to numb my feelings and forget about my mom for awhile and it started to get so bad that I was angry and upset when I wasn’t high. My mom ended up leaving me and my brother at my grandparents home without any notice and that broke my heart to where I started an argument with my grandma and left and lived with my cousin and her mom. My cousin, her mom and I tried different kinds of drugs together and to be honest that’s all I wanted to do, I believe I was starting off the way My mother did. I cried a lot and was always depressed but it didn’t stop me from going out and “having fun”. Because my cousin and her mom were full of drama I ended up leaving there home and moving her n with my aunt and other grandma. While I was there I started to get better with going to school again but I was still smoking marijuana. I then found out I was pregnant and a couple weeks later I found the courage to let my aunt know. She wasn’t mad at me just disappointed. I then went to tell the father of my daughter that I was pregnant and later that night I went home to my aunts and when getting ready to lay down my grandmother came downstairs and started to choke me telling that I was stupid and the father was going to leave me and not help. I was really worked up about it and my aunt told her not to put her hands on me again but that was it. A few weeks later I was using the bathroom talking to my mom in the phone because me and her started to talk again and I hear my grandmother running up the stairs screaming “you dumb bitches around here always talking shit on the phones” she came in the bathroom started to smack me in the face, pulled me up off of the toilet and pushed me in the tub, I went to get up out of the tub and before I could push her and get around her she was punched me in the head a couple more times, I ran downstairs crying and packing my things, screaming I was going to call the cops on her and that I was leaving and not coming back. In the middle of it all my baby’s father came in and grabbed me and put me in his car and left. I had no shoes and a little bag of my clothes. My mom ended up calling the cops on her but nothing went from them just taking a statement. My mom was not including state at this point so I was basically trying to survive on my own. With no family that I felt comfortable with I ended back up at my cousins house. At my cousins house my baby’s father started to stay with me and ended up losing his job, one night he sold his speakers to make sure we had some food because my cousins mom was not helping me out. My cousins moms sister ended up stealing the money he had and his car. With her continuously doing this in the past to my mother and my cousin we knew exactly where she was at, my cousin took My baby’s father to the crack house and and he found his car. She had already spent all of the money. Coming to find out my cousin, her mom, and her moms sister planned to this to him the night before me and him left and lived in his car for a week before my school got involved. They wanted to talk to my mom Because they didn’t know of any residence I wasn’t staying at, I tried to leave the school that day without telling giving them an address because my mom didn’t know where to tell them and the school security pulled me and my baby’s father over before we could leave off of school grounds, he called my mother and she told him that I was allowed to Ben with baby’s father or go to my aunts, one of my moms sisters. The security officer them called his supervisor and mentioned that he had heard My mom was a user and even tho she didn’t sound high at the moment she could have been shooting up after and He preferred I went to my aunts house instead of leaving with my baby’s father. While going through all of this while being pregnant was really hard. I believe that being pregnant saved my life in many ways. I’m currently still living with my aunts and not attending school, but I’ve learned from my mistakes and to this day I’m choosing to make better decisions for the sake of my daughter. My aunt now had custody of me and I feel like I’m finally in a safe home, but I am in a situation where I have to take care of myself still. My baby’s father makes sure my daughter has diapers and wipes and i was given a bunch of clothes for her, but she is growing fast, some money for her some new clothes would be amazing and I am turning 18 soon so I will be getting government housing so my daughter can Rome around when she’s ready, money to make our home our own would be very appreciated, thank you for any help and reading My story.
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