Hello, my name is Chriss. And I am alive, for now that is. I am a 30 year old mother to three beautiful little girls, ages 4, 7, and 10. Everything I do is for them. I despise asking for help and as I no longer have any options here’s my story.
About a year ago, my then husband and father of my 3 children decided to have a quarter life crisis. He no longer wanted to be apart of our lives or have anything to do with us. Since then life has been a struggle. I was laid off due to Covid and spent everything I had in savings to make sure my girls had everything they needed. I am a full time mom, employee, and student. I am trying to do everything I can to stay afloat but I am no longer able too. My friends and family won’t help and neither will my ex-husband. I am behind on bills, can’t buy my girls new clothes for school and apparently make “too much money” to get any assistance.
Then about two months ago I was diagnosed with stomach cancer. This news literally rocked my entire world. I had to stop working as of August 25 which was when I had surgery. I have been out of work since then and will probably be out another month or two. I applied for disability but it isn’t enough to get buy. Soon I’ll no longer be able to pay rent or utilities. I am alive and want so much to be grateful that I am, but things just seem to keep piling on and I no longer feel like I can breathe.
I’ve always given back whenever I’ve been able to. And as stated before I despise asking for help, it hurts my heart as much as it hurts my pride. With all the debt I am currently in, I sometimes wonder if being here is enough. I am so tired of life and how it’s going that I truly wonder if it’s still worth living. I went from being a happy, hard working, loving person to a miserable, hard working, negative Nancy. The only thing that brings me any type of joy are my daughters. Faking a smile is easier when they’re around but I don’t want to keep having terrible thoughts. I want them to be able to have the things that they need and until i get over this mountain I’m afraid we’ll end up worse off. Anything helps and I promise that once my debts are paid I’ll give back anyway I can.