Greetings!

I am a 36-year-old musician and painter. I went to college for vocal music performance but did not finish my degree. I was working three jobs and bills were catching up. Since then I have worked jobs in the service industry, private voice lessons for children, security and church. I am a part of a band that is slowly making progress, but our payout leaves each member with a small take home (we have 9 members). A second band I belong to is just starting out so our payout is minimal to none.

Once covid hit, all musical performances stopped along with the rest of the world. During that time I picked up painting as a hobby and have attempted to turn it into and keep up with it as a business by attending local vendor markets. Sadly, it has not brought me any significant income and now the state is charging me outrageous amounts of money in taxes.

In 2021, my son Kendrick was born. His mother and I are not together, but we try to make things work for him. Between keeping up with his bills (child support) and paying rent, I have fallen on hard times. I have been resilient in keeping my abilities and dreams to work for myself alive. Each month I struggle to pay bills but by the grace of God and the universe I manage. However, each month presents a series of uncertainties.

My car is on its last leg, so I try not to drive it carelessly. I sleep on my son’s mother’s couch Sunday through Wednesday to take care of him, leaving me 3 days to make money. We cannot afford daycare. My bands are not performing every weekend and unfortunately no one is supporting artists anymore. Vendor markets are a “hit or miss” and I am paid once a month by the church I work for.

I am continuing my fight to live and care for my child, no matter what circumstances are thrown at me. If there is anyone out there that can help with some of these financial worries, I would be more than happy to create a painting and send it to you! Thank you for taking the time to read this and taking my situation into consideration. You can find my Instagram for my art at MosArt1987. Thank you and many blessings to you and yours!

https://paypal.me/MosArt1987?country.x=US&locale.x=en_US

Hello I am a single father of two teenagers I have been looking for a job for over 6 months now. I am a RV Tech and luckily have had a few side jobs to make it to this point I am not very good at asking anyone for help. I have never needed help like this before. I don’t understand why I am having such a difficult time locating employment. Normally it takes 1-2 days and I have another job. My house note is due I have till the 16th before it defaults all my other bills are past due. I really don’t know what to ask for. My bills are around  2500-3000 a month  so 36000.00 a year. I am trying to start my own business but it’s hard trying to advertise or go give estimates with zero gas or money to spare. I’m asking for 72000.00 to cover My children and me for the next 2 years while I establish my customer base. I want to thank anyone that can help out and anyone that can not help out. I know now how it feels to struggle day to day. Thank you again

https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/calhoun1313

My Best Friend / fiancé died on Oct 26 2022. I am 33 been married and divorced. I have a 8 year old and 6 year old. In 2012 I was 22 years old. That’s When I realized that I had a serious mental illness that has been  holding me back the majority of my life. I never seen a therapist, I was constantly punished. I was also verbally and physically abused as a child. My dad was bipolar, an addict and had anger problems. I didn’t know how to feel or how to express myself as a young kid. I was scared. I had bad vivid Nightmares every night. I was filled with timidity, fear and extreme anxiety by Jr. high. It affected me trimidously as a kid and even more as a single Dad in my 30s. I was diagnosed with ptsd, extreme anxiety disorder, and prescribed medicine to help treat signs of skitsophrania and paranoia. After becoming an adult, I was having trouble focusing, keeping jobs and just wanting people to see me as a normal person that didn’t have mental issues and over all, I wanted to feel like everyone else. Happy, Content, responsible, financially stable, or just being comfortable or not having extreme social anxiety and always feeling fearful of  everything, everyday. I wanted to feel accepted by society. But I was the reason, my childhood was the reason and my mental state was getting worse.  I witnessed one of my role models, best friends and father figure (myUncle)  get hit head on, on a Honda VTX 1800 motorcycle. and his body thrown 60 ft. Killed on impact at 33 years old, then my parents divorcing on my sweet 16 Depression began to get bad. Had suicidal thoughts especially after my divorce in 2020. Then in 2021 Got with a good friend I use to work with. We fell in love and moved in together. I felt like I had a family again. I felt loved, she made me happy, she cared about my mental state and was slowly making it better just by being around. Most of all she was great with my kids. She had been in a though spot as well. We leaned on each other through this time. Voicing our thoughts and Sharing our love and offering a shoulder to lean on. After about a year in a half things were still going well. She had seizures every now and then since she was born. One day when she was by herself at the house in the bathtub, she had a seizure and drowned. Since October 26 2022 I struggle every day more and more with my mental health. I take Benzos and antidepressants, and whatever my crazy medicine is called.  I been feeling alot of fear, depression and  bad panic attacks and anxiety. They cut my hours at work due to mental health and I’m becoming more and more suicidal. The financial burden my mental illness has put on me is devastating. Everyday trying scrape or find money for food and toiletries. I pay rent, a car payment, phone bill, water, electric. And pay 120 dollars child support every week, while keeping my kids 6 months out of the year. I just want to feel happy and financial issues are keeping me from doing that at moment. I’m a good Dad that loves family and his kids.  I just think having a little money to catch up and pay some things off would help my kids and I tremendously.  Us being in a 1 bedroom apartment I have got to get a bigger place for me and my two kids. But it’s honestly the last thing that might keep me alive and get me out of this mental rut. I work 38 hours a week and make under 500 dollars a week after my child support and everything is took out. I want to be a Fun and better Dad. I want to have a good personality  that gets people attention. I want to have money to do things with my kids and travel.  Most of all I want to be Happy for once. Wondering if my kids are happy or if they wonder what’s wrong with me.  Before it’s too late, maybe a financial blanket would take stress and pain and anxiety off my mind. I been Pretending to be happy for my children but I feel like a rock stuck in the cracks of the sidewalk. And my kids are starting to see I’m becoming empty inside and quiet. If anyone could help that would be amazing. If not a prayer would work as well. Anything to help me Be myself and lower my anxiety, ptsd, and mental issues.

Thankyou and god bless.   Cash app #CBaldridge11               ~Respectfully  Corey B

Hello. As one who didn’t know want until I separated from my narcissist wife, I need to thank you for the hope you provide to people on this platform.

Today, my need is so great that I don’t know where else to turn.

For reasons unknown to me, I have lived a truly extraordinary life, just not in the way that you yourself might hope to live.

I’ve tried so hard for things to work out well for me and my children. But because enough of the people who have been closest to me depleted me emotionally, and because I fell through almost every conceivable crack when it came to the help I might have otherwise received from organizations, I have known catastrophe for most of my 54 years.

Please allow me to explain, as relating no one event in my life can begin to paint the picture for you.

1. Because my maternal grandmother shamed my biological mother into putting me up for adoption, I was adopted through Lutheran Social Service, and was raised by two people who tried their best, but whose emotional intelligence could not fill a thimble. Dad was the most angry, backbiting, cynical farmer in our neighborhood. And Mom was just as quick to cut another person down, though her backbiting came from a place of extreme personal insecurity.

I am a survivor of institutional negligence.

2. I was in the gifted and talented program at my school through 2nd grade, wherein I was essentially educated as a 3rd grader. I had no technical aptitude to please my parents on the farm, but I excelled in the classroom.

After 2nd grade, my school closed, and I was transferred to another school. The records of my gifted status did not follow, and I got to repeat the 3rd grade over, despite successfully completing it the year before.

My parents provided no support with which to correct the mistake. The result? On the very first day of 3^rd grade at my new school, the love of learning was sucked right out of me. I wouldn’t recover educationally until my junior year of college.

I am a survivor of profound parental and institutional failure.

3. By the time I was 9, Dad started to expecting more of me on the farm. But no matter how hard I tried, it usually ended the same: raging at me that I was no help to him, and sending me to the house in tears, where Mom would tell me, You know, if you really cared about your father, you’d be out there trying to help.

I am a survivor of my parent’s continual emotional abuse in the form of gaslighting and scapegoating.

4. My mom would continually shift expectations at home, creating an emotionally unstable environment for all of us. Best examples:

Throughout my childhood, I begged my mom to be in Boy Scouts, as I knew it would be good for me, but she refused.

In 8th grade, I begged her to let me try out for the basketball team. I sucked ass, but Coach said I could have a spot on the C Squad.

When I got in the car, I told her with the very height of excitement.

I’m not going to take you to basketball practice every day after school, she said.

I am a survivor of my mother’s emotional abuse in the form of crazy-making.

5. These things continued all the way through High School. (Ask me to share a call w/ you about Grand Canyon circa 1983 or so and I’ll curl your toenails.)

I remember sitting on my bed just prior to graduation, summing up the whole of my life. I knew three things to be true about myself:

1) Whatever the work was, I couldn’t do it.

2) I could not love.

3) I could not be loved.

I knew those things to be true all the way down to the bottom of my feet.

I am a survivor of emotional abuse and abandonment and self-harm via negative, reaffirming self-talk. If not for the fact that I grew up on super-hero comic books, I would have neither a morality or any optimism whatsoever that my situation could improve.

6. I would be easy pickings for Christine, to whom I was not attracted whatsoever.

She preyed on my loneliness and my capacity for empathy, giving me sob story after sob story, until after the third night, I let her into my apartment. We talked some, she made advances, and we made out.

It felt like love, so we started going out. In no time whatsoever, she turned on the heat sexually, and it was over.

I am a survivor of emotional abuse via love-bombing and trauma bonding. (Look it up. It’s a thing.)

7. For the next 30 years, we attended church and marriage counseling and every marriage seminar under the sun to understand the wall between us.

For the whole of those three decades, my own wife gaslighted and scapegoated me, and because of the cognitive dissonance her blame-shifting caused me, I could not see it for what it was. I went entire years, from 2010-12 specifically, uncertain as to what degree I had a grip on reality.

I wouldn’t realize the extent of her narcissism until after I was laid off in 2017 and did a deep dive as to what was getting in the way of us enjoying a fruitful marriage.

All told, I am a survivor of five decades of emotional abuse.

8. When I took the matter of the shipwreck of my marriage to my pastor, a conservative Baptist, he told me I was reading too much Psychology and not enough Scripture.

I am a survivor of spiritual abuse. (To this day, I cannot set foot in a church, and I’m okay with that, as my understanding of faith and personal agency has broadened well past my earlier notions.)

9. I have taught high school English for twenty years, both in public and private schools. I believe I made the biggest impact with students who are at risk not to graduate (for reasons I’ve already explained here).

But in 2008 and again in 2017, I was laid off from work, leaving me to scrounge for whatever FT job was available.

I am a two-term survivor of vocational trauma (for lack of a better term).

10. In 2019, I respectfully wrote, under the umbrella of the mutual rights policy there at Mayo Clinic, asking if upper study team members might dial down the intense micromanaging that my cohort and I were experiencing.

I was scapegoated, given the most grievous discipline a person could experience without being outright fired. I received a 2-year black mark on my record, making it impossible for me to transfer out of this toxic department.

How toxic? I was the 40th to leave a department of 14 people in the six years that my supervisor ran the department.

Her boss knew of the troubles we were experiencing, but we kept turning out the studies.

I followed the policy to the letter, but the Appeals Committee upheld the discipline 9-0.

That Mutual Rights policy? It’s there for show. Peons have no rights there, and I learned the hard way.

I am a survivor of psychological abuse in the workplace. (Look up “workplace bullying.” It’s a thing.)

11. Trigger warning. (If you yourself have experienced emotional abuse, and you have yet to fully recover from the trauma, you’re going to want to skip reading this one.)

After my defeat at Mayo, my doctor put me on a two-month-long short-term disability leave for major depression and anxiety. I believe he saved my life. But it was early into my leave when my wife started to exhibit behaviors beyond anything I’d ever experienced before.

Emotionally and physically, I was like a zombie, overseeing my boys August while Christine went to work. She would ask me to do some chores throughout the day, which I agreed to do. On three separate occasions in two week’s time, this phenomenon occurred, all according to the same script.

She’d come home shortly after 5:00. The boys, 10 and 8, would be playing in the living room, just off the kitchen, where I would greet Christine.

She would ask about the chores, and on these three occasions, I shared how I got them done except for one, and that I was planning to get the last one done after supper.

(Note: my problems with chronic fatigue had been known to Christine for years by this point.)

She would ask how it is that I couldn’t get all of the chores done, what with all the time I had.

I tried to explain the best I could, then she would ramp up with volume and intensity, asking the same thing.

This continued back and forth until she was nearly yelling at me, with me pleading with her, Why are you getting so upset?

Then she would rage, which had from my youth always been a trigger of mine.

I don’t know if you know much about PTSD or Complex PTSD. But it really challenges the notion of free will for the sufferer in that moment of trigger. One’s menu of options collapses to either fight, flight, freeze, or faint, with no ability to do anything else.

Without thinking, I watched myself speed-walk out of the kitchen, past the boys, who heard this entire exchange, out the front door, and ran like a man on fire across the front lawn, the street, and park across the street for two blocks, until I was completely out of breath, with my subconscious screaming at me, I matter! I matter! I matter!

Again, this happened three times like clockwork within two weeks. But I was too depleted emotionally to do anything about it.

Then a few days after the third instance, after putting the boys down to bed, she told me:

I asked the boys today if they were afraid of you. They said yes.

That’s when I knew. That’s what I knew that my wife, my life partner of three decades, had exploited my C-PTSD in order to alienate my own sons from me. Wind him up and watch him go.

I am a survivor of emotional abuse in the form of parental alienation. May you never experience such heartache and sorrow.

12. Two months later, I escaped. But nearly all of my close Christian male friends, all of whom knew the sordid details, judged me and condemned me to abject loneliness in my greatest time of need, emotionally speaking.

I am a survivor of spiritual abuse and abandonment by those I trusted.

13. I reached out for help to various agencies in town, they’re all geared for women. And because men who have been emotionally abused, politically speaking, I’m a unicorn. I don’t exist.

I am a survivor of institutional betrayal of the highest magnitude.

14. Some people have a messy divorce. My ex weaponized the divorce against me, all because the courts favor women, and my abuser can lie as well as I can tell the truth. And in the midst of Covid, when no one was hiring, Christine lied about our financial situation, making it impossible for me to access funds that were mine to live on. I continue to live out the fallout of her lies to this day.

I am the survivor of financial abuse.

15. Seventeen months ago, I was training for my life insurance license, but I had zero capacity to recall what I was studying during the quizzes, regardless of how many times I read the materials.

My neurologist concluded that I have Post-Concussion Syndrome, but not for having my bell run. People who experience long-term emotional abuse can be likewise impaired.

I am a survivor of neurological damage as a result of decades of emotional abuse. My condition has worsened to where I can no longer manage well enough the simple details involved in delivering for DoorDash.

————————–

If I hadn’t taken an unorthodox route to heal emotionally and psychologically, and the dozen or so providers who have helped me, I do not believe I would be alive today.

I have no family outside of my kids. And because no support exists for men who have been abused by their wives, and because most of my friends left me after I separated, I made some significant financial mistakes, none of which can be reversed.

I used my 401K and Teachers Retirement money to pay bills and survive during Covid and since, but I still owe tens of thousands for lawyer’s fees and doctoring, and I have no idea where my next month’s rent is coming from.

I’ve applied to the County for emergency assistance, but with the bills I owe, and the cost of living here in Rochester, I’ll only get further underwater over the next year while waiting for Disability without help.

Please help me and my family. My lads and their older sister mean everything to me. They are my greatest earthly treasures.

One day, I hope to write about my experiences to advocate for others who have had experiences similar to my own.

But for today, I need significant help in rebuilding after this, my lifelong catastrophe.

Thanks for reading,
Chris

https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/chrisedwardjensen

Hello everyone, my name is Kyle! I am in my last year of school with just about 4 months left until graduation, and I have a happy baby boy of 6 months! Unfortunately it’s just us two now making our way through the world and we’re having some issues with our finances. There is light at the end of this tunnel and I keep my head held high, but we are in need of help to get to the finish line. I am asking for donations to help pay for our rent and bills so that I can finish graduating and we can keep our home and not have to move. All donations go straight to our living situation. I graduate this coming August, and have a career path set with positive growth. Unfortunately, my sons mom left us and with my little income I cannot make ends meet on my own while being a full time student, and now a single poppa. It’s a far stretch to ask strangers for help but it’s my last attempt.

Thank you for your considerations.

https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/Zythoren

Hi im a single father of 2 just these past two years have been hard on me and my kids with there mother cheating drugging me and many other things me and my kids moved forward i legitimated them and got full custody the mother has made it her job to not be found for child support and she hasn’t even sent sock . but 3 moths ago i was pulled over going to a neighboring county where my mom lives with my kids i was pulled over harassed and assaulted by police which 3 days later after released it was mistaken identity the women who id me later said it was her boyfriend. my truck was towed and it took me 3 weeks to find it because they called a private tow company and the police knew i would pay a high storage rate when i found it my fee was 1200. i tired everything even gave them 200 i have 8 day or they told me they will crush it never had a father figure in my life so my uncle was before he passed he left me this truck that all i have of him. the police department don’t care lawyers said get a loan im broke cause of mistaken identity and no truck to work i own a furniture assembly company but cant work with my truck. if u could find it in your heart to help us and get us back on our feet i will do everything in my power to pay it back.

https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/duurty55

Dear Stranger,

I am a 36-year-old single father of three teenage daughters. I have never been in this position before, and if you are reading this, thank you, even if you do not donate. I have been raising my children by myself since my youngest was 3 months old, she is 11 years old now. When I saw by myself, I truly mean that, their mother I believe suffered from postpartum depression left 3 months after we had our last child together. She went on to go down a rough road of addiction and we have not heard from her in 6 years. Their mother’s side of the family has no contact, and I would not even know where to begin to look for them. My side of the family is nonexistent, my mother passed away in 2007 just four days before I found out I was going to be a father for the first time. My brother is on and out of jail, and the one time I tried to help him as well as have him help me, he moved in with me to help with my kids while I worked full time and also attended college part time. He sold drugs from my house, and I was busy with work, school, and my children when I was home, I was just to blind or maybe just to stupid to see it. The police kicked in my door and arrested him in front of my kids while I was in class one day. When I talked to my children to make sure they understood what had happened, my oldest came forth to inform me she was glad he was going to be gone. She told me that he would always be sleeping leaving her at the age of 5 to take care of her sisters, and that if they woke him up, he would awake in rage and hit them. Needless to say, I have not spoken with my brother since. My father has always treated me as if I did not matter and he has always been focused on my brother more. I have no proof of this, but I am pretty sure my mother cheated on my dad, and he does not believe I am his child as that’s how I feel he has treated me my whole life. He has never even attempted to get to know my children. With all this all my children and myself have had is each other, they don’t know what it is like to even say “Hey grandma” or “Hey grandpa”. Now I am not telling you all this for you to take pity on me or to pull at your heart strings, I am telling you this because even with all that I have always maintained, always managed to provide all I could. I have always kept a full-time job, as a matter of fact I was with the same local restaurant for 14 of the last 17 years. The family I worked for helped me out a lot as far as being understanding of my situation and ensuring me that my job was safe even during times when I would have to miss work due to children being sick or working with my schedule, so I never had to miss a single milestone. I returned that energy by truly caring about that restaurant as if it were my own. They were never able to pay me the best being a small business, but they truly showed they cared. They also taught me a great deal about the restaurant industry, which I hope to use to open my own one day. Sadly, due to Covid they were forced to close their doors which was the start of the downhill spiral that has me here writing this. With all this being said I don’t want someone to pity me, I just need someone to believe in me enough to help me get back to even. After the restaurant closed it has just been set back after set back. I caught covid and that had me down for a solid month, not even a month after I feel better from that I broke my ankle. At this point I am behind on everything, but I did get a job training to be a manager at a Pizza Hut that I got to work for 2 weeks after my ankle healed. Then my car broke down and none of it was covered under warrantee, I had no way to get to and from work, so I lost that job. That leads us to where I am at now, I am over $3000 behind in rent, water, gas, electric could all get shut off any day and honestly, I just feel lost and don’t know what to do. I have gone to local organizations that help with things like this but have been told at almost every turn they are out of funding. I found this website after googling “Is there anyone that can help me”. Again, please don’t read this as I am just writing out a sob story, please read it as a man, a father not knowing where to go or what to do, and as I said just reaching out for anyone to believe in me to reach back and help or give guidance to get me back on track.  Thank you and God bless.

Sincerely,

A father in need of belief

https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/MMathie713

My Story

My name is Nathaniel. I came from a fairly decent home, had both parents equally involved in my life and I was happy, for the most part. I grew up with two sisters and one brother. We lived in a three-bedroom, one bathroom home when I was young. About 7 years old, we moved into a more comfortable home in a quiet neighborhood, and then we upgraded down the street when I was about 11. Anyways, I grew up with great friends (not very good influences, but nonetheless) went to a public school and graduated. I worked with my father once I turned 18 and was blessed with a 10-acre property that my grandfather had made a life-estate for me. My grandfather, bless his soul, was battling alcoholism, a form of dementia, and a divorce all at the same time. His ex-wife had left him with a hollow hole in his heart and he was struggling with an enormous amount of health and mental problems, all the while she robbed him of his money and abandoned him when he needed her the absolute most. I remember him telling me “Never get married, sign a prenuptial agreement, don’t let any woman take your money” I lived with a best friend for a while (call him Frank) and an ex (Call them Leila) who are now in a relationship (very disappointing). I assume they were doing things behind my back in this home. I struggled to pay the bills on this 10-acre property, as well as keep up with the work on the home. My grandfather used the property to raise farm animals, which was nice but overwhelming. I began a constant use of alcohol to cope with the re-occurring problems of credit card debt, relationship problems, and home-remodeling problems as well as work stress due to my job being very manual-labor intensive. My best friend Frank ended up moving out because I had told him to get his cat fixed due to his cat peeing all over my home, and my ex-girlfriend Leila had left due to the constant alcoholism and problems that arose. My family very rarely helped me financially or physically with the home, and they were rarely there. I still am confused as to why they would invest in such a property and then allow it to fall apart due to a young adults’ inability to maintain the property. Nonetheless, I was blessed, and I didn’t realize it at all. So, my ex-girlfriend moved out around January of 2021, and this is when things really started to get bad for me. Nothing could prepare me for what was to come. I’ll get right to the point.

The Black Witch

March of 2021, I met the most wonderful woman (Call her Paige) on a dating app. She was beautiful, interesting, innovative, spiritually perfect, smart, a hard worker, all-in-all I believed she was truly my soulmate after spending time together. I moved her in fairly quick, as I needed help with my bills, and she was living in a horrible apartment about an hour away from me. We decided it was better to live together as to save money and time. In the first month alone, she began cleaning my home, cooking me dinner, making the house a literal home. She took care of the livestock, would bring waters out to my grandfather and his workers when they would come up, would garden and do housework. She was amazing sexually, emotionally she filled me up, and mentally I was strong as could be. It didn’t last long, of course. About two months in, she began demanding more from me. She was separated from her ex-husband who was still in the military at the time. She would go on for quite a time telling me about stories of abuse, cheating, lying, and other types of things. Of course, this gave me the initiative to play the ”hero” role, looking back I was a fool. Anyways, her true colors came out one lovely day in May. We were just getting ready to go to the general store downtown. Her sister calls, stating that “My boyfriend is having me jumped at a gas station, I need you here now Paige!” We rushed to the gas station, Paige was screaming at me pounding the dashboard and telling me “Hurry up!” Cursing at me, I pushed this aside because I understood her desire to be there for her sister. We went to the gas station and her sister was bloody. Fingernails falling off, bruises all over her, and serious concussions. A lot of her belongings were stolen as well. Paige refused to accept these conditions, and practically forced me to take her and her sister to the home. I kept telling Paige “Please call the police, they will handle this correctly” but she refused and took justice into her own hands. I drove to his house, foolish mistake. They both went inside of the home and began taking “her sisters” things out of this home, or so I believed. We ended up filing a police report and taking her sister to the hospital. Afterwards, we went home and held onto her sisters’ belongings for her.

A week later, the police department is reaching out to Paige and trying to confirm the story of what happened. I had taken Paige down to the police department, at which point the Chief began reciting Paige the Miranda rights. I was absolutely shocked to find out the belongings she took from the home were apparently stolen, and I was distraught because Paige was now being turned into police custody. My entire weekend was filled with crying, drinking and anger as I drove around town furious that such an injustice could be done upon Paige, an “innocent” young woman. Yeah, right. She was arrested on a Friday, and her sister cleared her name on a Monday morning which surprisingly her sister was sent out on her own recognizance. I begged my father to pay Paige’s bond, she was facing two felonies and one misdemeanor. After a lengthy day of begging with him, he told me it was a horrible idea, but he finally gave in. We paid a bondsman close to 1,500 dollars to get her out that Monday evening. I remember her running to me out of the jail, hugging me intensely and crying, thanking me for helping her. Now we had to face the charges head-on, which looking back, was ridiculous.

Her grandmother died the same week she was released from jail on a bond. I can remember the whole week, I slept for maybe one day. I was so concerned with Paige’s’ mental health and her freedom, on top of that I was busy consoling her with all of the crises’ she was facing, it seemed like a never-ending battle. I ended up pulling some credit cards together and paying a top-notch lawyer $5,000 to fight her case, at which later it was dismissed. I can still remember her being ungrateful for me not being in court with her that day, being ungrateful that I wasn’t there on time to pick her up. I really started to notice the red flags, but I was so swooned over her, so head over heels that I couldn’t begin to let this girl go.

We fought, but what couple doesn’t? I began pouring myself into her, financially, emotionally, physically and mentally. I spent another $1,500 to get her lawyer to file a protection order against her ex-husband, which was granted due to her claims of abuse and stalking (which I don’t know if any of it is true to this day). They had agreed at the police station to a dissolution of marriage, while he was giving some of her belongings back. I was never warned from this man to fear her until much later down the line, once the damage was done. I would spend whatever on this girl just to keep the love coming that she had to offer but would withhold it if I didn’t meet her demands, I was too young and inexperienced to notice this early on. I was throwing out money for her wisdom teeth, for clothes and furniture and food, for vacations, everything you can think of. There was a constant of manipulation, gas lighting, blame shift, triangulation, isolation, all sorts of abuse I was unable to recognize as I was so inexperienced in relationships. By the time August came around, every one of my credit cards were overspent and I was financially in shambles, but I still believed her to be my true soulmate as the connection we had was out of this world, or so I believed. I was overwhelmed with finances, mental and physical angst, and the alcoholism didn’t help me recognize any of the bad patterns. I was once told by her “I am a borderline with personality disorder” at which I responded with “I’ve met crazy before, I can handle you I promise”. Boy, was I dumb. That should’ve been my opportunity to run away as fast as possible. You’d think this is a normal love story, but it gets worse.

I was furious one night, as I was having trouble conforming to a new job with miserable co-workers and I felt stuck in life due to the financial impulsivity between both of us. I was drunk and foolish, and I had left the house to drive down an old dirt road. To my surprise, a state highway patrol officer was waiting at the end of the road, with a truck broke down. I had an open can in the cup holder, and I tossed it in the back. Safe to say, I was charged with a D.U.I and was put on probation for six months as well as had to get an interlock on my vehicle for six months and undergo some substance abuse classes. This put even further stress on me, as I barely had enough money to get by as it was. Now I had to put out even more money for my own foolish mistakes. Even worse, my grandfather passed in October, a literal day before my birthday. It just seemed like things were getting worse and worse, but I was stuck on this belief that Paige was the light behind the darkness. I fought with my family hard about the property, the livestock, things on the property, attorney fees, all these types of things. It was a nightmare I was living in, and I had to keep a miserable job, so I didn’t go to jail.

Months went by, and December was when I listed the house for sale with a cruddy realtor who took total advantage of someone who knew nothing of real-estate. I ended up cashing out about 165k on the ten-acre property, which looking back I could have made a lot more from this, but I was so desperate to get out of the home and stop spending money on it. My septic tank was failing, and my water line was busted so I was putting out money I didn’t even have. Paige was working an at-home job with a shopping company, and we were barely getting by.

Anyways, we moved into a very small home in the city, a much more manageable home for me and the bills were cheap. I began paying off a lot of my credit, furnishing the new home, painting and making a comfortable space for us to live in. She purchased all of the belongings on her accounts, though all of it was spent from my bank account. Stupid right? I really started noticing things, as this was February of 2022. She would become furious when I would refuse to spend money on useless belongings, even if I assured her that we could come back later on and purchase them. I still was pouring myself into her just to get breadcrumbs of love that I was so used to having in the beginning. Things just weren’t the same. I even paid for her divorce, which was another 5 grand.

This is about the time I found out she was pregnant. I didn’t believe she could even GET pregnant, as that’s what I was told. For over a year we tried, but it wasn’t working (which I was grateful for). She had PCOS, a past of miscarriages and mental health issues but I was willing to work with her as I loved her so much. I pleaded with her not to keep the child, as I was worried about her physical and mental health as well as my mental and financial health.

We fought for weeks about this until March 17th, 2022. The night before, I was of course drinking, and she was complaining of pains and aches. I kept telling her to call an ambulance, because she wanted me to take her to the hospital, but I wasn’t sober. I told her I would sober up, but I wasn’t taking her because of the constant fighting, and I didn’t believe she needed the hospital. I was planning to go to my friend’s house that night, but she had hidden my keys! Her sister ended up bringing her children’s Tylenol for the pain, and that night I had slept on the couch barely getting any sleep. I was woken up in the morning with screaming and nuisance from what I remember. I gave her four thousand dollars earlier that week as a promise that if we had broken up, she would be safe. Now she went outside to greet her friends, and I shut the door behind her, locking it. She screamed out loud to the entire neighborhood, claiming I slammed her foot in the door and called the police stating I domestically abused her. In all reality, she was trying to bring her friends into my home and steal all of my possessions, but what was I supposed to do? I felt scared, angry, abandoned by the one person I believed I could depend on; I was living in a nightmare and for some reason I couldn’t wake up!

I ran out of the back door of the house, locking it behind me. I was arrested not long after, as it was a Friday, and I spent the weekend in jail until a Monday afternoon. I was released on my own recognizance, as I am a well-trusted individual. The hearing came and went, and I was proven not guilty of domestic violence as my security cameras proved she was lying about her foot being slammed in the door. She had grabbed the wrong foot!

She didn’t take EVERYTHING, but she had taken a large portion of what belonged to me. Luckily, I still had money to refurnish the home, but I had to make a conscious choice to either pay my credit or go with no belongings. I was stuck in a conundrum.

I was still in turmoil, having lost the love of my life and a large fortune of money on someone who didn’t care at all, and instead wanted to see me dead and hung to the very last moment. I started spending time with horrible influences, drinking much heavier than I ever have, and eventually these influences went to jail. This left me alone, scared, miserable and missing the one person who put me in a horrible position to begin with. I started reading up on borderline personality disorder, and I was so disappointed. I felt like I had failed Paige, like I didn’t affirm her emotions enough and should’ve encouraged her having child instead of dismissing the situation.

One unfortunate day, she reached back out. Told me we were having a little girl. I was so happy; I ran back to her new apartment, and we were passionate with each other. It felt like the beginning again, she was treating me so highly and loving me with an abundance of care. My family was bashing her (rightly so) but this was the mother of my to-be child, how could I let them speak so ill of her?

Her entire pregnancy was a nightmare for me. So stupid. She convinced me that I was mentally insane. That I was the one who had a personality disorder, that I had an identity disorder. This led to me actually believing I was a bad guy. If something is reinforced in your mind every single day, eventually you begin to believe it. We would fight like cats and dogs, but more so like lions and elephants. Nobody was casualty-free. There were always mental injuries at the end of each fight, and no apologies were given from her. I was always sure to apologize, may it be the next morning or shortly after. This was because I was always forced to believe it was my fault, the blame-shift of course.

I would drive her almost two hours away every single week, as her pregnancy was considered high-risk. My last $1,500 was spent on baby items and belongings for her, 8 months before the baby was even born. I still stood next to her even after being convinced by her that I was crazy, and that she was this ”abused” woman” created by me!

I had got a car loan in July and was working for a food delivery company twelve hours a day just to support her through all of this. I would work, then come home and work, barely getting time to even sleep. My credit cards began piling up again, and I started to believe this was a cycle. I couldn’t get out of the relationship because I was so heavily invested and was petrified that she would call the police for something that didn’t happen if I tried to break it off. I was isolated from family and friends; I couldn’t go anywhere to get away. On the other hand, I felt like even if I did try to get away, I was losing someone I loved so dearly, the mother of my child, the soulmate I had once believed in so truly.

I couldn’t hold down a job due to the crises that would arise every single day. I was so angry with her because of all of the debt, it had also felt like all of my work and money would just go towards debt and I never seen any of it for myself. It became a struggle all over again to live.

November comes around, she woke me up screaming at me, threatening me because I was refusing to go out and get cigarettes for her. We got in a push-and-shove, breaking things around the house. I was threatened that I would never see my daughter again as she would move out of the county, at which point I ripped her passport up. It was truly horrible. She called the police again, only this time I had managed to get away (though she hid my wallet). Again, I was on my own recognizance. My parents thankfully took me back into their home while Paige lived in my home. We went on-and-off talking for months, but I finally had the strength to break it off and seek some form of help. I was given a disorderly conduct and three months of unsupervised probation.

I let her stay at my home for months, paying all of the bills and even making payments on a car so she could drive to and from work while I watched the child. When I finally got back into my home, it was worse than the first time. She had taken literally everything, from the bed, the TV, the dishwasher, couches, all of the babies’ belongings, practically everything. My attorney told me there was nothing I could do, and even if there was, it wasn’t worth the fight. I am currently still living with my parents as I cannot afford to refurnish or renovate my now torn-apart home, all the while she lives unscathed in a rental with all of the belongings that I purchased.

Do I deserve anything?

Do I deserve any money from you? Absolutely not, this was all my own fault, and I am learning how to hold true to boundaries and not be co-dependent to these types of venomous women. I fell for a want-to-be love story filled with wishful thinking, wanting to be the hero overall. I am very grateful if you’ve made it to the bottom of this, just for listening and learning my story. Maybe I’ll be able to help others with the knowledge I’ve learned and save them from investing in a lifetime of regret and agony. My heart hurts every day from the pain I was put through, selling such a large piece of property for someone who never cared about me to begin with and only wanted to leech and steal from me. I am since then starting to get better, having been baptized, going to therapy weekly, and working almost every day all the while maintaining a healthy relationship with my beautiful daughter.

I would just like to ask for a donation, as I really need to refurnish my home for my daughters’ sake. She really needs a crib, new flooring, clothing and I really need a bed and furniture. I would appreciate anything that you have to offer. Thank you all so much for reading this, and please be safe in your endeavors with relationships. It’s no joke.

The image you see will show only a fraction of my credit cards, at which point I’m close to 50k in debt. I don’t know what I’m going to do, it’s all a never-ending nightmare but I’m hoping by putting this information out there, I may save someone from this turmoil and maybe get some donations for my daughter and me.

My PayPal is paypal.me/nvf123

I had forgot to put my PayPal in the other request, so I apologize.

My name is Wesley I’m 35 from White settlement Texas too late a life has been hitting me like a Trainwreck over and over and over you see  about 4 years ago I thought I met the love of my life well I guess things changed or something we were perfect it seemed despite my job at the time I used to work for the department of defense setting modular buildings for our US government and agencies all over the United States I loved it I never had a job in my life to whenever I woke up I was proud to go to work and happy well we just got done with the job area 51 and we were pulling into Lubbock I got phone call from her she’s in the hospital I was like what’s wrong she proceeds to tell me that she thought her kidneys were failing on her and at that very moment she flipped the camera around and I said OBGYN am I jaw dropped and I started crying like a little girl cuz all I wanted was was baby you know I want a family because I didn’t have one grown up well she said I’m 23 weeks pregnant as soon as she said that the nurse walks in and says the exact same thing to her I was ecstatic well I got done with the job in Lubbock and I came home to see her and I swear I’m so happy well we ended up having him and he’s perfect his name is Jameson Wade Pierce he’s my pride and joy I love him to death I was doing as much as I could for them while I was home because I traveled a lot like I said I was providing for my family that’s it I thought that’s what she wanted I thought that that’s why I was supposed to do I guess I was wrong when it’s part and ways because she said I was gone too much but like I said I was providing for my family  how about 6 months after we split up I get a phone call from her and she’s getting her ass beat by her new boyfriend this time I’m in Alabama I could do nothing about it well whenever I get off of that job in Alabama and I’ll come back me and her end up looking back up but this time she tells me I’m pregnant and it’s not yours I told her I’ll be that boys pappy and I meant that every single word of it about four and a half months ago we had kaliber Zane he was perfect I delivered that boy just like I did with Jameson and I’ve got so attached to him we ended up getting evicted from our apartment due to me coming back and quit my job and getting a job at the airport because I want to be home I want to be a dad want to be around more you know but took a big pay cut and put a huge Bind cuz all I was doing is playing catch up but I could  never catch up so we got invicted and then ended up staying in hotels and then life gets expensive you know especially when you’re making a lot less than you used to make but I was doing it I was making it happen I was making sure my family is taken care of how the roof and food in the bellies everyday anyway I could she wasn’t working she didn’t work any of the time we were together I guess at the point where I guess I don’t know I guess we fell apart again unfortunately and it sucks but you got to the point where the love wasn’t there the feeling was just wasn’t there anymore I was sleeping by the AC unit at the hotel on the floor there was more than enough room in the bed but I felt like I wasn’t wanted so do something was up well one morning is like 3 weeks before Thanksgiving this year we got an argument and she proceeds to tell me this isn’t why I’m leaving you and so are the kids and we’re going to San Antonio so what what are you talking about is she proceeds to tell me my mom’s on her way to get us now my heart dropped cuz those babies are all I had is that family was all I had all I wanted in life and I was working towards having that for the rest of my life I don’t know where I went wrong at all I mean I quit the job I loved and everything to be there for them and they they just didn’t believe in 3 hours later I seen her pack up her things and the babies have kissed on the goodbye and that was the last time I got to see them besides the video call here and there whenever she needs the money I haven’t seen them it’s really took a big toll on me cuz I can’t afford a hotel anymore because my lack of motivation in my drive just seemed to vanish when they left I know where I went wrong I know I should never got a mental state that way but I don’t know what could prevented that my everything my reason for living just got taken from me and it cost me my job at the airport and I became homeless even worse my truck broke down on me which means I can’t get to work it’s been broke down for 2 months now and that’s why I’m staying currently my family won’t help me out any my friends they’re dealing with their own problems in life I’m just really at a loss right now I want to be able to see my boys the fear that that’s going to take some legal action which means I have to find a way to come up with money for attorney can I come with money to get house or apartment or a hotel just so I can get on my feet I got to give me a job but the vehicle being broke down is what’s happening once I get a job everything else will fall into place I’m not looking for no handouts I’m not looking for sympathy I’m not looking for anything but a hand up in life and a chance to be able to see my kids I do anything in this world with my life to turn around right now cuz my heart hurts I don’t wish this upon anybody I appreciate you all the time for reading this if y’all can keep me in your prayers please and again I appreciate ev My name is Wesley Pierce I’m 35 from White settlement Texas too late a life has been hitting me like a Trainwreck over and over and over you see  about 4 years ago I thought I met the love of my life well I guess things changed or something we were perfect it seemed despite my job at the time I used to work for the department of defense setting modular buildings for our US government and agencies all over the United States I loved it I never had a job in my life to whenever I woke up I was proud to go to work and happy well we just got done with the job area 51 and we were pulling into Lubbock I got phone call from her she’s in the hospital I was like what’s wrong she proceeds to tell me that she thought her kidneys were failing on her and at that very moment she flipped the camera around and I said OBGYN am I jaw dropped and I started crying like a little girl cuz all I wanted was was baby you know I want a family because I didn’t have one grown up well she said I’m 23 weeks pregnant as soon as she said that the nurse walks in and says the exact same thing to her I was ecstatic well I got done with the job in Lubbock and I came home to see her and I swear I’m so happy well we ended up having him and he’s perfect his name is Jameson Wade Pierce he’s my pride and joy I love him to death I was doing as much as I could for them while I was home because I traveled a lot like I said I was providing for my family that’s it I thought that’s what she wanted I thought that that’s why I was supposed to do I guess I was wrong when it’s part and ways because she said I was gone too much but like I said I was providing for my family  how about 6 months after we split up I get a phone call from her and she’s getting her ass beat by her new boyfriend this time I’m in Alabama I could do nothing about it well whenever I get off of that job in Alabama and I’ll come back me and her end up looking back up but this time she tells me I’m pregnant and it’s not yours I told her I’ll be that boys pappy and I meant that every single word of it about four and a half months ago we had kaliber Zane he was perfect I delivered that boy just like I did with Jameson and I’ve got so attached to him we ended up getting evicted from our apartment due to me coming back and quit my job and getting a job at the airport because I want to be home I want to be a dad want to be around more you know but took a big pay cut and put a huge Bind cuz all I was doing is playing catch up but I could  never catch up so we got invicted and then ended up staying in hotels and then life gets expensive you know especially when you’re making a lot less than you used to make but I was doing it I was making it happen I was making sure my family is taken care of how the roof and food in the bellies everyday anyway I could she wasn’t working she didn’t work any of the time we were together I guess at the point where I guess I don’t know I guess we fell apart again unfortunately and it sucks but you got to the point where the love wasn’t there the feeling was just wasn’t there anymore I was sleeping by the AC unit at the hotel on the floor there was more than enough room in the bed but I felt like I wasn’t wanted so do something was up well one morning is like 3 weeks before Thanksgiving this year we got an argument and she proceeds to tell me this isn’t why I’m leaving you and so are the kids and we’re going to San Antonio so what what are you talking about is she proceeds to tell me my mom’s on her way to get us now my heart dropped cuz those babies are all I had is that family was all I had all I wanted in life and I was working towards having that for the rest of my life I don’t know where I went wrong at all I mean I quit the job I loved and everything to be there for them and they they just didn’t believe in 3 hours later I seen her pack up her things and the babies have kissed on the goodbye and that was the last time I got to see them besides the video call here and there whenever she needs the money I haven’t seen them it’s really took a big toll on me cuz I can’t afford a hotel anymore because my lack of motivation in my drive just seemed to vanish when they left I know where I went wrong I know I should never got a mental state that way but I don’t know what could prevented that my everything my reason for living just got taken from me and it cost me my job at the airport and I became homeless even worse my truck broke down on me which means I can’t get to work it’s been broke down for 2 months now and that’s why I’m staying currently my family won’t help me out any my friends they’re dealing with their own problems in life I’m just really at a loss right now I want to be able to see my boys the fear that that’s going to take some legal action which means I have to find a way to come up with money for attorney can I come with money to get house or apartment or a hotel just so I can get on my feet I got to give me a job but the vehicle being broke down is what’s happening once I get a job everything else will fall into place I’m not looking for no handouts I’m not looking for sympathy I’m not looking for anything but a hand up in life and a chance to be able to see my kids I do anything in this world with my life to turn around right now cuz my heart hurts I don’t wish this upon anybody I appreciate you all the time for reading this if y’all can keep me in your prayers please and again I appreciate everybody that has read this have a blessed day