Currently I am in a tough spot. And honestly I do not know how to take myself out of this hole that I am now in. Not only financially but mentally and emotionally. For the last year, year and a half I’ve been struggling immensely with severe depression, anxiety and constant high stress levels.
each day it’s getting harder and harder to catch up with bills. I just keep falling further and further behind and doing all of this on my own while being mentally unstable has proven to be quite difficult. it’s genuinely getting to the point where I don’t even understand why I still exist. What is the point in me living if I’m just constantly going to be miserable and stressed about money and bills like I am now.
i’ve always been giving money. I’ve always had a plan and a budget. And there is a system to paying my bills coinciding with my paychecks. And I always had money left over to put some in the savings and the rest was mine to have fun with, never too much though. I preferred putting money away for a bigger picture adventure.
unfortunately due to Covid my roommate got sick in January and I had to quarantine from work and because I am unvaccinated I had to quarantine for 14 days unpaid. I know sooner get back to work at the end of the month and two days later I was so sick I couldn’t even walk across the room. I don’t even know how I managed to drive to work that day because I couldn’t even function enough to walk out of the building an hour into my shift. I then had to quarantine for another 14 days unpaid, while also being ungodly sick for another month straight. I was miserable for weeks and unable to work with no income. My roommate also was out again due to me being sick. Then he ended up having to be out of work even longer due to needing a second back surgery because a degenerative disc disease that he has. So I am essentially covering all bills and expenses myself. I’m struggling more than ever my bank account is never not negative. So that I’m constantly getting overdraft fees and late fees stacked on top of everything else. Because of my bad luck with money I’ve also manage to max out three of my credit cards . With gas prices at this point I go to the pump and play card roulette I don’t know what cards gonna let me pay or if any of them really will.
all of the stress is just weighing me down even more and my depression has spiraled further than it ever has I am genuinely scared of my own mental state and I know the only thing that’s going to start to bring me out of this is financial freedom. I don’t know what other options I could possibly find I can’t get a loan I can’t get another credit card to consolidate that because of missing mortgage payments my credit score dropped unbelievably low. I have never felt so embarrassed in my entire life. I haven’t bought groceries in months I live off of water ,Ramen and the occasional Dr Pepper just so I don’t completely go off the deep end.
any help at this point is so welcomed and I genuinely cannot wait for the day that I am financially comfortable again because I’ve always been a giver and a helper and I want to be able to give it back the way some have given to me in the past few months. No matter what I will be giving giving giving and I cannot wait!