I haven’t been able to save up money since I began my transition because I’ve been thrown so many curveballs related to it.
I’ve been kicked out of the family home a year earlier than agreed because a family member was angry that they didn’t understand my transition, and that I didn’t want to answer very intimate questions about my sex life. Then the family cut me off completely (wouldn’t speak to me for 2 years) because I didn’t want to give my new address to my abusive parent who had continued the abuse when I came to stay with them when I needed help early in transition as an adult.
I had a great job where I had extra responsibility (like checking my co workers out before they were allowed to leave, and being the closer), I was full time and known as one of the top earners and hardest workers. I got fired because I responded to a cook misgendering me on purpose to insult me (he later apologized, I thought we were friends and in fact had assisted him with rides to help his family keep his home before this happened) by raising my voice at him… in a restaurant where people have thrown things at the manager and just got asked to cool down outside for a few minutes… people were constantly yelling and arguing. Over a year being there and I NEVER saw ANYONE get fired for anything like this. Everyone who saw the situation, and a civil rights lawyer, all said it was illegal discrimination. I unfortunately couldn’t handle moving forward with a lawsuit in time to do it, while finding a new job and learning it and catching up with my lost finances from the firing and the mental impact of this sudden firing when I had been a top employee and dedicated most of my time to the place. I had been fired right before I was supposed to go as a representative for my restaurant to a busy outlet mall area for Black Friday, so basically just before the holidays and I was supposed to make a ton of extra money by doing that. It was very jarring, especially because I had only been “out” less than a year so I was still getting used to being harassed and discriminated against. There was a lot of harassment, including a manager at that job, co worker at the next job, guests at my jobs, and strangers on the street and the bus and the places I hung out with my friends.
Since then, I’ve had to change jobs for discriminatory reasons multiple times. I also had to give up my second job because I was arrested for “trespassing” because a cop told me to go to the bus circle at this location and get a bus ride home and after I started going down the stairs I realized- as he was well aware already- that since I had lost my bag I had NO money for a bus ride. So I figured if I just sat down there and didn’t leave I’d get in trouble again. I thought my best course of action was to immediately report to him that I couldn’t physically follow the directions because, as he knew, I had no bus fare and ask for more instructions. I was attempting to comply.
He immediately arrested me. What followed was described by the criminal lawyer I hired as “torture” and he wanted me to submit the video to a TV lawyer to expose the cops. I want to but I am afraid. I recently contacted a lawyer that deals with civil rights for more help.
The torture ended with the cop punching me in the genitals- see, the reason they were torturing me is because my legal name is female and since I lost my bag I couldn’t give them ID and they weren’t satisfied with my truthful answer to that question, they kept asking my “real” name and I said that’s my legal name and they kept hurting me for it, I was trying to explain for the hours this arrest took that I was FTM transgender man, but they didn’t understand and assumed I was MTF trans woman who just never bothered to transition, I guess, and had a mustache and everything- trying to inflict the worst pain possible. But since I don’t have the organs he was seeking, he punched me in what I do have, and I thought I was purposely being sexually assaulted since I explained everything so many times. But yes he was trying to hit male organs because that hurts so bad. I considered myself unfortunately lucky I got punched because that’s the only way I got a female cop to inspect me. It makes me scared thinking what the male cop who assaulted me in multiple ways would have done if he were inspecting my genitals and discovered them suddenly.
Because I lost my bag and my car keys were in it, and my car had a custom type of key where you need a code from the steering column or somewhere near there to make a new one, the mechanic informed me that the steering column may not be right after he did so, but it was the only way to get a key made. I agreed in hopes I could get it to a mechanic in time to correct that. My steering column fell apart the very next time I drove it, when I was in an oil change where I intended to ask if they could fix it or direct me to someone who could.
On top of that, I was supposed to start working as a server at a high end restaurant on that property soon. Since I was trespassed for not having bus fare, I was unable to finish onboarding and lost the opportunity. The cop also tried to charge me with a felony, battery of a police officer, because he claimed when I was talking and I threw my hands up to show I didn’t understand what to do, that the soft side of my baseball cap touched him by accident (I was holding it by the hard part). Thankfully that charge was dropped, but it further solidified my point of view that this man targeted me due to his hatred of transgender women which he thought I was.
They put me in solitary confinement. I was lucky I was able to get help with bail at the time and only stayed one day and night. They stuck me in there because of an argument between the shift change of the person in charge, one said I could go in with the females- the law now, actually- and the next guy, who changed before I was thrown in there, said I couldn’t. I don’t know how I’m supposed to be any more of a threat to females than the other people in that population, but I am well aware that in the male population I would be under threat and since I’m legally female they couldn’t force me in there. I also was unable to eat, as they didn’t believe me (or didn’t care) about my food allergies.
I was able to get a new job quickly and I picked up two. I worked every single day for a couple months. Then I just worked most days, as many as I could pick up, until I was forced to choose between the two jobs so I had time to complete community service hours. I chose the higher paying job, not the one that treated me as equal as cisgender people and respected me as a whole. That backfired as I found myself being harassed at the job I chose. Just like another previous job, the managers offered to move ME to a worse location, not the harasser. In self respect I said no and continued to work there until I was able to start a new job and put in 2 weeks.
The new job was higher paying and I finally felt I was somewhere I could thrive after the last 5 years. I started doing very well mentally, moved into a new apartment which I was taking very good care of and paying rent on time, and thrived in the new position, even though it was very different from my previous jobs and I had to learn a lot. I actually studied over 40 hours on my days off to pass the evaluation. It was difficult but rewarding as I have always prided myself in being an excellent worker.
A few months in, I started having problems with co workers loudly talking in the kitchen about how trans peoples’ “lives don’t matter”, that they think we’re p*dos, that we shouldn’t be allowed in bathrooms, etc. I reported two separate instances to my manager. One of the incidents in question was done by someone who has anger problems and says violent things a lot. I was terrified of him. AND he told the other manager he knew it was me, but that manager denied it. I heard this myself.
My mental health began to deteriorate AGAIN. Soon after the first incident, Florida started churning out insane discriminatory laws against transgender people, like that we can’t use public restrooms (I look like a man so de facto I am banned from all public restrooms obviously because I’m legally required to use the womens’ but as you’ve seen earlier, people can’t grasp that I’m FTM and I would likely get assaulted again (besides the cop, I had been assaulted in public the prior year by someone whose friend was harassing me because he thought I was a lesbian with my face mask on) and would be arrested despite following the law and now I am TERRIFIED of cops and prison (I was already in treatment for PTSD symptoms stemming from childhood abuse, this made it worse)).
Our local economy is based basically solely on tourism, and tourism suffered greatly this summer due to both people avoiding Florida because of these laws, and other laws and practices against other minority groups (travel warnings have been issued by multiple organizations), and also due to the fact that it’s been SO HOT. In this record breaking summer heat, the Hibachi restaurant (ie the tables are grills) our AC broke and the company is unable to get the replacement til late this month because it’s custom built. So our business began to suffer, guests were unhappy due to no fault of my own, we never really got our expected and badly needed summer ‘pop’.
I recently lost this job, because I released a shift for pick up and when I went to cancel (I wasn’t feeling good the night before and knew everyone needed hours badly, but then changed my mind in the morning because so did I and I thought now I could handle it) it was NOT on my schedule anymore. I figured, as this would be the only logical explanation, that someone else had already picked it up. I checked 3 times just to make sure I wasn’t missing something or there wasn’t another shift available that day. I had no choices so I stayed home. My manager told me I had still been on the roster and I lost my job. I unfortunately have to assume I had been sabatouged by a manager who didn’t want me there anymore. I KNOW I didn’t have the shift scheduled on my end. I don’t have any other explanation. And again, I was extremely hard working and dedicated, having multiple chefs come up to me and say they noticed that I was putting in extra effort and they were impressed by the way I worked.
When I lost my job I was already behind in rent due to the very very poor summer business. When I signed onto this apartment I was making more than enough, but everything changed in the summer.
I am now facing eviction this coming week. I don’t know of anyplace I have to go. I have a couple of offers from friends but not enough money to move to where they are, nor to pay the rent I would owe them anyways.
I have a therapy cat, prescribed by my former therapist (who I also lost due to budget cutbacks at the LGBT clinic I attend) and who has been with me since she was born in the house I used to rent in, and I fear even a day homeless would be impossible to keep her healthy and safe and secured. She’s my best friend right now. I don’t see anybody else on a regular basis and I think it would be very bad for her for me to abandon her as well. As for me it would be psychologically devastating, as I vowed never to lose another pet after my parents kept and refused to return my Silky Terrier after they kicked me out of their home (they had pressured me to adopt a dog for they said it would be good for me mentally, I said no because I had feared I wouldn’t be able to keep him when I moved out and they promised they would make that work for me then they kept him when I had to leave, because I could barely afford to find a place let alone one that would take him, and even when we started speaking again they refused to give him back).
I am terrified.
Every little bit will help. If I can’t avoid eviction I will use any money I can get to secure a home for myself and my cat.
If anyone can find it in their heart to donate to make the ends meet I would be unspeakably grateful.
As I mentioned, I have always been a very hard worker- I call myself a workaholic in fact- and take great pride in this. So I can promise this won’t go to waste. I will be able to start my own payments again very soon.
I just need a chance to stay here this month and get everything back to normal.
Thank you so much for considering my plea.
Bradley
https://paypal.me/bradleymmc?country.x=US&locale.x=en_US
