Six years ago, I physically got out of an abusive relationship but my three children are still not free. The first three years after the separation the children were living with me and only visited him on weekends. He went on disability due to back pain and I didn’t receive any child or spousal support from him. I was the primary caretaker and only financial provider for our little family. It was very tough but we worked as a team and got through it. My children were 9F, 6M and 4F at the time. My whole family is overseas where as his is here. (I cosponsored them to come to Canada).

I couldn’t afford a lawyer so I used legal aid. That cost me dearly. My ex got over 40k lumpsum payment from Disability which he used to move closer and hire a good lawyer to gain 50/50. I agreed as a temporary situation awaiting OCL (Children’s lawyers) involvement. A month after that agreement, covid started and everything went on hold. The children have been doing alternating weeks for 3 years now. During these years he caused so much damage. I involved Children’s aid a few times but not much was done apart from counselling services for me and the children.

He is brainwashing the children. He claims to be religious and teaching them religion but is doing nothing but teaching them to judge others and teaching my son that he is superior to his sisters and even his mom. This has caused a drift between the children specifically my eldest daughter and son. He calls me very bad names in front of the children and when my eldest became old and strong enough to ask him to stop, he managed to show her as the black duck in the family and is always verbally abusing her and encouraging my son to do the same.

I tried many times to save the children but every time it back fired costing me lots of money. I finally found a good yet expensive lawyer last year but couldn’t complete the case for lack of funds. I still owe him money since September 2021. The last payment I made was back in April 2022. I still have $2,300 outstanding balance.

Now the children are telling me he is going with his mom, sister and brother to Qatar where he found a good job and he wants to take them with him. (Seems he can work now although he is still on disability). My son and youngest daughter want to go with him because and I am quoting them: “they don’t want to live in a country where being homosexual is accepted and encouraged”. They say they don’t want to go to a school where they have gay friends and teachers! That’s the hate he is teaching them. He denied having such plans to move and said I would hear it from “the horse’s mouth” when it happens.

Last week my 9yD asked me if I would do anything for my children and when I said yes she said then why don’t you move to Qatar with us? Yesterday, yesterday, she sent me a text on discord out of nowhere telling me she is going to Qatar and I can’t stop her. She also said that I should just come with them and “make life easy”.  I later found out he told her he’s happy with what she did.

About me: I work in Real Estate full time. Given the current Real Estate Market, I am going through financial hardship. I made one deal only this year which I put towards main expenses such as rent and food. I still get no financial support from him and on top of that he now takes half the child tax benefit. I applied for a loan through BDC which I was planning to use to cover our expenses for at least six months till I make another deal. I am still waiting to hear from them but with missing a few payments the past few months, I’m not sure I’ll get accepted.

I have no financial support from my family. Since my dad passed away in 2011, I am the one who actually supports them whenever I can. I was looking for a part time job then my 16 year old daughter got hit by a car (hit and run) back in August which now necessitates her going to do rehab for her knee and lower back twice a week and will start counselling soon too because she is traumatized by the accident. Even leaving them alone to go on showings these days is becoming challenging because they keep fighting and it is getting out of hand.

I always help everyone around me in any way I can. On my worst days, I share any request for help in the hopes that any of my friends or their friends can help if I can’t.

I have managed to get my little family through many bumps but this one is too much for me to handle on my own. With the current economic situation, most of my friends are struggling as well.

Please help me pay my lawyer to save my children. I have no idea how much I will need. A simple matter that was settled last year cost me $5,000. This matter will cost at least $20,000. I am on this site which is literally called begging money so I am here to beg for help. Ever since I was a child, it was always hard for me to ask for money even from my own dad. I am not a slacker or an opportunist. I am a mom doing all I can to save my children.

Please help us. Please. I don’t want to lose my children by moving away or by being brainwashed to grow into extremists. Please help.

https://paypal.me/only1mano?country.x=CA&locale.x=en_US

I happened upon this site this evening.. which gives me hope. I usually try not to have any hope because I’ve been let down so many times I have lost count. I’ve been through several lifetimes during this one life I’ve had.. and its been struggles as far back as I can ever remember. I have one of those majorly dysfunctional families with lots of terrible secrets and drama. My family has been split up for many years. I had a rough childhood and even rougher teen years. Typical cliche, broken girl just wanting to be loved and protected. I managed to pull myself up out of the ashes when I had my son. My miracle baby. We both nearly didn’t survive. I worked so hard to build a good life for me and my son. I went to college, despite not even going to high-school. I was super hopeful of the bright future I had been preparing for but I really struggled to find a good job in administration after graduating. I eventually had to accept a job in a place that treated me badly and made me literally work from the ground up to a sales position that was well beneath my education level, but being a single mother doesn’t afford the luxury of leaving bad jobs with no backup. I became very unwell and overtime I was unable to work anymore. I wasn’t able to be a good proper mother to my son. We were struggling so bad and I had no choice but to keep taking on more and more debt to keep us going. This happened over the course of nearly 6 years. I just became more and more unwell and in severe pain and zero energy. Doctors couldn’t figure out the problem. To this day, I just don’t understand how the doctors allowed me to become so deteriorated without figuring out why. I became sick with severe respiratory issues. I was drowning. I couldn’t hardly breathe. I was in and out of the emergency room 5 times. Finally as I nearly died, they figured it out. I had stage 3 ovarian cancer. I had a massive tumor. I was drowning in cancerous liquid. This was April 5 2018. After major surgery, I was overmedicated on morphine all week, despite constantly coughing up blood. I would tell the girls in the scrubs everytime they walked by my room, but I guess I wasn’t telling the right people. And I remember being so mad because I wanted to see my son so badly and my mom wouldn’t bring him to the hospital to visit me because he had a cough. And I didn’t care, I just wanted to see my son but she wouldn’t listen so I hung up on her. I remember laying in my bed and hearing my moms ring tone on my phone.. wake me up by Avicii. My breathing became slower and slower until I finally stopped breathing. This was April 20 2018. Luckily the doctor showed up at the exact right moment to check on me after hearing I’d been coughing up blood all week. My mom brought my son to see me the next day and she told me that Avicii died on April 20. It broke my heart. He’s me and my son’s favorite. I spent the rest of the year and next having multiple surgeries and chemotherapy. Because of all this, my son and I had to give up our home and move in with my mom. I needed her to take care of me, and my son too. I wasn’t expected to even survive but luckily I did. My son has adhd and severe anxiety, and he really needs me. I did my best to be strong and get through this so he wouldn’t have to be without me. My son stayed with me when I was so sick from chemotherapy and couldn’t get out of bed and was in a lot of pain. He is really upset inside I think, because him and I, but especially him, missed out on a lot of things because of me being too sick and not having enough energy to get up. Kids don’t fully understand why. They only see what they’re missing out on. I’ve raised him on my own the entire time because it wasn’t a safe situation for us otherwise. I’ve always made sure my son has everything he needs and I try hard to make sure he gets some of the things he wants. I feel like such a failure when I’m not able to get him things that other kids have so easily. Like a bike for example. But I go without things I want and many times without things I even need just to make sure he has what he needs. Its an easy choice, its just not easy to live this way. It really takes a toll. I doubled, nearly tripled the debt I’m in by living with my mom as I had to cover a lot more than I should have. When the pandemic happened, I was a little grateful for the extra time to fully recover, but I never expected it to be as it was. Luckily my son, my mom, and myself were all lucky enough to stay safe from covid. But as we were finally getting through to the other side, my mom became unwell suddenly in aug 2021. She was told she had stage 4 bile duct cancer oct 2021 and that she was terminal. The doctors told her she had 1-2 years to live but she passed away suddenly in Jan 2022. I am absolutely devastated by the loss of my mom. She was literally the only person I had here. She was my person. The one person I knew had my back and I’m trying to be strong for my son but its so hard. I spent so long and worked so hard trying to build this good life for me and my son that I didn’t have time to socialize and make any friends. I left all my friends behind to move away with my son to get away from the toxic people and bad influences. Then I was too busy with college and then working, then I was sick. I haven’t had anyone. Nobody to sit and talk with, go out with, hangout with, to cry with. I have been alone. All I had was my mom. We had to move out asap and we had a terrible time finding a place to live that we could afford and that would allow pets. We were out of time and had to accept an apt that is too expensive for us, but they allow pets. So the debt continues to rise because I’m on disability and they don’t help you enough to actually be able to pay your rent and bills and survive. Especially if u have credit. They expect you to use your credit. But im in so much debt I can’t anymore without losing all my hard earned credit score. I worked so hard for that. I am so tired of struggling. I want to repair my health and my life and get up out of the ashes as I have before. But I am so depressed and broken hearted from losing my mom and I am so literally tired. I’m exhausted all the time. I pass out all the time. My specialist told me I have severe sleep apnea. She said I miss breaths constantly while I’m trying to sleep, so I never get to fully fall asleep. That explains why I pass out all the time. She said if it happens more than 30 times it means sleep apnea. Apparently my number is 137. Thats how many times per hour that I miss a breath and wake up, without realizing I’ve woken up. Apparently my heart is most at risk here, not my brain. I have residual brain fog and memory issues from the chemotherapy, along with lymphadema especially in my ankles and feet. I sure don’t need heart problems as well. I’m currently working on that using a bipap machine. I am hopefull this machine will help give me back some energy during the day so that I can return to work eventually. I would like the fear and anxiety to be able to go away for even just awhile. That fear of losing everything. That fear of my son being left with nothing and noone. I was angry for a long time that this happened because I worked so hard to build a life and future for me and my son. Why did this have to happen to me, to us? I couldn’t figure out what I ever did to deserve this to happen. My counselor said I had to let go of that kind of thinking. I understand. But its still a natural response. All I ever wanted was to give my son a good life and security. A forever home. I’ll never be able to give him a forever home now. I am too far behind that I would never be able to work enough years to save money to buy a house, especially in this over inflated economy. I don’t have a vehicle either. My son is finally at the age where he can get his license and I won’t be able to teach him how to drive. So I’m back to feeling like a big failure. I would mostly just love to stop being stressed every day about the huge debt that I’m drowning in and be able to enjoy what time I may have left with my son. I wish we could go on a trip together like we always dreamed of. Like a roadtrip across the country in a camper van and take our photo at each of the welcome to: signs, or to one of the foreign places my son is interested in, like Egypt. My son loves history and geology. He always wanted to be a geologist when he grew up but i think he has since changed that to electrician. His biggest dream is to see all the pyramids in Egypt and to go digging for fossils or precious stones. Before my mom passed away, she was planning for us to take a trip to drumheller alberta where you can go digging to find dinosaur bones. Then we were going to go to lake louise for some beauty and serenity. She thought she had more time. I really wish we could take that trip for her. I really miss my mom and I am just trying so hard to be the best mom for my son. I don’t gamble or smoke. I don’t hardly ever drink. I don’t ever do drugs, not even the legal ones. I don’t have a criminal record. I’m a good person. I’ve always tried to be a good person and help people whenever I could. I’ve done my best to raise my son all on my own. To have good strong morals and to be a good person so that one day he will be a good man and good father and be hardworking, loving, patient, and strong enough to get through anything he needs to. I made sure that he didn’t grow up the way I had to and that nobody hurt him. My son won’t have the scars that I have to live with. I’ve always been independent because my mom taught me to be. But I’ve done things all on my own and been stronger than I needed to be, for far too long now. I am tired. And I pray for a break from the storm. A pause from the suffering. Finally to have a silver lining and sunshine for enough days until I am well enough to be strong again.