Good evening,
I just want to thank whoever is taking time out of their busy schedule to read a stranger’s plee for help. I’m not going to say my story is any different or sets me aside from anyone else because it’s probably not and doesn’t. We are all struggling it seems in one way or another and just trying to make ends meet and keep our head above the water. I never in a million years would have dreamed that at 44 years of age that is be would be asking a stranger for help. This is not my nature and actually very difficult for me but I didn’t know where else to turn. I could start with my whole life story and give you all my tragedies and losses but if I do that it’s more like using those as a crutch instead of trying to overcome them. I’ve endured some horrible tragedies in my life including car accidents where both my grandparents were killed. That was extremely difficult. They were raising me until the age of 9 when it happened. Other than that it was my father raising me.
I lost him to suicide in my early twenties. I married into a horrible domestic violence filled marriage that took me years to get out of and getting out of it was at the expense of sending my children across country for their safety because he threatened to kill all of us. I’ve not seen them in over six years. They’re 15 + 17. During the marriage and before I was on drugs and alcohol and anything that I could escape me from my own reality.And I used as a coping mechanism I started seeing someone else after I got divorced and last year after seven years he walked out on me. Not just out my door he walked into someone else’s so he was probably already having an affair.Thathas been life changing for me. He was the love of my life. But I didn’t let it get the best of me becauseMay 18th, 2023 will mark my 5 year anniversary for sobriety., I got a job as a general manager of local restaurant franchise and work there for over 3 years. I had some issues and had to leave last year in May so during the months between May and September when he left I got in a state of depression and it started a downward spiral. I wasn’t positive about anything anymore except that I was going to lose what I have.I didn’t have a vehicle at a time and my friends were nice enough to be taking me back and forth to work. but when I did go back to work it was quite a distance away and I was having to pay someone to take me and pick me up in the gas prices were almost $5 a gallon then their car broke down and I lost my job due to transportation. So back I went!! In another downward spiral. in the middle of all this my bills are steadily piling up and I’m getting further behind on rent I was able to buy me a car pay for earlier this year and turned around like a dummy that I am and had to take a title loan out on it just to make my ends meet. and turned around like a dummy that I am and had to take out a little loan. That was the biggest mistake of my life. but I was working as an independent contractor doing merchandising and inventory jobs for a well-known prominent company. That stopped three weeks ago when my car broke down on me. So now I have so many bills that are past due including my rent which is almost three months past due and no source of income because I don’t have transportation to work, yet I still have to pay for the loan and insurance yet I have no way as providing for myself because of my transportation. I don’t have the money to put it in the shop for them to tell me what’s wrong with it but everyone says it’s the motor that I talk to. That can be extremely expensive. I don’t know what to do anymore. And during this time I was working towards getting my daughters to come home because their father was in prison and could not harm u. Then all of this happened so now my 17 year old showed her butt and became a ward of the state like she wanted to do she purposely did this and is now in foster care and can’t stand me because she thinks I’ve abandoned her which I didn’t do I just can’t financially support her and it’s breaking my heart to know that which I didn’t do I just can’t financially support her and it’s breaking my heart to know that she’s 3000 miles away and can’t stand me I’m trying not to lose Faith or hope it’s very difficult not to sometimes once again thank you for taking time to read this and if you decide to help someone else instead of me I totally understand once again thank you for taking time to read this and if you decide to help someone else instead of me I totally understand. there’s always someone worse off than we are I just thought I would take the chance and ask anyway I hope one day I’m in the position to pay it forward the world would be a lot nicer place if we could all realize that helping one another is good for the soul .
Thank you again. My paypal is
PayPal.me/clgreen