I’m a 52 year old single guy who’s living either at my mother’s or sister’s home. They have been very good to me and I’m extremely grateful for that. But I’ve been stuck in a rut for several years now. And I really want to be independent. This situation I find myself in is due to struggling with social anxiety or social phobia since I was 19 years of age. Even though I have overcome some of the symptoms, I still have bouts of it in certain social situations, but in lower intensity.
Social phobia/anxiety is a disorder in which you cannot be yourself in public, social gatherings or even with a single person. You think people are judging everything about you, like the way you look, the way you talk, the way you move and so on. Everyone that contends with this goes through different experiences. In my case, when standing in front of a class I would start sweating profusely and my heart would beat hard and fast. My neck muscles would tighten up, so I wouldn’t be able to turn my head in a soft natural way. When talking to someone in person my lips would start trembling and sometimes my voice wouldn’t come out clear and strong. Walking in a mall was difficult because I thought people were staring at me, and I felt I was going to trip on my own feet, and the list goes on.
I went to college but never made it through and dropped out. This happened on four occasions. The last one I enrolled at I had to get a doctor’s note in order to cancel the tuition after the first day of class. We had to make a small presentation about ourselves in front of the whole class, which really took a toll on me, and that was in my 30s.
So all of this made me feel even more self-conscious, making me react even worse. This would become a fight or flight situation and the easiest reaction would be flight. So over time I started avoiding situations that made me feel like that. Hence not being able to meet a woman and start a family. Not being able to get good jobs and advance in a career. It is like a downward spiral in life if you don’t seek help and follow through.
I sought help back when I started manifesting this condition, but It was fairly uncommon and no successful treatments were available. That changed when therapies like CBT and medication came about. And CBT has really helped me a lot. I just gotta keep on going with this treatment.
Today I still want to succeed in life, and I just don’t like to throw in the towel. I started researching online and found this great website. My petition is $11,000 US dollars or its equivalent in Canadian dollars $15,000 to buy a decent second hand Toyota Prius so I can start working with various delivery apps full time and keep advancing from there, continuing this journey to be independent and improve my life and those around me. My savings have run out and it’s hard to make ends meet. I just need a little boost.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
My paypal account link is PayPal.Me/tavrue