Hey Wonderful People,
Let me tell you about my story. It’s long, but it’s really worth reading.
Everything started in 1992 when my family and I came to Sweden from Kosovo during the Balkan war. It was really hard for us. My mom and dad couldn’t speak the language, but they were thrilled to get jobs and start working immediately. My mom began working as a street cleaner, and my dad was on welfare from the state.
My dad was a very bad dad; he abused me and my brother every day. We could see the anger in his eyes. Every day, he attacked and hit us hard—my brother, my mom, and me. This was my daily life from 1992 until about 2008. One week, when I was home visiting my mom, my dad was there too. My mom and dad had separated, but I didn’t let him stay with my mom because I knew he would abuse her when he flipped. That day, while my brother and I were in the living room, we heard a sound from the bedroom. It was our dad hitting and beating our mom. We rushed into the room, grabbed him by the neck, and subdued him. We called the cops on him, and after some months, we were on trial. Our mom testified, and he was sent to prison a few weeks later.
After that, I changed as a person. I became very angry and depressed. I had some really bad years, and during this time, I worked as a salesperson for various providers in Sweden, making some money each month to help my mom and build a life for myself. I managed to save up $100,000 for my mom and me. After some years, I met my wife, a Swedish girl. I fell deeply in love with her, and the best thing was, her childhood was nothing like mine. We grew together, and everything was great—until I found something that broke me more than my father’s beatings: the stock market.
I thought investing would help me grow our savings to give my mom a good pension and save for my newborn babies. I started trading, spending 10-12 hours a day trying to grow my money. But soon, I was losing all my savings. I put my money into small stocks, got cold feet, and sold at a loss. I thought, as long as I had some money, I could win it back. So, I put more in, and over time, it became like an addiction. Then came the day that changed my life and my family’s life forever. During COVID-19 in 2019, I had lost nearly 70% of our savings on small stocks. My bank contact told me about options trading. Desperate, I thought I could get back what I had lost. I started small with $1,000-$2,000 and managed to grow the account by 50%. I was hopeful, thinking I was on the right track.
But now my kids were 2 and 4 years old, and I had been home for three years, still in depression from the 70% loss. My wife almost left me many times, but she stayed out of love and empathy. I was mentally absent, obsessed with getting back the money for my mom and children’s future. In 2020, I was back to 30% of the savings. Options trading turned out bad, and I was miserable, blaming my father for my situation. I sank deeper into depression. Then came a day when I thought I saw a great opportunity. Like a desperate gambler, I went all in with the last of our savings. Of course, I lost everything. My first thought was to take some air, but it didn’t help. I started crying, hitting myself, and cutting myself just to feel the pain. For the first time, I considered taking my life, but I knew that was an easy way out. I had a great mother and two lovely kids who knew nothing but their mom and dad.
Now, I’ve stopped investing, and my children are healthy and 6-8 years old. But I’m still in depression, unable to forgive myself for what I did and what I put my family through. I think of the money I had that’s now gone. Please help me rid these mind games and help me fill the empty hole for my mom’s older days and my children’s future.
I know it’s my fault and my responsibility, but I came across this website today and thought maybe, just maybe, someone out there understands my story and feels for us. Any help, no matter how small, would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you for reading.
My paypal is: