This is a second post – my last month’s request didn’t get me any support, instead 2 or 3 reached out over email asking for upfront fees to be paid for donation & asking for personal details. Obviously scams, I ignored these emails. Realized that the original post was very cryptic (purposely so as to avoid inconveniencing everybody with my sob story) & also that I needed to share of myself for people to know me & to want to help. In today’s times, one cannot be too careful. Hence, waited for a month to get the $20 to repost this, hoping to get some attention & much desperately needed help.
I find myself in a situation where my loan installments far exceed my salary. Dealing with the bank’s collections department is taking a toll. I hope my story below shows that I have done everything in my power to come up on top of the situation. The cycle of ongoing debt, mostly due to medical issues, trying to get on top of the situation through few ventures, facing financial challenges in those & being saddled with medical bills intermittently without any warning contributed to my current situation. In short, my debt kept increasing.
In the spirit of full disclosure, I would like to state that I am just a human being (no saint) who underwent emotional, financial turmoil, never giving up & always trying to get on top of the situation & get a better life for my family & myself. However, I have made errors in judgement. I realize that I am not entitled but seek to reach out to your kindness. Your help will get me out of a sticky situation.
Always have battled it out. Never thought of giving up or accepting defeat, while trying my best to give back to society – apart from individual assistance given whenever possible, setting up the Haemophilia Foundation of Uganda with help/guidance from Laurie Kelly. This was during a short stint of 9 months in the country. Later when we left, we handed over the foundation in capable hands. Joseph had taken this forward in a very good way with help from Laurie. I hear that he later became a MP in the Ugandan Parliament & the foundation’s work is handled by his sister.
This is very gratifying & I felt a sense of fulfillment, to be one of God’s instruments in getting this done.
Pursuant to the above, I commit that any excess donations received will be shared with others who are in need.
Please find links & screenshots (if allowed by the site) below.
In an attempt towards sharing myself, here’s my story.
In 2002, we were blessed with a baby boy. This was our second child, the first being my daughter who was delivered naturally & was healthy.
With the immense pleasure that his birth bought with it, I soon realised that it came with challenges & few tests for us.
My wife was hospitalized for a period of 2.5 months following the birth & needed to undergo 3 surgeries.
Within a couple of hours of giving birth via C-section, the doctor advised me that she was bleeding internally & needed to be shifted to a secondary hospital. There, a second surgery was carried out & an emergency hysterectomy was performed because the doctor said that when they opened her up (doc speak), there was a lake of blood in her stomach area & that if they wasted anytime searching for the source of the bleed, we may lose her. The surgeon informed that she needed to be monitored for urine output. If that was low, it would mean that she had developed complications & would need further attention.
Meanwhile, on son’s front, on his second day on this planet, he developed a huge bulge on the right side of his head & needed to be moved to a NICU in a third hospital (paediatric hospital). He was kept ina glass cage with a red or blue light on him. Not a medico but I guess that was UV. He was later discharged a month down the line.
Not without an emotional test – one week after the delivery, I was advised by both the teams of doctors (my wife’s & son’s) to let them pass on. Since I wasn’t (still am not) capable of taking decisions for God, I refused to consent.
Moreover, when they were fighting it out, how could I as a husband & father withdraw. I remember going to the NICU window & silently asking my son what he thought of the doctor’s advice. He flicked a finger & my decision was sealed :D
On the wife’s front – the next day (3rd day after birth), her urine output was below 100 ml in 24 hours & doctors advised us to move her to a tertiary hospital for further care.
Then started our tryst in a multi-speciality hospital’s ICU (where she spend the most time). Her kidney function was already down & dialysis started. Her platelets kept dropping down to dangerous levels (in the range of 8000 if I recollect correctly). I soon learnt that there were 4-5 different blood products – Whole blood, RBC, WBC, Plasma and Cryoprecipitates (these were not in much use back then & needed a MD specialist to advise the doctors to start her on Cryo). She needed to be infused with one of these every 4-6 hours to sustain her platelet count.
She went through a plethora of medical issues – heart, loss of peripheral vision, liver failure (prompting the doctor to advise me to let her pass).
Somewhere during all this, the MD specialist was called on for his opinion & he advised the doctors to immediately start her on cryoprecipitates. Her platelet count started improving after Cryo & we heaved a collective sigh of relief.
However, the challenges were not over.
On the 21st day, she underwent a third surgery to remedy a sudden vaginal bleed.
After 2.5 months in the hospital, we returned back home, she was a physical wreck, me a financial wreck but very grateful that we were together. Slowly settled down, coming to terms & taking stock of the situation.
This was the first time I incurred a huge debt & didn’t realize then that this would become a lifestyle for me.
When my son was 6 months later, we discovered that he had hemophilia. Thinking back, this was the cause for the huge bulge on his head on the day after birth.
This felt like a death blow – somehow we had come to terms & were trying to pay back the loans & trying to get on top of the situation (the intent was very clear). This seemed to be crushing all hopes.
We soon realized that hemophilia was incurable & that my son would need factors for the rest of his life & that the dosage would increase with his weight.
In India, we do have a Hemophilia Foundation who get factors (some fresh but mostly expired). Since the afflicted population was huge, they charge people who can pay for the factor while giving the poor treatment free of cost or at discount.
Thus started the cycle of paying from future salaries for his factors. Moreover, these are expired factors that we were paying through our nose for.
Thus, the cycle of ongoing debt, trying to get on top of the situation through few ventures, facing financial challenges in those & being saddled with medical bills intermittently without any warning. In short, my debt kept increasing.
In 2008, I got to consult for 6-9 months for a company in Uganda. When the proposal came, I searched for support for my son. However, I found that there was no support for PWHs (Person with Hemophilia) in Uganda. Two months prior to departure for Uganda, I started writing to any email address I could lay my hands on. Though nothing concrete came out of these efforts & finding ourselves very close to the departure date, we took a leap of faith & left for Uganda. The first thing to strike was the pristine beauty of the country whilst the stark poverty for most also was evident. Slowly, the need to provide support to my son turned into a burning desire to do something for the PWHs in the country. A month after reaching Kampala, I came across a blog by Laurie Kelly & wrote to her. To our absolute desire, she responded & we started the journey. As we progressed, more good hearts joined. We had to leave the country soon but am happy that the HFU is helping PWHs across Uganda. For a more detailed account of the journey, please visit https://haemophiliauganda.blogspot.com/ & please read all old posts.
Though spiritual my entire life, Bruno Groening decided to allow me into his Bruno Groening Circle of Friends & gave it a deeper meaning & understanding. I remember feeling peace for the first time after everything started.
Now, I am 56 years old & will have to retire in another 4 years, Having spent my life taking care of my sick son’s medical bills, children’s education & going through the emotional roller coaster mentioned above, I find myself close to retirement & drowning in debt. No house of our own yet & having lost family, I am left alone to tackle my debts & life.
I seek help in paying off my debts only, totaling to $35,000, so that I may get on with the task of rebuilding my life. I seek help from kind souls to pay off said debts. I would like to celebrate this life, which is God’s gift & hence request kind souls to help me pay off my debts.
I pray to God to bless everyone & wish all the very best in life!
Request to please send your contributions to – https://www.paypal.me/satishapillai
Warm regards to all!