I am a 44 year old mom of three and find myself Ina world of pain and, emotional and physical. Two of my kids are older, 26 and 23. The third one is only 14 but lives with her dad in another city. I’ll start with telling u that I have one half brother on my moms side. Yet I’m the black sheep of both my moms and dad’s side. None of my dads side talks to me and being all that’s left on my moms side, my brother, doesn’t talk to me at all anymore even though we r only 2 minutes away from each other. Back in 2014 I got pneumonia and ended up on life support for about a month. When I woke up i had no muscle tone. One day they put me in a hover lift which lifts me out of the bed, so they could change my bedding. They left me in it oo long I do believe. While recovering, I developed a bruise on my thigh. That bruise began to peel. Not knowing what it was and having ocd, I peeled it. Later I found out that that is the first sign of flesh eating bacteria. I got moved to a nursing home where my legs became very painful and my butt too. I developed black sores on my legs and eventually became unresponsive. So back to the hospital I went. The next morning I had surgery on my legs and hips and buttcheeks. I did later try to sue the hospital but failed because they put in my chart that it was skin breakdown. I was bed bound for 9 to 10 months having my bandages changed often and they had a wound vac on my legs for a bit after surgery. I was doing physical therapy and when I was strong enough, I had to learn how to walk again. I also had skin graphs done. So basically that was a year of my life between the hospital and the nursing home. I’m left on SSI and unable to work because they will not allow me to go back to work without a doctors release.
I met Keith back in 2013 when my ex had kicked me out. I just never went back to that toxic relationship. I first lived with Keith and Mary. A month later Keith broke it off with Mary because of reasons other than me. After Keith moved out Mary kicked me out. Having nowhere to go I went to where Keith was. He let me sleep in his truck for three months. We have been together since. In 2017 he was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. Later was diagnosed with A-fib, sleep apnea, and cold. As he got worse over time he was going in and out of the hospital more and more with him staying longer than the time before. This last time he was in the hospital and nursing home a total of 5 months. My apartment is a 4 bedroom apartment. Too big for what I need. Unfortunately we love to help people and so our friends who have become homeless, stay with us. Well we didn’t know these friends that well. They have stolen so much from us it isn’t funny. Recently Keith had been miserable with big blisters all over his legs. He told me not long agonth that he is tired of fighting to breathe and of being in the hospital. He didn’t want to die in the hospital. He wanted to Die at home and everyone near him knew that. One night I went to bed. Then my roommate woke me up and Said he wasn’t breathing. By the time I got to his bedroom and was trying to wake him up, I looked into his eyes and saw nothing. That’s when I realized he was cold. Then I knew that he was dead. The paramedics took only a minute or two to get there but they were unable to revive him. Here it is the end of the month and I’m left to come up with rent and utilities. My roommates help some but not like they should. I’m left living with people I do not trust or like very much come to find out. I can’t rely on them in a time of need. Emotionally or otherwise. I don’t have the heart to kick them out. So I’m looking to downsize to a small one bedroom apartment and have no one stay with me ever again. I’m realizing if I don’t have a better half, I don’t want to have roommates either. I want to focus on my grandkids and kids and maybe go back to school and Take some art classes. I just want to keep what I do have and not get aggravated at anyone for being in my home. So it is me against the world. If u havent noticed, the world is not what it used to be.
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