The last 5 years have left a profound affect on my mind and heart. Home is where my heart is and my heart is home. Prior to this time frame, I found myself in many different places. Sometimes with friends, other times with family and other times alone. I began my journey at 20 when I left home to leave an abusive relationship. Three thousand miles away from the home one home I knew. Decisions shape us more than we realize, especially when you make them from your heart with love. My mother was fighting cervical cancer and she would need someone to take care of her, a win win right. She passed away a year after we moved to take care of her, but my daughter was able to create a bond and share treasured memories with her Grandmother that she appreciates today. That experience left me forever changed and I have been looking for home again ever since. I say that because through the years I have moved from one place to another because someone I loved has needed me and my heart would answer their call. Once my daughter left home, we stayed in touch with each other and communicated. She needed me and I came, we roomed together for a year and she found someone to love and married. I rented a room from a friend which turned out to be a nightmare and I eventually ended up paying for a room that I never used due to a toxic environment. Eventually, I moved in with my daughter and son-in-law because she had complications during and after her pregnancy. My son-in-law is military (Navy) and she needed help. Once my granddaughter arrived, nerve damage was evident and therapy was needed. Both of them are healthier and stronger today. We have moved twice since then. During the pandemic I would have lost her due to a ruptured appendix and a hernia. She is still here, I am still here, we are all still here making things work. I long for my own home now, I have done my due diligence and although my heart would break to leave, they are their own family unit now.
My granddaughter will be turning six this year, I went back to work part-time to help with expenses and still a full-time Grammy . Everyone is working. This Fifty-six year old has been driving since she was sixteen but I have never owned my own car. Driven my Dad’s car, countless friends and family, car rentals to mention a few. I have a flawless driving record and at this point in my life I really need a car. Transportation for my new job as an independent contractor (Spark Driver) would be awesome. My daughter and I share a car, 2008 Honda Civic LX. Since I began driving a year and a half ago, her car is needing more and more maintenance to keep it on the road. I am so very grateful for that car, it has moved us from one place to another so many times I cannot even count. They purchased a Toyota RAV-4 2018 hybrid family car, which they are making good progress to pay off. I love that model it is functional, practical and fuel efficient. I also like the Honda Accord Sport hybrid…the year not sure. I just keep seeing it and thinking one of those would be great too! I would even be grateful for a 2008 Honda Civic LX driven by a little old lady from Pasadena because that car keeps on going. I wouldn’t have a car payment if I could find one. Well, I have always walked, taken public transportation, buses, trains and ridden a bike to get where I needed to go, even in triple digit heat. Life goes on and I have to keep going too. Even money to fix her car completely so we don’t have to worry about losing income would be great. There is always hope that things will get better and we work ourselves to the bone and sometimes we seem to be a day late and a dollar short. So there it is…I know someone is listening. I believe in a Creator, I believe in myself and I also believe that there is someone who can and will help me. Thank you for listening. It’s hard to dream big but I have to start somewhere and a car will put me on the road to bigger and better things. It will allow me to think bigger and at least to begin again to look for my new home.
Sincerely, The Tumbleweed
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