i’m Ernesto 32 yearss old. My origin is philippines and I live and grow up in italy.
So..this is my situation.
i’m living a very poor life with my family.
even tho we live in another country life is still very though if you make bad decisions in life. For example i could not finished my college degree and i don’t have a certificate or a diploma to do a work that i wish to do now.
i always worked as a cleaner for Bed and breakfast for 11 years..and it’s kinda depressing because im like stuck in a loop , i cleaned like a thousands of toilet and bedrooms, and yet i could not save any money for the future. I don’t eveen have emergency money to use in case something happens.
i have to pay bills,groceries, and this little appartment. (Because we live in a province) my father doesnt work its sick. My mom work but barely can handle it anymore. She’s like 58 years old and still not giving up.
My big brother work the same as me but without end cycle. I was getting 600 euro everymonth like my older brother but now…
i lost my job.
The boss of the bed and breakfast it’s not calling me anymore for work schedule.
I feel really Sad, and Closed in my own thoughts.
like i wanna kill my self. Because im tired. It’s embaracing for a 32 year old me to stilll living like a young man.
I don’t have a car. I don’t have a lifestyle…it’s alwasy about working and getting home late in the eve.
Even tho i always counted the blessisng that we had. Like food. A roof, water .
I felt like we need a sudden urge of a change.
I come here because i saw a youtube vid. And now i’m trying to figure out what i still can do. Before it’s too late.
i wanna see opportunities.
I don’t wanna get controlled by my own thoughts, because i know that if i do i will really ruin my self..
Fortunately i don’t do drugs. I don’t smoke. I don’t drink. I prefer to do exercises or study.
The reason why i wanna work as a software engineer is because with the money that i could get i cann get out my family from the rat life tha we have now.
I have this passion of coding. I really like it how it is made. I studied alone with reading through various pages on the web, and some apps and videos.
I tried to get a free course but i was unlucky and didnt got selected i think it’s because i dont have a certain degree.
so yeah.. above all things i don’t even have a residency permit to stay in italy . This happened in 2019. Before the covid my life became a mess. I lost my old job because of the covid,which it was only way to get a contract and get me a permit residency.
up untill now 2023 i dont have a permit residency.
i could have one if could pay 5k euro to a judge, but there’s no chance of doing it.
I’m too poor.
I can’t even buy my self clothes for winter.
I had a girl,,she now my ex after like 9 years. She left me when it was covid, For another guy in the philippines.
Dear, you can only immagine what i went through…
i’m like a beautifull flower. Losing it’s colors slowly.. i’ve become a cold person. And became slave of the society, i mean i worked under them…
This month of november it was my birthday.. thisphone that im using is an iphone 7.. it’s wrecked and has a hole on it. I tried to save money and made 300euro. I tried to buy a new phone to a guy on the web, i paid with paypal 250 euero and…
actually robbed me. Because i trusted the guy, without realizing that i should use some pre cautions which i didn’t T.T .
and now i’m like with only 40 euro on my paypal. With no job. Trying to figure out another job.
“My only wish is to get a certificate after this Formation course, in that way i will apply in, and study with them , then they will help me to seek a job and then i will start to work hard.
even tho i don’t even have a pc..i will try to do something…i dont know how or where i’ll get the money.
i just need to focus in being a positive person.
i believe god has closed me all these door because he is redirecting me somewhere.
and i’m here writing this.i don’t even know if somebody will be available to give me this big help.
I just wanna live a real life. Not surviving everyday and asking my self ” what if things get worst”..
Pleasee and i Beg. If somebody understands me..
i’ll show all proof that i’m not lyinng.