I am writing to ask for help staying out of a shelter for Christmas, and possibly through March. I’ve found a wonderful long term stay apartment for traveling nurses that is willing to let me daughter and I stay here through the winter, until March 22nd.
I’ve maxed my credit cards and spent my savings trying to keep them open. We’ve been in 4 different places, until we found this small, furnished apartment. I am able to cook meals and have a clean bed to sleep in. The area of the city is also very safe. I am down to $500 that I need for food. I am nervous to apply for assistance as our family was financially stable. I’m also scared of being found by my ex or someone in the “family.” My daughter is 11 years old. We chose to homeschool, simply because I have a M.Ed and we live in a major city where public schools are severely underfunded and don’t have a school nurse on a daily basis. Now, sending her to school will only help her father find us. I am seeking legal assistance with custody, filing a PFA, although it took an hour for police to arrive when he was punching me in the head and strangling me. My daughter calling 911 only turned his attention to her. I don’t have much hope in our city’s police. A piece of paper isn’t going to stop my ex. The minute he finds me, it’s all over and they couldn’t possibly arrive in time to save my life.
I left her father after 18 years together. He slowly slipped into a depressed state during the pandemic and while emotional and financial abuse were always present, it wasn’t until this past summer that things really escalated. It turned physically violent in September. We were able to leave with the clothes we were wearing.
He is looking for us and is making threats on my life. We are safe in this situation, as it isn’t a lease but a long term booking. Unfortunately, it costs $2500k/mo but all utilities including high speed internet are included. I am looking for online and remote work so that my daughter can continue homeschooling and taking supplemental courses through Outschool. Those classes are $85/week.
I am looking for help with the monthly charge for December, January, February and March. That totals $10,000. If at all possible and if it’s not too much to ask, I need help with my daughter’s classes. She was looking forward to a trip to NYC to see the Rockettes and have dinner at the Stardust Diner but I don’t have access to our car anymore or extra money for such a trip. A snow globe from the Rockettes would be nice. She loves snow globes. She understands that I can’t tip Santa this year, so there won’t be gifts but as she still wants to hold on to the magic of Christmas. She’s hoping there will be something from Santa and I have let her down so much already. I didn’t know I couldn’t leave the state. I thought we could stay with a relative and be safe on the other coast, in a small town. However, custody laws here say that unless I have full custody, I will be arrested for kidnapping if I take our daughter out of the state.
We’re both on waiting lists for therapy through organizations in our city. I’m also seeking legal assistance for custody so that we can leave the state. Until I have full custody, we can’t go anywhere cheaper and far enough away to be safe.
My ex is born and raised in this city. His “family” reaches far and wide. They have kept me in fear for too long. I am well educated and am finally out of that prison. Student loans aside, I can make a life for us. I just need some help getting on my feet, finding healing for both of us and getting the resources we need to move on.
Thanks so much for reading this. Anything you can donate is so greatly appreciated. I didn’t know anything like this existed. I’ve only heard how everyone is out to get me for the past 18 years. That’s wrong! My daughter and I have been out of that house since early September and there are kind people. From the girl at the first hotel we stayed in, who brought us food on her day off, to the organization of traveling nurses that is allowing us to stay in one of their housing units, even though I am not a nurse. There are good people and I am so grateful to each and every one of them.
It is humbling to need this much help. I thought I would be in a very different place in life by now. I studied hard, I had a good job and I got involved with the wrong man. Slowly, he isolated me from everyone. He threatened anyone who tried to help me. He told lies about my step-father that cost my mom her job where she was the church secretary for almost 2 decades! I don’t blame her for never wanting to talk to me again.
Our daughter is amazing and she is meant to be here. She has heard that she’s a mistake from her father. Her father’s mother told her she should’ve been aborted. Her uncle just changed the password on her Animal Crossing island. An island that she’s spent 4 years playing on and enjoys one online class on Fridays for socializing.
She has lost so much but we are gaining a happier, healthier life, even if we do end up in a shelter. This journey is helping us grow, find gratitude every day and become stronger.
I appreciate any donation and if you can’t donate but can add us to your thoughts, I appreciate that, too. If you are someone who prays, please pray for us. I lost my faith but I am finding it again.