Hi.
I am 42 years old single mom to 14 year old boy and girl twin. I am currently suffering from mental, emotional, physical, and financial distress.
My story goes back 14 years ago, when I gave birth two my healthy twins. My husband would drink and be abusive. He would choke and choke me when I was pregnant with my twins. It would be extremely nice in front of other but will torture me with abusive and violent words at home. Everyone though I had a wonderful husband. I put up with his abuse for my parents and twins.
When my twins were six months old, he came home drunk and pushed me while I was holding my baby girl and I hit my head on the staircase. I had a laceration to my head and I had no choice but to call the police. It was so violent that the prosecutor wouldn’t let me drop the charges so I had to go to the court to beg the judge to vacate the charge because he had a temporary residency in USA and I didn’t want him to be deported. We separated since the incident and for an year we were trying to work things out. Even during this time, he would refuse to pay child support and visit the children. This is when I finally had the strength and the will to divorce from my husband. I wanted to live. I lived with my parents and they took care of us financially and took care of my children while working.
After an year, I was diagnosed with extremely aggressive stage 3 cancer… I was age 32 and my twins were 2 year olds. I was in denial when I first felt the bump on my breast. It was a marble size at first but when I went in for a mammogram 2 months later it was size of a tennis ball and it has spread to my lymph nodes underarm and it was sticking out. It was so large that they could do a surgery to remove it instead they decided to shrink the tumor with chemo. Within in a week of diagnoses I started chemo right away. Within 3 months my mom showed symptoms of weak health. Her breast cancer came back from year 2000. We both had BRCA2 genes. My mom had surgery and went into a treatment. Our hardship would not end here, 6 months later my dad was diagnosed with rare form of cancer. Next couple of years, we had to scramble through all of our surgeries, chemos, and radiations while running a family ran business and raising twin toddlers.
In 2020, my parents both lost their battle to cancer. They left us by months apart. I witnessed both of them taking their last breath. It was a great blessing to be there for them but it was also traumatic experience watching both of m0y strong parents wither away. We were immigrants from South Korea and they worked 70+ hours a week to grow their business and help people who are in need. After they passed, I was depressed due to guilt. My parents didn’t get to retire and receive the best treatment to fight cancer. Since my ex husband was not supporting us my parents had to work harder while going through cancer treatments.
My children and I left our homewtown, NJ in 2021 to restart a new life in near by town. I had too memories of my parents. Unfortunately, after 8 months moving to a new place we had to experience racism, discrimination, and retaliation from our neighbor, landlord company, and the police officers. This incident has turned our world upside down. I was sent to the ER for panic and anxiety attacks many times because these people will lie to me when I knew the law. They are currently under HUD investigation. This event has put me in deeper depression including social anxiety and PTSD. My health started to deteriorate. My children had to watch me cry everyday and isolating myself from the world. I was running our family business that my parents left me but I stopped going to work. The business was ran by my employees. In 2023, we decided to move back to our hometown because of the horrible incident we had. We felt that we didn’t belong there and I couldn’t trust the police department because police officers lied during the internal investigation.
In May of 2024, we were looking for a new place in our town and experience an another horrible treatment from the local realtor. I knew that there were no realtor fee but he kept insisting it and it made me pay the application through his private bank account and etc. When I try to get the truth out from his lies he lied to the landlord of our application and retaliated and refused to rent to us. He screamed and yelled at me over the phone and that left me traumatized because of my ex husband’s former abuse. I was trying to look for a different rental but he had all the listings in the area for apartments. We had to move out of our current place and unable to find a new place to live I had to make a heart breaking decision by sending my children to live with my sister in NY. I was already suffering from trauma from our former landlord and after this new incident I am broken. I realized that I am not strong enough to raise my children and I need to get help physically, mentally, and emotionally. I am not going to let these people destroy our family. I want to fight and get better. God will do his work own part by punishing them for their actions. I believe that what goes around comes around. I no longer want to live in anger and resentment. I promised myself that I am going to back to work and make my parents proud.
Unfortunately, my business commercial boiler cannot be used to due it 20+ age. By not going to work for 2-3 years, I drained out our savings even though my business is doing well. It costs $20,000 dollar to replace the boiler. I have no way of getting a loan at this moment. It is a dry cleaning business so without a boiler we cannot operate. I am so scared to death because going back to work and getting better was my way to get my twins back. I have raised them through so much difficulties and I need them as much as they need me. I love them so much. I don’t want my children to think that I sent them away for good. I want them back. I have dated anyone since my divorce because I wanted to be 100% their for my children. I am currently living in a hotel with my two dogs. I am trying to look for a new place asap so my children can visit us during the weekends.
ANYTHING will help.
Thank you.
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