Hello,
My name is Alejandra. I have 4 kids. My youngest is 5years old. I suffer from severe chronic PTSD. I have anxiety and bipolar depression. I get no help from family at all. We are very distant and I’ve tried making mends. My mother doesn’t call or ask about my kids, she doesn’t even know their birthdays at all. My children’s biological father is not around at all. Due to the fact that he is the reason for my PTSD. I have been going to therapy for about 5 years now and also seeing a psychiatrist. Have tried all kinds of meds and honestly I’ve come to a point where I’ve accepted that I will never look at another adult the same. And that I will not feel normal ever. But I am doing and trying my best. Due to this I am unable to work. I really have tried my hardest. I’ve applied to jobs I have gone to the interviews and in the middle or right before the interviews I start to get anxiety and then it worsens and then I cry my eyes out and and scared out my mind and all I can think about is are my kids ok I need to get to my kids. Because of my issues I also find it very hard to socialize and trust and approach and to be approached. I really feel like I am failing my kids because of this. Like I’m not good enough. All of this has been getting harder especially financially. I have been struggling more and more to provide food and to pay my rent. At least for 2 weeks out of the month I’m struggling to find ways to get food for my kids. I cry to myself at night. I was working on my credit and because of the cost of food really going up it has caused me to once again go into debt because I’ve used my cards to pay rent and catch up on utilities and buy groceries. Now I can’t even make the payments. I had to sell my car last year to not get evicted and now I don’t even own a vehicle to sell to pay my rent and not get evicted. I’m supposed to get 25$ a month for child support but it’s rare when I actually get anything. I’m asking for help to be able to pay my rent to get some groceries and enough to at least buy a little cheap used vehicle. I really do appreciate anything 🙏 it hurts me to fell that I am failing my kids and that once again I don’t have the money for the rent so it is a form sure that I will get evicted. What am I going to do? Where will my kids and I go. I know there are shelters but from what I have been told from calling the 211 help line is that the shelters are completely full right now. I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I’m not ever going to be able to just sit back and relax and take a breather for at least 5 minutes without stressing and feeling so lost. If you can help I really want to say thank you so much. I know the Lord Jesus Christ is going to bless you 10 times more. Thank you so much.
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