Hello, I have never asked complete strangers for money before, and this is an indicator of the trouble I am in. It’s not easy.
I’m 58 years old. I was born and raised in the UK but have been living in Italy for over three decades. I’m the father of a 14-year-old boy who lives with me 7 days a week. His mother and I separated 10 years ago (her decision – she wanted another child, I didn’t). We have joint custody and used to have specific days when our son was to stay with one parent or the other. So far, so normal. But then three years ago she changed her job, accepted a transfer to anther town, and our son decided to live with me full time. My ex partner has never made any contribution to his upkeep.
I work freelance. I’m actually quite busy at the moment, though my work dries up a lot over the summer months. Also a couple of my contracts will pay only when I finish the work (so probably in late spring). I can’t work more because I also have to be there for my son (cooking meals, food shopping, following his work at school, etc).
My father died last year and my mother is in a care home with dementia. I had always assumed that, upon their deaths, I would inherit my part (a third) from the sale of their house, but all that money has now been spent on the care home.
My Dad would give me money on occasions when I needed it (“Never go to a loan shark” was his frequent warning). I have asked for small loans from a couple of relatives over the last year (and it’s a humbling and humiliating thing to do), one of whom made it clear that, ok but it was most certainly a loan, and the other told me these words which have remained with me ever since: “you can’t live off the back of other people” – I wanted to reply to him “but equally I can’t live without asking for help at the moment”. So, they helped a little, gave me a few weeks/months of oxygen, but made it clear that I couldn’t really ask them for any more.
I lead a simple life, I don’t eat out, nor buy clothes, nor go away on trips. I have a car which is very old and barely road-worthy, my dishwasher has recently broken down but I can’t afford to repair or replace it. A similar story for my glasses (I’ve becomne an expert and regular superglue repairer). My son himself told me that he doesn’t want anything for Christmas and that I should save my money. I still have 6 years of mortgage payments to go on my small flat. Making those monthly payments is challenging, let’s say. I’ve fallen behind with building maintenance payments and other bills and frankly I don’t know how I’m going to manage. I just want to accompany my son to adult life, and hopefully a decent job, and then I will have fulfilled my responsibilities and hopefully he will be able to fend for himself.
I have tried to analyse the reasons for my money shortage. They are I believe the result of various factors: my separation (meaning that after ten years of living together I was no longer paying for only half of the bills and expenses but having to pay everything); the precarious nature of my work (I teach English privately); the Covid pandemic (my work was decimated and has never completely returned to pre-pandemic levels); the costs of raising a son alone; and the increasing cost of living in general.
Thanks for making it so far in my story. If you can help me at all (with any amount), I will be eternally grateful to you from the bottom of my heart. I hope one day to be in the situation to help others going through a hard time.
u9851922955@gmail.com
https://paypal.me/thnx25