To who may read this and feel compelled to lend a hand,
Hi, I’m AD, father of three kids and a full time employee in a steel mill. The hours are long and the pay is good, however I am now divorced for a second time and this has caused extreme financial stress on me. Over the course of our 12 year marriage, my ex wife never had a reason to put anything in her name because my credit was always sufficient. Fast forward to 2020 and we have approximately $35,00 in consumer debt that we, as a married couple have incurred together. In October of 2020, I filed for divorce.
During the next 18 months, I moved out and began to start over. I remained and still remain extremely active with my children. I moved back home with my folks to save money and wait for the right place to become available to rent, all the while I was still paying the mortgage on our home, all the debt payments and $2100 in child support per month. This is around when the minimums on our debts got to be an issue to keep up with and I began to dip into credit cards to survive. When the divorce was final, our debt had grown by $15k more dollars, all in the name of surviving and work became slow(it’s seasonal/cyclical with the economy). The judge determined that my child support wasn’t sufficient so he bumped it up by $200 and “awarded” me all of the debt because it was all in my name. In his words, “I can’t make her pay any of this because it’s all in your name, sir.” To which I replied, “Had I known that I was going to be here today three, five or nine years ago, I’d have made sure her name was involved with our debts. I didn’t marry to expect a divorce and me be pummeled in debt while trying to restart my life, make a home for my kids to come to.”
So, I say all of that to say that it’s been since October of 2020 that I’ve been living paycheck to paycheck and sometimes, there isn’t always enough check so I have to dip into credit for a cash advance to help with expenses such as rent. This has snowballed into 60K in debt and the minimums are all I’ve been able to afford. I am on a budget, I live very poor and I could care less how I look to my friends or family, this is about the emotional struggle between doing my best and giving up. I have considered bankruptcy but that’s my absolute last resort and I don’t want to destroy my credit while trying to restart my life. This affects my social life as one can imagine. I’m asked all the time why I don’t date and the answer is simply: “I can’t, in good faith, date someone with the intention to get serious and drop the atom bomb on them that I’m in this insurmountable amount of debt. That’s not fair to someone who doesn’t have the same baggage.” I wouldn’t want that done to me, so I’m choosing to be alone until this is cleaned up.
If there’s anyone out there who can relate to my story and feels compelled to give, I would be forever grateful. It’s embarrassing to come on here and post this but I’m in a pit and the only things that keep me going are God and my children.
As I mentioned in a previous paragraph, I’m roughly 60K in the hole. Anything helps, God Bless.