I don’t know what else to do. I have tried so hard in life. I look around a see people with family that help and support them and I can only wonder what that is like. Can only wonder what it’s like to have a mother or father that cares. Can only wonder what it’s like to have siblings that care. They say lead a good life and good things will come. I’ve led a good life, I’ve been honest, always had a job, helped people when I could, and stayed away from drugs. All for not. I have 3 daughters and full custody of them. I receive no help from the mom, nor either mine or her family. They deserve so much more then I’ve ever been able to provide them, and I kills me they have to be on my ride through life. I always wanted when I had kids for it to be different for them, for them to know what it’s like to have family. The hope was just a false dream. It kills me that just like me they don’t even know what the word grandparent means, have never known what it’s like to say “hi grandma” or ” hi grandpa”. Only thing they have that I didn’t is a father. Yet I still feel they would he better off without me or with someone else. I don’t know what I did in a past life or what but I can’t take this life of what just feels like punishment for what seems like just being born. I can’t hope anymore it’s to painful. I’ve almost gotten to my feet or made it what felt like inches away from making out of the hole so many times only to have life knock me back down to the bottom. They say God only give you what you can handle, or God always tests his strongest creations. I can’t handle anymore, I can’t handle another test. I am broken, life has beaten me. This outreach, this cry, this plead for somebody, anybody is my last attempt. Please even just someone to help guid me, to just be there for me would be like a gift from God. I’ve tried so hard, done everything I can, have given every morsel of energy I could produce. I have nothing left in me but the energy to hold my hand as one final attempt. Even with no hope left in me, I have to try anything I can for my kids, they are the only things keeping from just letting go.
https://www.paypal.me/MitchellMathie430