I am a german father (45 years old) of three wonderful kids (11, 13, 17) and I went through a lot and still travelling. I’ll explain it topic by topic.
Years ago, my wife tricked me into having our now 17 year old daughter as she purposely lied to me telling me she uses birth control. We dated a few months before we realised that we are not made for each other so we broke up. A few weeks later she came up with the news that I’m gonna be a father.
What a bummer. I love my kids to death and would never anybody do them harm. But at that time I didn’t know what to do. Well we went through everything together. Pre labor, labor, birth. I was always by her side because it was my girl being born. We tried to raise her together but it’s been hard as she got a new boyfriend and I was jealous. Long story short. A few years later I had a bad knee injury and needed surgery. I moved in with her in that time as she drove me to the doctors appointments, physical ed and more. We got to know each other more during that time and decided to marry and have a sibling for our daughter. Which both happened and my other love of my life was born. And 1.5 years later my son.
Now the real issues began. Remember as my wife tricked me into having a kid? Well that was because of her psychological illness. She suffers from borderline alongside everything like depression and more. The situation got more and more tense, resoluting in her driving to a bridge on evening. She wanted to commit suicide as she couldn’t handle 3 kids plus a job plus maybe me. I called the police and they saved her as I knew where she was. She was sent to a closed institution where she was taken care of. It was tough for everyone of us. I had to handle my full time job and the 3 kids and maintain positivity. They had questions. Once she called from the closed institution and told me that I should leave her, get a new wife and be happy. But I’m no jerk. Of course I wouldn’t let her down.
Well time passed by, she eventually got released and sent to therapy. Which was again tough for the kids as they couldn’t see her mom. Only on the weekends. After some time she got released and sent to ambulant therapy. She was home again but as really some time went by, she had to basically get to know our kids once again. They were quite drawn to me as I was always there for them and always will be. That was though. Time went by and her “borderline” spasms were absolutely fierce to manage. But I handled everything. She eventually went back to her job and did well. She kinda drew herself into work, as this was the thing she was good at.
The final chapter. She was handed promotion and we talked about it. I told her it was too early with 3 kids and working full time and because I had a realistic approach to her medical history. But she nevertheless took the promotion with the outcome that she worked even more, leaving the kids and of course me, way behind. The kids knew who to come to if they had a problem and it was not her, the kids knew who to talk to. That created a huge gap between and us 4.
Besides that she drinks an unusual amount of alcohol every freaking day which results in bad memory and more.
My feelings for her were at an all time low because she didn’t do anything for the kids or me. I had a full time job, I cooked, I cleaned, I took care of homework, I cried almost every freaking night.
One evening she asked me if she should move out and that’s when we got to talk about everything. 3 weeks later we decided that we can’t be together no more.
We still live together, because we don’t have the money that she can move out.
That leads me to the next topic:
I always was a worker. I got my exam from school but that’s it. I am not proud about what happened in the years between 14-20. I was an idiot.
I went to an actors school after regular school but couldn’t finish that.
I worked as a waiter long time but all the money I made went straight into the gambling slot machines. I smoked weed. I almost threw my life away, was a gang member, stole my fathers gun and went to a huge brawl with it. Things could have gone south pretty quick.
But I managed to escape that. Got a job in a marketing agency, a really well paid one. That’s when my finances were good for once. Tbh, I never was good with money. I know I always work hard and I think I earn my share. As I made good money and lifted my standards, life struck, the agency was shut down and I had nothing. Went back to being a waiter but I made less money than before but still lived that lifestyle. I went to the army, after that got my first job as a sales manager. And I stuck with sales. I am good in talking to people. That’s where actors classes pay off. I worked long years for a huge company before they released the sales force. My finances were still poor at the time, having debts all along.
I always worked for my money and that’s what I hate. Not that I worked for it, but that I don’t have any of it. Then we got the kids, a house (rent) and overall costs. My debts got bigger. I switched my job occasionally because e.g. my boss had a diagnosed bipolar disorder and I couldn’t handle that at work and my borderline wife at home. I got a good job now and earn my money, but everything got so expensive, I just can’t keep up. In addition to that I got scammed online and that hurts the most. But I wanted to take the chance. And lost.
My first thought in the morning and last thought at night is debts and how I should pay everything. The bank don’t give me money no more.
So yeah, I work a freaking lot for my boss, my kids but I still have no money.
It’s frustrating. So I needed another income.
That leads me to the next topic:
My dream is a financial independency. I tried so many things that are thrown at you nowadays. Dropshipping, affiliate marketing, fba, closer and so many more.
But none of them worked for me. I built a website, tried to create travel blogs.
I invented an advent calendar for kids (but nobody wants to have it – 5 sales in total) and a halloween book that nobody cared about. All these projects I realised at night. After work. After the kids went to bed. I learn something new everyday.
I worked with chatgpt, nightcafe, canva, wordpress, Woo and so many more things. I tried social media as a marketing tool, but failed, I put so much time and effort in any possibility to make money for me and my kids. I want them to have everything they need.
My latest project is a book for kids. “How the Easter Bunny saved Christmas”. I’m very proud of it as I didn’t use any AI to create it. It’s all mine and I will release it next week after I got the cover done.
So that’s my story shortened. I am a beaten man and mentally on the edge. I just need a success and steady money for a better sleep and a better future for my kids. I need money for me to still be creative with my books and projects (I have a huge book in the pipeline but can’t deal with it right now as I need a financial success now and this projects takes very long to realise – but I’ll get it done some day…promise).