I messed up with finances. I’ve been working all the time and forgot to check bills and save up. I was naive enough and I still am, that I could be an actual artist. For years I’ve been working for a company that taught me a lot but I had very little free time and not that great salary and I really believed I could work on my own project with this company as they promised, but that never happened and I don’t think it’s entirely their fault but with the inflation and them choosing other projects as a priority I haven’t had a chance but to leave after years. After that I deep dived into freelance on the internet and just when I thought I had stability many things changed and after a few months of working 16 hours a day I bought a notebook so at least I could go work outside and after that the client decided to not continue our cooperation because they found out they didn’t budget properly and also we didn’t count with the obstacles of cooperating across the sea in this climate.
I still think their project will one day come to life and be great, but I’m not sure if it’s possible right now with the budget they have and I really need to pay my bills and not only work all the time. After a few days after that, my electricity went off just as I was doing a portfolio animation so I could find some normal job at least. I completely forgot about the electricity. I forgot about many many things as I realised.
In between, when times were good, I started a kitchen renovation and I have all the appliances bought, but I dived deep into the work and I hadn’t have time to install them. Now I don’t have any money for the guys to come and make a hole into my wall where the digestor would go.
In past I offered my place for Ukrainian refugees, some great girls and a mom with her son came to live here, and I left them to stay free of charge for as long as they need and they happily stayed for a few months, I was happy to help when people had nowhere to go.
Now I’m in a terrible situation myself and I can just beg and hope that the karma, the universe or some wonderful chance leads some wonderful people my way. I would be eternally grateful and I wish many great things will come your way for your help.
I’m in debt and my electricity is turned off. As delusional as I am, I would very much like to work on a short animated film even after all this, I’ll pitch to a proper short indie film producer and I’ll try to get a funding through any means possible. But to even apply for such things I have to have my life properly sorted out. I know this sounds incredibly messy. But I really have been working all the time.
I know multiple softwares, and I’ve been drawing on paper too, my whole life. I’m passionate about lights and atmosphere, even much more about visual storytelling. As a person who’s uncertain about everything else, not having enough courage to set time for my selfcare aside most of the time, there’s no much I’m confident about, but I feel like I have no choice but to make a short movie.
I want to make a movie about our inner demon ego leading us towards terrible decisions in life and then the same demon mocking us for every decision we make. He’s a cynical little prick and plays on our weaknesses, like a little teenage rocker plays his pawn shop guitar. Basically I’d love to make fun of myself in a very cruel but hopefully funny way. I think I have the best research possible. I’m going to do everything I can to fix this and have proper savings after all this and I’ll never work without a proper contract again.
I need around 18000 altogether for my financial struggles and finishing the kitchen renovation, my broken window and debts, so I don’t eat ramen from an electric grill, and another 70000 for the short film.
With the life expenses I went just a little higher because I’m completely burned out and I could use a week of just sleeping and some time of looking for a proper contracted job for stability, like teaching or advertising. I have to pay bills, until I raise money to work on the film properly.
With the movie budget I went a lot lower because people would be mortified how much it costs and I’ve got my dinner melting in the fridge right now so I’m really not in any place to bring this on the table after reading all the heartbreaking stories here.
I still have to fight the mess of life I’ve created.
paypal.me/kathalaluna