I am currently living on disability benefits after a severe mental breakdown around seven years ago that forced me to stop working and from which my health never fully recovered. Over time, my physical and mental health have steadily deteriorated, and I now live with multiple chronic conditions including endometriosis, adenomyosis, PCOS, IBS, arthritis, joint hypermobility syndrome, autism, ADHD, anxiety, depression, PTSD and complex PTSD. Pain, exhaustion and overwhelm dominate my daily life. I tried to push myself back into work, but living in a large city as an autistic person caused my health to completely collapse again, and I experienced further trauma that I am still trying to process. I’ve been forced to leave everything behind and move back to the north of Scotland, where i am currently living in a bedroom in a friends house. The house is freezing cold, damp, has no central heating and no hot water. I live with constant pain from arthritis and gynecological conditions, and being cold every day makes it unbearable. I cannot take baths to relieve my pain, and I cannot rest properly. To make matters worse, the waiting lists for treatment for my conditions are over a year long, and in some cases several years. I am trapped in limbo, deteriorating while waiting, knowing that proper treatment exists but is completely out of reach financially. Having the ability to access even some private care could give me a quality of life I have never had — relief from pain, better mobility, and the chance to feel human again instead of just surviving. I am not working because my disabilities make it impossible right now, and every day feels like endurance rather than living. I am terrified that if nothing changes, I will continue to wither away mentally, physically and emotionally until I lose all hope. Any money I receive would go toward basic survival needs like food, heating, bills, petrol for my car, and occasionally staying somewhere warm just to bathe and ease my pain. Ultimately, it would help us save toward a deposit so we can escape this situation and have a safe, warm place of our own. If you are in a position to help, even in a small way, you would be helping me stay warm, fed and safe, while giving me a chance at treatment, dignity, and a future that feels worth holding on to.
Any help at all would mean more than I can put into words, and would give me a small chance to breathe and keep going.
paypal.me/heathervarin