Hello, I’m just going to be vulnerable here. I’ve been a bit apprehensive to ask for help on this because I’ve always been one to try and fix things on my own for myself… while helping other people. But I realize the value of asking for help. You’ll see what I mean….
Background:
I’m currently $24k+ in debt and my credit cards have been eating me alive. Why? Over the past 2 years and and some change, I’ve been too ‘helpful’ with some people. For years, I understood good financial stewardship, read Rich Dad, Poor Dad, Richest Man in Babylon, etc. to keep my knowledge flowing and applied myself. Come 2021-2022, I was finally able to keep at least $1,000 in my bank account for emergencies.
I have always been compassionate and empathetic. My dream, despite my current situation, has always been to give freely without expecting anything in return. While my heart was in the right place, my wisdom was put aside when in some situations I let myself ‘bless people’ too early before I had more than enough for us both. Let me explain….
The Beginning of the Issue:
In late 2021, I started a company with someone I knew. We’ll call them Bee. Bee and I connected with two real estate ladies we’d met for a turn-key unit in Texas we’d use as an Airbnb Vacation Rental in early 2022. During this time, I wasn’t financially unstable, and actually put in 90% of the funds despite owning half of that LLC.
To furnish the unit and pay for the service, it was $8.4k we’d owe the turnkey property managers. So I spoke with Bee and two investors who gave us a little less than half of that, and I ended up paying the rest with a credit card I had.
That was fine, it didn’t mess me up or anything right away and I met the goal of getting cash back from that transaction…. However, the debt-to-income ratio wasn’t as ideal as we had hoped about 2 months in. I managed the pricing of the unit and did extensive testing, but for the whole year, no one would book for above a certain amount per night.
This led to me having to pay out of pocket when we weren’t booked, along with cleaner fees (and please believe me, out of the 7 or 8 that were in our unit, only 2 of them could be trusted and it cost me). Since for we weren’t cash-flowing, rent became solely my responsibility since Bee was not able to pay for much.
Utilities, internet, emergencies, management system costs, travel, guest amenities, they all fell to me. I came out a little worse for wear through all this at the end of 2022, but was still afloat enough to take care of myself. Then…
I met someone:
He seemed to have been accosted by the pandemic and was just on the brink of an eviction. A thing about me is people with depression… I care about them a lot. Not that I don’t care about other people, but I just have a soft spot because I dealt with that too. And even if it isn’t fully absent in my life, I still want to be there for others who struggle with it if they’ll allow me.
I don’t really know if I should go into detail with this one. All I can say is that I didn’t just ‘shower him with money and gifts because he had depression’; at seldom times when talked about not being able to eat/not having food, I would offer assistance. I bought him a car to live in, as he no longer had anywhere to go. I helped him get a job. All this is still 2022 when I still have the Airbnb sucking the grief out of me.
He is no longer in my life and I’ve learned from that situation. I’ve taken responsibility for being too frivolous when it comes to people. Yes, “people” because I have been kind to my friends and family too.
“People”:
I had another friend who experienced homelessness and was forced to live in their car in early 2023. I helped pay for their apartment which they still reside in and they’ve been going strong at an Amazon Warehouse. :) He insists on paying me back for his car’s down payment. He has been paying me back in small increments while keeping himself abreast. This has helped me pay small amounts back to my CCs, but not by too much with the interest.
Speaking of Family…
My family has needed things in the past, but what I would mainly help with were car troubles and food. I would end up using my credit cards to help them while waiting for them to pay me back “next check” which some of my CC bills got higher and stayed that way just from that.
I still paid on these with what I would get from furniture rehab, snow plowing, some jobs such as Amazon, a Pizza joint, etc., but some bills remained unfazed. It got to the point where some of them took advantage of my generosity and would keep asking. It was my fault and issue for accepting in good faith.
My Current Finances:
I have gone from job to job, currently working at a UPS warehouse and making less than $280/wk from that as it is a seasonal position. Everything I’ve been making has been going to the high interest credit card debt I have been faithfully paying each month on multiple cards.
Now, one of my cards requires over $300/mo to pay the minimum and I truly don’t have any money left. I’ve helped and helped, but when I’ve asked my family, they weren’t there for me. I don’t entirely blame them, I understand adulthood is about learning from your lessons. I especially don’t blame them for my mistakes nor anyone for how I was too helpful.
I’ve learned this year that in order to help others, I shouldn’t go out of my way to make sure they’re well before I am– how can I go anywhere if the cart’s before the horse? I don’t intend to become selfish or miserly toward people, but I can promise myself this… first, the way I allowed myself and my finances to be used and abused will never happen again. Second, I just can’t be everyone’s hero.
Some Other Reasons My Debt is So High:
- No longer have healthcare, so I have out-of-pocket medical bills that are on a payment plan, thus taking more out of me per month.
- In my pursuit of entrepreneurship, I’d invested money and time into different avenues that have not yielded a return.
- The Investors have been gracious, but I am still paying them back.
- I don’t watch much TV and have maybe 3 subscriptions. The rest are bills.
- Gas & car maintenance.
Screenshots:
Proof of my debt is found in the screenshots. I currently have $79 in my bank account and it has just been a mess. If this served as nothing more than a cautionary tale for being too helpful, then I’m glad I could entertain you. God bless you.
One more thing…
I love graphic design and am an artist. I have much experience with Canva and CanvaPro. I’ve also used MidJourney and ChatGPT Pro and love to learn more about AI. I’ve engineered prompts and wouldn’t mind talking with you about it!!
I also write and draw digital art.
Please contact me at ecnei1@outlook.com if you’re interested in partnering in any way. If I’m going to ask for money, I want it to be known I’m willing to work for it too. 💎
ZELLE: Blacksnowleopard@outlook.com
CASHAPP: $neineiart