I am in a situation and I have no one to turn to for financial help. It seems like our life has been on an ongoing downward spiral in terms of financial relief.
For several years I was self employed and doing great, things were going pretty good for the most part. Then my partner injured his foot/ankle during the summer of 2021, ended up having to have ankle surgery in April of 2022. Luckily we were living in my childhood home that I was supposed to inherit, helping my elderly father take care of the house and with his ongoing health issues. So the ankle issue w/ my partner not working, was ok, as he was helping with our small business. We weren’t rich, but we were managing and getting by.
So after his ankle surgery his mental health deteriorated the longer he was laid up from the surgery and physical therapy etc. On top of all that, things weren’t well with my father either. His health and overall well being wasn’t good and the way he treated me was not nice. I endured emotional, mental and verbal abuse on a daily basis from my father. Including him throwing things at me and threatening to do awful things to me. So dealing with my father and his actions on top of my partners mental health and foot injury, things just weren’t good.
Then the beginning of August 2022, my father and I got into a verbal argument, it escalated and He choked me and then proceeded to hold a loaded gun to my head. What a traumatic experience that all was.
So long story short, we ended up homeless due to all of that. Tried to move in with someone who offered us a place to stay and whom we thought was a good person, and it turned out that she was pretty much a psychotic mess, so we had moved all our stuff an hour away to her place, and literally a couple days later had to move it all again. So we were back and forth, between 3 different places trying to get all our stuff in one place to try and sell it so we could have money to pay our bills and keep gas in our vehicle etc. After selling all of our belongings that were worth anything and having to literally watch what didn’t sell go to a fire as we were using a friend’s property and they had nowhere to store anything that was left, was literally heart wrenching.
In the end we had no choice but to rely on living off credit cards, which was our only option until I could get a job. Those didn’t last long as we maxed them all out. We lived between our vehicle and motels when we could get help to pay for them so we could shower and get a good night’s rest. I was finally able to find a job a couple hours away from the area everything happened in. Still living out of our vehicle, now in a new area where we knew no one, and just trying to get a fresh start.
Due to having our whole world ripped out from under us, my partner’s ankle never fully recovered from the surgery, as he wasn’t able to finish physical therapy and take care of it the way it should have been taken care of. He was able to get into physical therapy in our new relocated location and he was finally able to start working.
We eventually managed to get into a place after 5 months. Things were going pretty well and I thought I could finally see the light at the end of the tunnel and things were finally going to be ok. I no sooner felt that and literally 2 days later, he re injured his foot/ankle in May of this year.
So he hasn’t worked in 5 months now, his mental health is deteriorating worse now than ever before. Partner can’t get any sort of disability, all he can get is food stamps. I am so depressed and am sinking further in debt due to all of this. I can’t make my minimum payments on my credit cards, I can’t afford to pay our rent and utilities, my partners food stamps don’t go far and our fridge and cupboards are bare most of the time.
I have no life anymore, I am so miserable and trying so hard to stay positive and it’s just not working. I am at my wits end, I can’t get a consolidation loan because my credit has sunk drastically, I have absolutely no one to turn to and nowhere to get any more help as we exhausted all those resources last year at this time.
I just don’t know what to do anymore. Between working fulltime, 40 hours or more per week, my mental health and my partner’s mental illnesses and physical health I am just exhausted. I am mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted from every direction possible. I am a strong woman, but I am only one person and I can’t keep doing this. I just don’t know what to do anymore.
My partner is probably going to end up needing surgery again and if that happens things are going to be even worse, because the first time it was horrible. The whole experience of his surgery and aftercare was terrible. Between his mental illnesses and relying on others to help us. Now we are in an area where we have no one who can help us with any of that. I work FT and can’t be home to help him either.
Thankfully my kids are with their step mom and they are taken care of, but I haven’t been able to even give them a good Christmas in I don’t know how long. I feel like a HUGE failure and I am just so lost. I just want a break, I just want to live happily and not struggle like this anymore. I’m beating myself down in so many ways and I don’t know how to keep pushing forward.
All I seem to do is cry anymore, I can’t stop crying and being an emotional wreck. I feel like such a huge disappointment to myself, my kids and partner. I am literally crying right now as I type this. I hate that I even have to ask this, but I am desperately reaching out to see if anyone has any way they can help, I just want to relieve these huge financial stresses and burdens and be happy again. I am tired of feeling like this and crying all the time.
I am sinking in debt and I am desperately seeking any kind of contributions that anyone can help with. Please help save me from what feels like a nightmare as I just don’t know how much more I can withstand. I need financial help so badly. I don’t want to lose our place and be homeless again. Please if anybody out there can help I would be so grateful and so appreciative of anything right now. PLEASE!
I greatly appreciate you taking the time to read my long story. It has been very hard for me to open up like this and expose myself like this. I don’t like asking for help, it really takes courage to do that. It wasn’t easy writing this at all.
I truly hope someone out there can relate and open up their hearts to help us.
I do want to note that once I get back on my feet again and have anything extra, I promise to come back here and pay it forward to anyone I can help on this site. This is an amazing website and I truly want to be able to help someone else who is in need in the future. I am a firm believer in paying it forward and I would love to be able to do so someday!
Thank you so much again for your time.
paypal.me/heady33
Venmo: @heady77
Cashapp: $headyx77