Look…I don’t know or care if this qualifies. I know more deserving people than myself need help too. But I’m tired of keeping quiet, and I don’t care about the shame. I got to put this out there. I am struggling, I am stuck, and I fear there is no way out of this. I am telling the world that, right now, I am dependent on the kindness of strangers.
I currently have $8,000 remaining of student debt, $730 rent per month, $500 car payments, and $1300 credit card debt, among numerous other bills. In addition, my vehicle is getting older and has some problems which I might not currently afford to fix; nor can I even afford a newer vehicle at this rate.
I am living paycheck-to-paycheck, literally. I am having to support people who are worse off than I am (why don’t I cut them off, you ask? It’s REALLY complicated). My accounts are being drained dry virtually every day, every week. I have no wife, no kids, not even my own house. I have become aggressively aggravated, tired, despondent, hopeless, all of it. I am just barely staying above water, partly because I am working overtime almost every day, especially for the last month, just to be able to make more than enough money to live off for two weeks at a time. And I’ve been struggling to get work done there too, to the point where I’ve considered quitting again and again. But right now, I got nowhere else to go.
Lately this has been getting harder and harder. Just last night I went to bed hungry because I need to save money for buying food the next day. I don’t even get paid for another week. I need groceries, gas, new clothes and shoes, some serious work for my vehicle, etc. I wish I were smarter and more talented to where I could come up with another income stream or two to supplement my income, otherwise I wouldn’t be doing this now. (And yes, there is a reason why I am not working two jobs right now. I’ve been down that road and that was brutal. I don’t even want to look back on that.)
I’m not even asking for a million bucks, OK? Not even a hundred grand, not even 50k. If I had even a few thousand dollars extra, right now, I’d take care of some problems—namely this car note, a few months’ worth of loan payments, even helping out a friend who is in more dire straits than I am—and free myself up to help others. I don’t forget favors, see? Even if you don’t ask to be paid back, I will do my best to pay it forward. I am in need, and it’s killing me. Without extra cash, I am inflexible. I can’t move forward in life. I’m stuck with just hoping I win the lottery, find something to create or sell, or hope that a kind stranger out there—someone, anyone—hears my plea. I need a break. Seriously. I need a MF break.
From the bottom of my heart, to anyone who gives, thank you, thank you immensely. And even if I’m struggling majorly with my faith right now, I, somewhere in my exhausted heart, still do believe in miracles. May God bless all of you who read and give.
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