Hello, my name is Alana. I am 27 years old and have an amazing mom who has worked tirelessly to provide for her family since my father’s passing however, things have come to a screeching halt, and we are fighting to keep a roof over our heads even with our two incomes. A little back story, my father owned a business in FL and both my mom, and I worked for him. It was a small family business and we each had our own responsibilities. However, my father was in full control over all financials, so my mom and I were not aware of how things were going financially with the business since we were steady bringing in work and the work was being done and our team members along with ourselves received our paycheck each week. My father was a good man who had good intentions however there was a dark side to him that we would see every now and then throughout the years. So, although, everything was going smoothly in for a few years for us all there was a day I found out about my father’s infidelity by walking in on it, he begged me to keep his secret and that it was a spur the moment thing and that it had not happened before that day and that it would not happen again. So, I kept his secret knowing deep down the mistake I was making keeping that from my mom. But of course, I wanted to trust my dad. However, I soon learned that this was not the case and that he continued to see this woman knowing the pain it could cause to my mom. The guilt of knowing ate at me and I went to a friend of the family and told them about it to get some advice. This friend immediately told my mom who then confronted my dad. This created a domino effect, where my mother found out about the cheating then we got hit with a lawsuit from one of our suppliers saying we owed them close to $1ook and when we confronted my dad about it, he admitted that the business was in debt and that he had not been paying the supplier but instead he was using the money to splurge on this other woman. We were heartbroken and angry at my dad for the things he had done and allowing our family to fall apart for another woman who might I add was also working for our business in the same office as us each day. However, as angry as were we did not realize the impact it would make on his mental health because we were so blinded by our own hurt by what he did that we did not see the signs of his depression.
My dad took his life on a Sunday morning at 5:05am. His last message was to me apologizing and asking for our forgiveness. We found him a few hours later and it will be something we will all carry with us for the rest of our lives. In the months after his death my mom and I have worked tirelessly to save the business since it was both our source of income however, after his death we learned of the total amount of debt in all (more distributors were not paid, credit cards maxed, and other bank loans we were unaware of) we were forced to bankrupt the business and look for other jobs. However, we are now on the verge of losing our home because we are a few months behind. We are not looking to have our bills paid every month we are just hoping to be able to get caught up so that we do not have to leave our home where two additional children, my siblings are also staying in the home. It is not a big home, but it has been our home for many years, and we do not wish to uproot the two younger ones after they have had such a difficult year grieving the loss of our dad. Anything helps and we would be greatly appreciated. I thank you for the time you took to read this and hope that if you or a loved one are struggling mentally that you understand that you are LOVED. You belong here and no matter how bad a decision or outcome is that you know tomorrow is always a new day. Please forgive those who have wronged you because as much pain as we are in in the moment that other person is equally in pain and it’s better to forgive than to bury a loved one. And if you are in a suicidal head space…please stay because there is always a way. Don’t hesitate to call that suicide hotline! YOU ARE LOVED AND YOU BELONG HERE!
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