Thank you for taking the time to read my healing/awakening story of hope & faith.
I am a highly sensitive person (HSP) who is very intuitively empathic. I have two cats and I am a huge animal lover. I volunteer as a dog walker whenever I can at animal shelters. I have worked as a pet sitter/organizational cleaner and used that work to help me though my healing journey.
I have been on a spiritual awakening path for the past 7 years, releasing lots of unhealed childhood trauma from decades of mental, verbal, physical & sexual abuse.
In the beginning of my journey I began unknowingly dating a conman who stole all my accounts (bank, social media, etc & hacked into all my electronics and email addresses). Seven months into dating him, I realized I was being scammed/conned called a Romance Scam.
When I broke it off with him, he attempted to kill me in a car accident, totaled my car and broke my humerus in my right arm, leaving me for dead. He was facing a felony charge for the attempt on my life. He began to gang stalk me to scare me from testify in court (as he was facing a felony vehicular assault).
He tried to human traffic me for the next 2 1/2 years.. I moved 12 times in 3 years to elude him and his group of gang stalkers all by myself (and my 2 fur babies). It took three years to finally escape that daily horror.
However, once I did finally find a safe place to begin healing (on the top of a mountain), I was able to begin my trauma therapy with a therapist who worked with me in EMDR therapy, 2 times a week daily, for the next 6 years.
I was diagnosed with Complex PTSD (CPTSD). As a student educating myself to become an intuitive holistic energy healer I have added in other healing modalities such as breathe work, sound therapy, animal therapy, art therapy, empathic intuitive childhood trauma release therapy as well as reiki and others.
My goal through this awakening/spiritual healing journey is to heal myself so that I can help others heal from karmic narcissistic abusive family dynamics. Eventually open up a wellness retreat center for abuse victims to not only heal, but have a safe place to go.
About 5 years into my journey, I began to get really sick and was diagnosed with Mold/Mycotoxin Exposure & SIBO (small intestinal bacteria overgrowth) as well as 10 kidney stones and mild fatty liver. The house I was living in after the first two years of my healing was infested with toxic mold and both my cats & I got really sick.
After being medically gas lit by 19 specialists in western medicine, I was finally instructed to go to an immune doctor who was able to give me proper testing and found out that I had Mold/Mycotoxin Exposure and SIBO. I was dealing with systemic inflammation that was breaking down all my organs very quickly.
This began my next 8 moves in 1 1/2 years. Each house I escaped toxic mold only to move into another house that had more toxic mold. I wanted to get a functional doctor to support my healing, but I was spending all my money trying to save my cats so was not able to afford my own functional doctor at that time.
Due to many hours of research (I was personally clocking) to learn how to heal my body and my cats bodies, I was running out of money. It was going out faster than it could come in and I was getting more and more sick.
By the third mold house, my cats little bodies could not handle that much toxicity from the mold. So at 19 years, I lost my girls. They were all I had left. I was forced to throw away everything from the mold homes because it was infested with mold spores and keeping me sick.
For the next year I continued to move 5 more times without my girls, getting better and then getting sick again, as each home was infested with toxic mold.
I had been doing the healing journey for up to 6 years at that point all on my own without any family or friends. I was exhausted, still sick and out of money.
My dad had passed away two years previous to him coming to me in my dream. About a year ago, my dad came to me in a dream and I felt an urgent need to reach out to my family to go back and begin healing with them. I hoping I was going to be strong enough to be around them and not allow them to trigger me backwards in my healing.
I decided to go back home and live with my mom to receive support in my healing. I was needing emotional support so desperately at that point. I was craving a human to just give me a hug and tell me everything was going to be ok. I was also needing help financially as I was living pay check to pay check. Since working was becoming more and more difficult due to being so sick.
My mom was in another state at the time, as she was just beginning retirement. I found out she was also dating someone only a year after my dad transitioned.
So, instead of going home to my childhood home, she asked me to be with her and her new boyfriend in this southern state for 5 months and then we would return to my home state.
I found out quickly that my mom had been telling lies about me my whole life, and creating a false narrative to my whole family and all my friends back home. I was informed that she was an undiagnosed Bi-Polar and an undiagnosed narcissist. I was also feeling unsure about her boyfriend because he seemed to be scamming her. So there was a lot of chaos that I was unknowingly walking into.
The boyfriend was triggering me, as I could see right through him. When I attempted to speak to her about this, she called the cops on me on my birthday and kicked me out of the fifth wheel camper. Again, I was in a state I knew no one and was down to my last $500. I was forced to stay in a shady motel that night.
There was a man from the 50+ Senior Park who offered me a free flight back to my home state, because he lived there too. My mom banned me from going back to my childhood home, so I had no place to go once back in my home state. To make things worse, not one of my family members would help me or take me in, due to the false narrative my mom had been telling everyone about me.
I began living with this stranger for 5 days. However, he attempted to rape me, so I had to leave in the middle of a very cold winter (negative weather temps). Now my brother and sister in law were forced to take me in. I say forced, because they were under the illusion of my mom’s lies about me. ( I do have a sister, but she will not speak to me for unknown reasons. Again due to my moms lies. I feel like I walked into a Twilight Zone nightmare. )
I began the slow re-building process, as I was still healing from mycotoxin exposure. My moms 5th wheel was also infested with toxic mold, so I became more sick by going down to see her. I continued to get more physically sick day by day. Also, I had more trauma to heal after realizing the truth of who my toxic family really was and all the obstacles they had intentionally been placing in my path.
Three months to the day of living with my brother and sister in-law they kicked me out of their house for more lies that my family was speaking about me and that they listened to. This was devastating, because I was close with my brother growing up. I was feeling the ultimate betrayal from all my family members, as I just wanted to be loved. Realizing that the universe sent me away from them to heal initially because they were so dysfunctional and toxic. All these decades I was unaware of how dysfunctional there were. So, April 25th, 2025 I had formally emancipate myself from my whole family, not because I wanted to, rather for survival.
I was once again without a place to stay in the early spring time of 2025 and I prayed and I prayed and I prayed to have the universe send me an angel; to help me. That is exactly what happened. I walked into a church and a pastor said he had a place for me to stay for free for a couple of months while I get back on my feet and get some income saved. I was only able to get a job that would give me 25 hours of work. (as I do have pet/house sitting experience & organizational cleaning experience, but was unable to get any work in this new city.)
I was still trying to re-balance my immune system, so was still very sick. Also the stress of this job was making me even more sick as it was flaring up my already chaotic nervous system. I was having a hard time working that much, even though it wasn’t that much. Being around all the energies of the customers was too much for my sensitive body and nervous system. Also, one of my co-workers was an a trigger as she was just like my mom.
I had to keep working because I had no choice, being all by myself with no one to support me. However, I could feel my body getting getting more and more weak as the days went on. Once again, doctors were not able to help me. This began another round of being medically gas lit.
About a month a half ago, I got so sick with a temperature of 101 degrees. I was not able to go into work & have not been able to work since. I have had a temperature everyday for a month and a half. My immune system is failing and I am dealing with more systemic inflammation as well as HIGH IRON levels, low sodium and mild fatty liver. (these test results just came back on Xmas eve)
I was pay check to pay check before I had to stop working. So, I have reached out to the state for assistance, but the doctors don’t want to provide the proper documentation to help me get that support since we don’t have a formal diagnoses in this state.
Now I am down to my last $100 needing clean healthy food for my immune system and herbs and supplements to help me heal as well as money to be able to get the proper functional medicine testing done so that we can figure out how to help my body begin to heal, rent, & phone bill.
I do not have a vehicle yet, so I have to walk everywhere and I do not have the energy anymore to even go get my groceries and water.
I was not able to pay rent for the month of December. I am not sure how much longer I will be allowed to stay here without paying rent. I just had to ask him for help with groceries, but I can tell he does not have much more to give. He has already given me a total of 3 months of free rent. I have never been in this situation, so I feel so helpless.
Everyday I just get more and more sick and I am barely able to get out of bed for very long each day. I have no one to help me. I am no longer able to pay the pastor/my landlord his rent and I am running out things to survive.
I found this site and figured I could try to see if there are kind people in this world that have money to donate & help me get better & back on my feet. I want to be able to heal and support others in their healing journey. As that is my goal, is to help others in this type of situation.
I guess I needed to experience it first, before I was allowed to help others. I am scared I am going to be homeless and am scared to loose the cats that I have been taking care of in his house. As they were here all by themselves and they too were getting sick, because he didn’t have time to properly take care of them. They were in one room that was dirty with only a cat tree to sit/lay on. Since I have been here for the past 8 months, I have helped them heal and thrive. I told him, that I would adopt them, when I am able to leave and find my own place.
Any help would be so appreciated! Thank you for your time and I send my love, light, peace & gratitude!
If you feel called to donate:
Venmo:
www.venmo.com/u/LoveDivinely
Zelle:
I can provide Zelle information via my email address