I have bills coming due and not enough money to pay them. I am not sleeping and am making myself physically ill with the anxiety of this situation. I know a missed bill may not be a real big deal to a lot of people, but I spent a long time rebuilding my credit after some dumb decisions in my early twenties and for close to 30 years I have not missed a single payment on any bill and was only late once (one day late). My situation isn’t about one missed payment, it’s about all of the following payments after that as well that I won’t be able to make.
A little about me.
I am a 53 year old man who has worked most of my life, starting at age 12 (Summers, Spring break, Christmas break), but I have not been able to work much since a bad shoulder injury in late 2015. I spent months in physical therapy before the insurance company finally decided I needed surgery. Rotator cuff completely torn off of the humerus bone, requiring stainless steel attaching hardware to put things back where they belong. Many more months of therapy and finally was listed as partially disabled.
To say that it’s difficult to find work as a man in his late forties (now fifties) with a shoulder injury would be a great understatement. To save money I lived with my parents (both retired, fixed income and in their seventies). I do whatever needs to be done around the house to “earn my keep” and have used my savings to pay my own bills as well as chip in for groceries and other needed items.
When my mom was diagnosed with brain cancer (glioblastoma multiforme) in November of 2019 our world switched gears. The main focus of my dad and I was on my mom, trying to get her healthy and do everything we could for her. When mom passed on March 5th 2020, just 3.5 months after her first trip to the hospital, we were devastated. She was the glue that held the whole family together. On top of that we were hit with the Covid lockdowns just a week before her memorial service was set to be held. We finally got to gather to say goodbye at the end of June, 3 months after the initial memorial was scheduled.
Terrible loss for our family, extra bills to pay and a loss of my mom’s social security income hurt the household. My savings began to vanish and I started taking up the slack with my credit. I was “robbing Peter to pay Paul”, using my credit to pay bills and cover living expenses and using savings to pay the credit bills. Of course, the money being spent was always more than what I could afford to send them at the end of the month. Yes, I know how dumb that is, but without a job and with bills coming in and living expenses continuing every month I needed to have access to funds.
Before you think it, I wasn’t spending money on myself. No new clothes, no trips, I cut my own hair. The last pair of shoes I got were a gift from my dad almost 2 years ago. My vehicle is a Ford pickup that I bought new in 2005, long before my financial troubles started.
I am not trying to get rich, I am just trying to keep my head above water while trying not to disappoint my dad.
Thank you for reading this. https://paypal.me/thatguyken?country.x=US&locale.x=en_US