Hello, my name is Gianna. I’ve never done this before but I’m giving it a try because a friend recommended it. I do not know where to begin. In recent months I was forced to move out of my mom’s house and create a whole new life for myself; causing me to have to become financially independent. While living with my mom, I endured a lot of emotional and even some physical abuse. From a young age, she had me on strict dieting regimens and forced me to exercise because “no one would love me if I was fat”. I always tried to satisfy my mom’s wants. If she said no one would love me if I was fat, I’d exercise and starve myself. If she said I was ugly, I’d wear makeup. As a child, I had to learn how to take care of myself and my little sister because I could not count on my mom to be there for us. I taught myself how to cook certain meals, do the laundry, and how to properly clean the house. Normally, if there wasn’t food on the table by the time my mom came home from work, she’d be infuriated with me and tell me how ungrateful I was. At this point in my life, the only thing I had taught myself to cook was pancakes. So from that point on I made my mom pancakes for dinner every night so I could avoid being yelled at. That soon was not good enough for my mom, and she just began to demand more and more from me as I got older. Now being 21, I realized that my mom should have helped me more, she should have helped me become the best version of myself. Instead, she created someone who is fearful of the people around her. I now am trying to navigate the world on my own and I realize how challenging it can be.
My mom kicked me out when I was 19 years old and I was able to find an apartment. I managed to live paycheck to paycheck for a while. However, my job isn’t paying me enough to where I can afford rent anymore. Additionally, I also cannot afford to pay any of my bills. I am a full-time college student working a full-time job. I am making so little to where I am considering taking on a second job to provide me with more financial support. However, there are just not enough hours in the week for me to do that.
I am supposed to graduate with my bachelor’s degree in May of 2023 but I have not been able to focus on school. I’ve been so preoccupied with stressing about how I am going to afford dinner and rent this month. I do not know how much money I need, but I do know I need a lot of it. I’d never want to take advantage of someone else’s generosity so I will be grateful for whatever amount I am given.
I’m a big believer in “paying it forward”. Meaning, if someone helped me when I was in need, I’d one day want to be able to do that for someone else in need too. I hope that this post gets the attention of someone out there who is willing to help. And if this post happens to come across someone’s feed and they are able to help, please know that I appreciate your generosity and willingness to help others when they are in crisis. Thank you all again.
Paypal info: @GBonamassaCimino