In a difficult divorce since 2021 after twenty-two years of marriage, involving violence, I find myself facing a particularly challenging situation. My ex-husband has maintained secret relationships within his professional circle, which prompted me to file for divorce. We have children together, and he developed violent behavior after our marriage. He has mistreated and humiliated me daily in front of our children for 22 years. Currently, despite a restraining order, he comes to my home to scream and hurl insults, creating a toxic atmosphere that worries our neighbors and frightens our children. The regular presence of law enforcement due to his actions further exacerbates the situation. All of this coincides with the date of the court judgment, which he has well-prepared for, surrounding himself with people to assert that he is right, driving me to madness. He comes to my home, hits me, insults me, and I am perceived as the crazy one. Despite his violence and alcoholism, he has managed to obtain custody of the children while I am in a rehabilitation center, allowing him to take control of the situation.
Since 2021, I have endured difficult exchanges regarding our children, and complaints have been filed for violence at my home. My ex-husband has stolen money from me and lied to the Family Allowance Fund to receive benefits, portraying me as a fraud. He seeks to belittle me and takes advantage of every situation. Three of my children, who are of age to decide, have been living with me since 2024, but I no longer receive assistance from the CAF due to overpayment debts, complicating my financial situation. Although I work, my income is insufficient to meet the needs of my three children who live with me full-time, as well as my four other children who are with me every other week and during half of the holidays.
I am facing accumulated bills and debts amounting to €18,000, putting me at risk of losing my home and my children. My ex-husband exploits this situation and makes it known to the children, manipulating them to his advantage. I feel threatened for my life. I am desperately seeking a solution to obtain a full salary. I am juggling small online jobs, but I am exhausted and struggling to get by. My only wish is to work to support myself and my children, but there are times when I find myself without food for several days.
I have created a debt file, but some assistance has been denied. I am banned from banking, and my lawyer does not support me; I have not heard from him in three years. I am seeking help to cover my rent, food, and gas to work so that I can provide my children with a roof over their heads and food, and get them away from their father. In 2024, the children’s judge lifted the placement and encouraged me to show courage, suggesting that I might have a very different judgment. However, I must wait for the family court judge’s decision, which is expected in three months. Regrets do not repair anything.
Between €350 and €670 in salary (on the 15th of the month), plus more work due to fuel costs. My monthly expenses amount to €735 in rent, €280 for electricity, and €5.99 for my mobile plan. I currently have no car insurance because I cannot afford to pay for it. I have €70 per month for food vouchers for my children. I no longer live at all; I feel like a broken toy. I want to get my children back who are crying for me. It is imperative that I get back on my feet and prove that I am not an insignificant person. He claims that I would be nothing without him, but that is false; he has plunged me into debt. In a mental destruction. However, I am still alive and I want to fight for my children.
I urgently need to pay rent, feed myself, and have transportation to work. I kindly ask for your help. The court will be held on January 13, and I need to change lawyers because he is not acting on my behalf. I have a social worker from the department since the end of August, who advised me to seek help. I feel a great shame.
If you wish to bring a little light and help us rebuild, I would be deeply grateful. Four years of survival are exhausting. I miss my children, and they are not happy in the current situation.
Manipulation is destructive, and no one seems to notice. I am available to discuss or provide documents, photos, etc. I will ensure that you are informed of my progress thanks to your support.
Thank you for taking the time to read my message. May God bless you. I express my sincere gratitude.
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