Hello Everyone! I am a 50 year old disabled widow. I haven’t always been disabled, just in the past 4 years. I have developed scoliosis as an adult which prevents me from standing up straight and my neck also became hyperextended which makes it so I can’t lift my head to look up. Since these issues began, my life has turned upside down. I went from being this beautiful woman to a haggard woman suffering from severe depression. It’s not easy going from one extreme to the other emotionally and it’s hard to not think that I’m somehow being punished in some way. But the reason I’m here writing this to you all is because I need help …badly. My husband died almost 3 years ago and he was my everything. My lover, my best friend and supporter and my caretaker. He went in to cardiac arrest while he was at work and his coworker didn’t give him CPR, so he went without oxygen to his brain for more than 15 as they waited for paramedics. When the paramedics got there, they were able to get his heart beating again but he wouldn’t wake up. He was in the hospital for almost 4 days, with everyday passing, we were being told by the doctors that he wasn’t going to wake up. So his parents and I made the decision to let him go. It would have been selfish of me to keep him alive that way and I knew he wouldn’t want to live like that. Since I lost him, I have also lost everything else, my husband, my home, my things, and worst of all, I lost me. I have not grieved for him yet because I guess in my mind, I keep thinking that this is someone’s sick joke and he’s still alive, even though I know he’s not. There was a point during this time that I wanted to go be where he went, with him. I gave up. I’ve been struggling just trying to survive. I have no money because I can’t work due to my disability and I haven’t even been approved for Social Security yet. I’ve been living in a travel trailer that I bought with the money I received as donations from family and friends when my husband died just so I would have some kind of roof over my head. But I’m about to lose that too because I got a collateral loan with it so I could make ends meet and keep water and propane in my trailer for basic needs. The reason I’m asking you all for help is because I need to pay off the collateral loan so they won’t take it and I need to pay ahead about 6 months in lot rent as well as have money set aside for future utilities. I’ve finally gotten out of my slump and decided that I do want to live and I’m ready to have my back and neck surgery so I can at least feel somewhat better about myself. But I can’t risk having the necessary surgery and not have a place to come home and recover. So I’m asking you all please, will you help me? I would be forever grateful.
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