I live in fear everyday, wondering if my abuser is going to go off on me, or break more of my stuff. I literally want, so badly, to just be able to escape the psychological, verbal, and physical abuse that my children and I have been subjected to for far too long. I’ve plead with him to stop, but this only makes him angrier. He smashed my computer, threw my printer at the garage door, destroyed my headphones, picked up bicycles and chucked them at me, locked me out of the house with no shoes, money or phone, tossed scissors at me while I was walking away, and has even hit me with his car. He’s alienated me from my family and friends, and banished me from sleeping inside of the house. I sleep on an elevated board that is propped up between two chairs in the garage. I’ve been called every name in the book, and I’ve been told that I am fat, disgusting, used up, and that no one will ever want me. He’s threatened to put me on the streets, and put all of my belongings on the curb. He’s told me that he can date anyone he wants to, but I’m not allowed to even talk to anyone. He tells me all of the time that he hates me because I’m ungrateful that he’s given me a “safe” place to live, in a good neighborhood.
I left nearly everything I worked my entire life for behind to come and live with him. He promised me that my life would be amazing, and that we’d be so happy. At the time, I’d discovered that the home I was renting to own was filled with black mold inside of the walls, and it was adversely affecting my son’s health. I knew I had to get out of that house, and I didn’t have any other ideas about where we could go. Looking back, I remember hearing a voice inside my head that wondered if I’d regret choosing to trust him someday. I know now that the decision I made to ignore my intuition then was the worst choice I’ve ever made.
Please help me leave this nightmare in my past. I need it to end.
Thank you.
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