I’ve been fighting this battle for a long time. It’s a fight that takes everything from you—your time, your energy, your spirit and leaves you with barely enough to scrape by. I always thought that if I worked hard enough, if I gave enough of myself, things would turn around. I used to believe in the promise that hard work leads to success, that persistence can eventually break the cycle. But I’ve been fighting for years and it´s not getting better.
I worked two, sometimes three jobs, just to make ends meet. I used to be proud of it, thinking that it meant I was doing everything right. Every day is a blur of deadlines, phone calls and late-night or nightshifts. But despite all the hours, the sweat, the exhaustion, nothing changes. There’s always another bill, another unexpected expense. It’s like I’m digging deeper and deeper into a hole that never seems to have a bottom.
I try to plan, to budget, to save a little here and there, but it always feels like I’m running in place. The rent goes up. Gas prices soar. And then the car breaks down. There’s always something—always something else that needs fixing, something else that needs paying for. And no matter how hard I try to stay ahead, I fall further behind.
The exhaustion, the stress, the overwhelming sense that I´m never going to get out of this. I could see the life I want, the life I dream of, but it feels so far away. A life where I could finally take a break, where I wasn’t constantly on the edge of financial ruin. People expect you to do it on your own, to make it work. If you can’t do it by yourself, then what does that say about you? I’m not supposed to need help. I’m supposed to figure it out.
But I can’t. No matter how much I want to, no matter how much I push myself, I can’t do it alone. I’m running on fumes. I can’t see a way out of this.
There are moments, when I’m sitting alone with my thoughts, that I wonder what it would feel like to have just one moment of peace. To not worry about whether I can afford the next bill. To not worry about whether I’ll make it through another month. To not have to work through another weekend, sacrifice my health. I want a life where I’m not struggling just to get by, but thriving.
I want to be able to pay off my debts (57000), this is the thing what takes all my income. It’s hard to admit that help is needed, I´ve been running on empty for so long. But getting out of this situation without someone else’s help doesn’t seem to be an option.
I am very grateful to everyone who took the time to read my story. Any help is deeply appreciated.
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