My husband Abandoned us leaving us with nothing!
After 12 years of marriage he said he was going to the mountains for 2 days with his brother-in-law and never returned.
He moved to another state, left all his belongings behind, changed his phone number and email and blocked all of our family on all social media platforms.
Two weeks later I found out through family he had a new girlfriend.
The worst part about his abandonment is he left behind his only child. My Stepdaughter! I’m the only mama she has left and have always been here for her. That will never change!
Her mother passed away from a drug overdose years ago and therefore I stepped up to the plate. His leaving her behind is devastating to her to say the least.
We’ve been married for 12 years and just bought our “supposed” Dream Home, our “Forever Home” that we would retire in.
He emptied all the bank accounts, disconnected the utilities, canceled the car insurance and left me with all the debt. Literally everything!
He’s been dealing with his mental health for a significant amount of time. Over the last 4 years he’s become aggressive, mean and very distant and last April he physically violated me for the first time. The entire family has encouraged him to get mental health care but he refused.
He left me with a pile of debt and I am drowning. This last year he started having me use my credit cards for things with the promise they would be paid off at the end of the year. But he transferred all of our money out of our accounts.
He left November 27th right before the holidays and left me with those responsibilities alone.
I am managing a 2-acre property with horses, goats, ducks and geese and dogs and cats, alone with my stepdaughter. I do have family that helps occasionally but we are managing mostly just the two of us.
I am working but it’s limited. I have a private home studio hair salon where I work part-time.
I had a back injury and a neck surgery that caused nerve damage a couple of years ago so I had to lessen my workdays to part-time. Up until then. I was a full-time Independent contractor. Now I barely make enough to meet our basic needs let alone pay for the huge debt he left me.
I was completely blindsided by this so I couldn’t prepare for it
I am behind on some utilities but they are working with me until I can catch up. Credit card interest rates are so high they are killing me. I’m basically just making the minimum (when I can.) I have managed to pay the car insurance in advance with a tax return, our groceries are limited but we’re fed and have meat in the freezer. Fuel for the cars is hit and miss so we’re planning out trips to town accordingly and utilities are always late. The gas bill is not paid. I’m managing to feed the animals but it’s such a struggle because of the credit cards. If I could get those paid off I would save an extra $1,700 a month which would be life-changing.
My credit is being severely affected by late payments and I’m worried because when things are settled after our divorce I’m going to need my credit to rely on to purchase a new home or rent some place to live. In October of 2024 I had a 760 credit score, Now it’s 580.
I do have an attorney now. My father has been able to afford to help me with that but nothing more.
My attorney assures me I’m eligible for spousal support but it will be a while before I will see that and it may not cover enough of the debt or bills. And of course we’ll have to split the debt, but he has Credit card debt (I’ve now discovered) of his own that will only balance the scale. I’m stuck either way.
My husband is taking my daughter’s social security money, because as her “rep payee” he is the recipient for her since she’s a minor. He’s spending it for himself and his needs.
He’s quit paying the mortgage so I’m certain we are going to lose this home because I cannot afford the mortgage on my own.
Because I don’t have any legal authority over my stepdaughter, I’m not entitled to her monthly social security money (from her mother’s death) and I’m also not eligible for child support.
All of this being said… I’m stress to the max, BUT I’m a fighter and I will do my best to not let this destroy us. I will be here for her and I will fight for the sanctity of a secure home. I’m not quitter, I just need help.
When I came into this relationship I had a lot of money, when I got sick and needed to rely on him and his income he left. That’s the only way I can explain it now.
They say what God brings you to he will bring you through, … A YouTube video for this page popped up the other day and it hit me like a ton of rocks. I thought to myself, maybe this is the answer that will help us. My faith in God will never waver and I know he has a better plan for us. Ultimately. It’s just really hard right now to see the end result. My heart is broken and I’m still in shock this had happened. Like a tornado he just ripped my entire life away from us and left us stranded with nothing.
I desperately want to protect her from any lack of normality. I don’t want her to be affected or embarrassed by things because I can’t pay for something we need. Whatever it may be. On top of her Dad leaving her! She’s been through enough tragedy in her lifetime!
I’m very embarrassed to be asking for a handout but I am desperate. I’ve come to the realization I’m going to have to get rid of our animals… The dogs and cats are easy to keep but the horses are expensive. The sad part is the animals are the one thing that brings us joy in this crappy time.
If anyone is interested in helping, I want to make you a promise that I will pay it forward when things level out and I am back on track. I have always been a giver and very generous to those in need. You have my word and a pinky swear on that.
To anyone who read this far, thank you so much for taking the time and for your consideration in this matter. I am beyond humbled and grateful for any and all help.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Always Aloha and God Bless Y’all🌸 Andrea
*My overall debt is $36,000 in credit card debt. Part of that is Amazon which I’m using to purchase things that we need. But I am very close to maxed out.
If I can pay that that off it will save me roughly 1700 a month which will be a huge help.
Thank you Again!
https://cash.app/$AndreaHenshaw