Let me introduce myself, My name is Alanah, the proud daughter of Rhonda D Fr. On July 14 2022, my mother was hit head on by an underage drunk driver suddenly taking her life. Since that moment, my life has taken a whole new meaning to it. Being the only daughter out of 4 siblings, I knew our mother’s love, ways & wisdom would now live on through me. My family has struggled significantly, in both our family business and personal lives as the loss of my mom was unforeseen causing an effect that our world became still while the rest of the world moved on. As a family, we continue to push forward because of her. My father struggled with and is now learning to cope with the loss of his wife of 41 years, my oldest brother jumped into his passion as a photographer, My 2nd oldest brother jumped into the family business to help save their vision as my father was grieving and My younger brother and his now wife carried out their wedding plans just months after her death showing strength that will be continue to honor her and not let death rob us more than it has. Following the blessing for our newest edition and the first of our next generation (Yes! My mom’s, first grandchild) a beautiful baby girl. It’s important to me to ensure her future and become the role model my mom was to all of us, for her. Unfortunately, We are still battling our mother’s death in Hawaii’s Court System which has become costly to attend her trials.
As for me ? One year after her death, I made the decision to move back to Florida to help raise my first niece. I walked away from a 6 year engagement where it was clear that I had put my own dreams aside to build his.With my background in business administration and customer relations, I helped build his company while in a relationship that was not serving me and in return walked away with nothing but faith. I realized when my mom was here, I was living in fear of what I thought life meant, that I was supposed to be a help maid to a husband, I needed to secure a future but I’ve realized a relationship doesn’t do that – yourself does. I also knew that wasn’t the life my mom wanted for me. She was my absolute best friend and I know she wouldn’t want me to just exist in someone else’s world. This decision also resulted in losing my job of 6 years since I was no longer a resident of NC. This was now my beginning to what felt like an ending in my life. I have so many dreams I wish to accomplish. Mainly I want to open a rehab center to help people who struggle with Alcoholism and Addiction as well as aid in the fight against Drunk Drivers as that was the cost of my mother’s life. I would also provide assistance for others grieving the loss of someone close to them like the loss of my mother was to me, in return that it would bring them hope that losing them, is in fact a reason gained to live again.
However first I need to get steady on my own. I currently work as a wedding planner assistant, it’s not consistent enough to maintain (I do enjoy it). My job was remote and since losing it June 2024, I have struggled to find a regular job. I have so much experience and I can’t phantom why. I’ve started to fall behind on bills as I felt making sure everyone else was okay was priority when in fact I need to be my own priority first in order to help others.
Ultimately, I wouldn’t change this beautiful struggle I’m in but I would greatly appreciate some help as I’m determined to make it. The decision I made was to live the life my mother & I both deserved and with help getting situated, I know I will be able to carry out just that and so much more. My mother always told me “what’s the worse, the answer is no ? than it’s no but that’s not the end.”
Thank you for taking the time to hear my story. It’s never too late to start over, it’s just scary but l’m facing it. Mahalo
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