Since December I have gone through a personal hell that only a few friends know the extent of. It started with a break up of a 2 year long distance relationship when I found out through a social media post that the guy I was involved with actually started dating someone else being my back. This lead to a mental health spiral that led me to be off work with depression and anxiety. Mid January I was supposed to go back to work as my Doctors note had run out, I wasn’t really ready to go back but thought I should try. The day before I was going back I got a call from my Area Manager to tell me I had been suspended pending investigation for numerous allegations. This hit me like a ton of bricks as I had no clue what was happening. That night my depression was so bad that I had thoughts of ending my life. I saw no way to get through this.
The next few days were hard and one night I spoke to a couple of friends, one to say that if anything happened to me could she come to the house and the other was to ask her to look after my cats. One told me to call the Samaritans, which I did, and the other called the Police and told them what I was attempting and they had to go round straight away. Unfortunately it wasn’t a cry for attention, this was a genuine act. The Police came and were amazing, so helpful and understanding. They contacting a married couple friends of mine and they came and stayed with me for a few hours. The Police came the next day to check up on me and called me the following week to make sure I was ok.
I was put on su***de watch and was under the Crisis Team. They wanted me to stay at the crisis house for a week but because of my boys I couldn’t, so they visited daily for 2 weeks. All this time work wanted me to attend meetings and hearings and answer loads of questions, they couldn’t understand or didn’t want to understand what I was going through and had no sympathy at all. A new Area Manager was taking on during this time who took over the hearing and she was superb and so supportive.
Bottom line, I lost my job. Of the allegations my deputy had said, including being a racist and using the n word, being abusive to volunteers, stealing money and stock and giving volunteers more than the pathetic 10% discount that the company allows, the only true one was the discount. I gave volunteers 50% (which I have later learnt that pretty much every manager does) and I gave them free items if they had worked really hard or had taken abuse from customers. It was gross misconduct and after nearly 7 years, they couldn’t trust me!
I had friends turn on me but also had true friends stand by me. It has come to light that the Deputy was using me as a patsy and was actually doing something highly illegal which I can’t go into because he is now suspended pending action. He was trying to take the spotlight off him by painting me to be a villain. Unfortunately that just put the spotlight on the store and his actions came to light, so it backfired.
The Police, my Doctor and the Derby Crisis Team were all amazing and so quick to help me. I felt so supported and it turned things around.
Unfortunately this isn’t the end of my woes. I had a string of things happen during this time. My boiler is leaking, my diabetes was going screwy. My car has gone wrong, it also needs 4 new tires. I got a speeding ticket on my birthday visiting my mum (4 miles over the limit) so had to pay for the speed awareness course. One of my teeth has gone bad and I can’t afford to have it removed. Milo one of my cats is poorly and has blown up like a balloon and the vet wanted to put him to sleep, which broke me. I can’t afford to get him sorted though and I need the fluid drained. And my other cats, Thackery has an eye infection and Barney is losing weight and is skin and bone because of his age.
And the big thing, because I was dismissed I cannot get full benefits. I wanted to claim housing benefit and I asked my landlord for proof of rent and a tenancy agreement but because he is a friend and has done me a huge favour in letting me live in his house, it was never an official thing and he never told the official people he had to tell, so he cannot give me anything to say I live there, so no benefits. January 2023 I would have been homeless so I will be forever grateful for his kindness. And he is going through lots of issues himself. My claim for help is in but it takes about 3 weeks if not more to process and because I was dismissed I won’t get full help.
Unfortunately, grateful doesn’t pay the bills or put food on the table.
So, this is where I have to come cap in hand asking for help. And I am so sorry as a 53 year old man I have to do this but I cannot see of anything else I can do. If anyone can please see it in their heart to donate anything I would be eternally grateful. I have less than £100 in the bank and nothing coming in. I am so sorry for this and I feel ashamed but I have been through so much. I am going for job interviews and trying to get back on my feet but keep getting knocked down. This is incredibly humbling for me, and I wish I had any other option and I am sorry to have to ask.
And I am sorry for the huge message. Thank you for your time x
My paypal is: paypal.me/DamonHatton